I promise you, one day Chef Ramsey will eat my pasta. lol.

Things We Say:

"I don't like that Green... it's an Army Green"--My Boss, George
"I have a secret for you George. We are the US ARMY Corp of Engineers...."--Me
"Really?"--George, playing along
"Explains a lot doesn't it..."--Me.  
"yes, yes indeed."--George
The thing that got me about this was the sheer favoritism we have in our organization for the military.  I am born and raised by two air force parents.  I guess therefore I am biased, but I have noticed that A LOT of people dislike the Army.  I don't care that much to argue over which branch is better (because I know the Air Force is. Sorry.) so don't try to do that on me. 

"So you are telling me that you don't do prints."--Me
"Nope. you have to go to the security office"--Daniel J, my police friend
"But what if I get arrested?"--Me
WHAT KIND OF POLICE STATION DOESN'T PRINT PEOPLE? (flash funny image of a person leaving a printer) But seriously. 


Enchiladas at 0130.  Probably not the a good idea, but let's hope for the best--Amy
When are enchiladas EVER a bad idea. Sorry, I love them.  


Look, you have me doing sprints at 6am--Leslie, my personal trainer.
First off, it's 6:13, we're almost a quarter of the way to 7am. Secondly, you are my personal trainer....YOU made ME do sprints at 6:13am.--Me
 I don't think she appreciates my ability to think clearly at 6:13 am.  lol


Come on! you are gonna beat me!--Leslie
No I'm not. You are a sprinting track coach. We know better than this.--Me

Again, I think she forgets that I am very logical at this time of the morning.

Blurb My Brain:

So I'm working out with my trainer today, and I am convinced that they go to training to come up with the most awkward, crazy workouts for normal, flabby people to do.  She made me do these things called swimmers, which is like a mix between Supermans and Frog Kicks.  Out like a board, in like you are a frog, all while on your stomach.  I'm sure I looked like a flailing beach whale, (although I am not fat) or at the bare minimum, an infant who can't roll over yet. Why does every work out require me to clench my butt cheeks?  Then we do these things called squat holds, which only would become useful if you need to shit in the middle of a field, with nothing to hold on to.  Holding a squat is not natural, and hurts the hamstrings like no body's business (if that's a pun, it was totally intended).   But Leslie INSISTS they will be my favorite workout.  She said that about Jump Squats (equally as grueling, less awkward looking) and I find myself day dreaming about jump squats while doing squat holds.  So maybe one day, when she invents another torture means, I will believe it.

Oh. And one more thing. I know people say that they can't do something in hopes that the trainer will make them stop, but how come it has come to the point where that word has no meaning? As in, "No seriously Leslie, my muscles can't do this," or "No really Leslie, if I go down one more time, I SWEAR to you I will not be able to come back up" or "Leslie, I'm for real.  One more bench press may end my life because I may drop the bar on my chest or neck."  Drives me crazy.  I get that I have to be pushed, but you make me write down all my damn workouts, and all of my diet, so you know what I had the night before and that spinach will not fuel muscle failed...muscles.  Oh, and you know exactly how much weight I do for various exercises, so you should know to not double it and make me do two more sets. Just saying.

All things considering: I LOVE my trainer.  I really do.  She does push me and I do work up a great sweat, and I have seen a difference in my body.  I just get frustrated with the "can't" thing. 

Featured Randoms:
So my co-worker is made fun of because we say she would be a unicorn if she were a mythical creature.  My other co-worker gave her some bandaids. They are awesome. If you don't like these, you might not want to follow my blog, because we don't have the same humor.  Just saying.