I promise you, one day Chef Ramsey will eat my pasta. lol.

Things We Say:

"I don't like that Green... it's an Army Green"--My Boss, George
"I have a secret for you George. We are the US ARMY Corp of Engineers...."--Me
"Really?"--George, playing along
"Explains a lot doesn't it..."--Me.  
"yes, yes indeed."--George
The thing that got me about this was the sheer favoritism we have in our organization for the military.  I am born and raised by two air force parents.  I guess therefore I am biased, but I have noticed that A LOT of people dislike the Army.  I don't care that much to argue over which branch is better (because I know the Air Force is. Sorry.) so don't try to do that on me. 

"So you are telling me that you don't do prints."--Me
"Nope. you have to go to the security office"--Daniel J, my police friend
"But what if I get arrested?"--Me
WHAT KIND OF POLICE STATION DOESN'T PRINT PEOPLE? (flash funny image of a person leaving a printer) But seriously. 


Enchiladas at 0130.  Probably not the a good idea, but let's hope for the best--Amy
When are enchiladas EVER a bad idea. Sorry, I love them.  


Look, you have me doing sprints at 6am--Leslie, my personal trainer.
First off, it's 6:13, we're almost a quarter of the way to 7am. Secondly, you are my personal trainer....YOU made ME do sprints at 6:13am.--Me
 I don't think she appreciates my ability to think clearly at 6:13 am.  lol


Come on! you are gonna beat me!--Leslie
No I'm not. You are a sprinting track coach. We know better than this.--Me

Again, I think she forgets that I am very logical at this time of the morning.

Blurb My Brain:

So I'm working out with my trainer today, and I am convinced that they go to training to come up with the most awkward, crazy workouts for normal, flabby people to do.  She made me do these things called swimmers, which is like a mix between Supermans and Frog Kicks.  Out like a board, in like you are a frog, all while on your stomach.  I'm sure I looked like a flailing beach whale, (although I am not fat) or at the bare minimum, an infant who can't roll over yet. Why does every work out require me to clench my butt cheeks?  Then we do these things called squat holds, which only would become useful if you need to shit in the middle of a field, with nothing to hold on to.  Holding a squat is not natural, and hurts the hamstrings like no body's business (if that's a pun, it was totally intended).   But Leslie INSISTS they will be my favorite workout.  She said that about Jump Squats (equally as grueling, less awkward looking) and I find myself day dreaming about jump squats while doing squat holds.  So maybe one day, when she invents another torture means, I will believe it.

Oh. And one more thing. I know people say that they can't do something in hopes that the trainer will make them stop, but how come it has come to the point where that word has no meaning? As in, "No seriously Leslie, my muscles can't do this," or "No really Leslie, if I go down one more time, I SWEAR to you I will not be able to come back up" or "Leslie, I'm for real.  One more bench press may end my life because I may drop the bar on my chest or neck."  Drives me crazy.  I get that I have to be pushed, but you make me write down all my damn workouts, and all of my diet, so you know what I had the night before and that spinach will not fuel muscle failed...muscles.  Oh, and you know exactly how much weight I do for various exercises, so you should know to not double it and make me do two more sets. Just saying.

All things considering: I LOVE my trainer.  I really do.  She does push me and I do work up a great sweat, and I have seen a difference in my body.  I just get frustrated with the "can't" thing. 

Featured Randoms:
So my co-worker is made fun of because we say she would be a unicorn if she were a mythical creature.  My other co-worker gave her some bandaids. They are awesome. If you don't like these, you might not want to follow my blog, because we don't have the same humor.  Just saying.

Ok, shut up. I've been busy. lol.

Things We Say:

New York, Newark, New York, Newark. See they sound the same!--Me after a couple beers

Thank God the mother fucker Jesus died, these Cadbury eggs are delicious!--Matt D.

Thank you to my girlfriend for taking me to see New Found Glory--Matt S.
Awwwww you have a girlfriend--Me
Thanks for making me seem like a loser--Matt S.

I am such a child at heart. I think I might have to jump in the puddles on my way back from class.--Sarah.

Hey, I hope you don't mind that I slept with your girlfriend this weekend (meaning in the same bed)--Me
Man, you got more action than I have in the last couple weeks--Chris

Victoria's Secret ships to APO, because they know there is nothing worse than a woman with a VS addiction!--Me


So where are you thinking of getting a job at?--My Boss Mark
Anywhere, USA--Me
You dont' want to be more specific?--Mark
Well, anywhere excluding Hawaii and Alaska.--Me

Just because we have one, doesn't mean we gotta be one when it comes to working out--Me about the vulgar term for the vagina.

wanna know how you find love? move out of the town you've been in for the last fifteen years. Stop looking for it. Get a job, start a career, begin a life project. Go to a bar you've never been to. THAT is how you find new people. Not by complaining, not by obsessing over that same person. Meet someone new, and fall in love with them, because you can't ever know love, until you've given up on it.--Me
  
Attention Stoners: we are all aware that 4/20 is today. Please stop blowing up my newsfeed with your statuses about how high you are. Also, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT EMPLOYERS CAN SEE YOUR PAGES???? (adaptation from a friend's status.... I don have that many friends who are stoners but thought this was funny nonetheless. Plus I think it is stupid when people post that they are doing illegal things.)--Me

I wanna get BEEPED on Friday--Me... see featured randoms.  

I have nine more min of fat-assery before heading to the gym to meet my trainer. Too bad there isn't a whole cake nearby.--Me

Blurb My Brain:

Ok, so I've been busy.  I have gone full throttle with the job application process. I currently have 176 applications under my belt, and about 20% rejection rate. I was an idiot in the beginning cause I somehow didn't submit a ton of paperwork with my applications.  So I fixed that and now have had two offers.  The thing is, that one of the offers I was the backup to the two temporaries, so that wasn't happening.  The other one is in South Dakota, as a Commissary Worker.  No big deal, really, except that it is only 24 hours a week, but cannot get below that number of hours.  With only 24 hours though, I need a second job. Oh, and there's this school thing I have to do too. So. I still haven't decided whether or not I will take the job.  I want to, but I am holding out for finding where my parents are moving to.

Additionally, I had been failing out of my three online classes.  Ok. Failing out of all three is an exaggeration.  More like two of them, and I plan on retaking the other one.  I pulled a B in the Cybersecurity class and a C in the Psych, which is pretty good considering I wrote a 3 page term paper worth 25% of my grade. lol.  NEVER AGAIN will I take three online classes again.  NOT happening.

But, now I'm in one face to face boring--I mean writing--class and that is an easy class.  Well, easy for an upper level class anyway.  The easiness is allowing me to spend some time applying for jobs, and talking to boyfriend.

He's doing fantastic, thanks for asking. lol. He is finally adjusted to living in Korea, and has his routine going on, to get him through the week and all.  I have a similar routine, just pushed back 8 hours because of the time difference. Well, 7 because Korea doesn't do Daylight Savings Time. My routine is wake up, go to the gym with my personal trainer, and then work, come home and eat air (or spinach salads, which have the same affect on hunger) and apply for jobs and go to bed.  It's a fast paced routine, sure, but I am not complaining.

We are almost two months down. HUZZAH! That means 4 more til the midtour, and when I can have an actual hug. I'm super duper excited.  We don't know where we are going, partially because I am so unsure where in the world I will be. But I honestly don't plan on leaving the room for the first day and a half.

Personal trainers are gifts from God.  Gifts that make you wanna kill everything and eat anything that isn't green, and wish you had a bigger bladder kinds of gifts from God, but still.  I have noticed that my clothes are fitting better, and the weight has basically gone down.  Hard to tell because the female weight fluctuates so much because of our cycles, but whatever.  I'm happy.  I am sad that I have to pay her $300 for 10 sessions, but that's ok. I have been training hard, and I noticed it a lot in my knees.  I was wearing a brace and it still hurt.  So I switched to an old pair of Shox (from when they FIRST came out in 2003) until my new Lunar Glide +2 's come in.  Pictures below.

I've caught you up on my life story, now bask in my pretty shoe glory. :D

Featured Randoms:

So even though I am NOT pregnant, I have been reading the blog of "Temerity Jane" and it is absolutely hysterical.  I don't know how well I stack up to her, especially since I don't have the update frequency as her, but one day I will.  You know, after I retire from my full time job and finish school and whatnot. 

Also, saw Jason Mraz post this link here, which are some talented fricken kindergarteners.  I told my boyfriend that if for some god awful reason I have quints, it will be my goal in life to show these kids up.  Worth a watch.
And good old Youtube led me to the following which is a less as talented asian boy singing Hey Jude.  Adorable.

And while we're on YouTube, why NOT watch a penguin getting tickled? I have no soul and I thought it was grand. lol

There's nothing more annoying than "Friday" by Rebecca Black. But the "censored" version makes up for it.