Alcoholics kind of make me angry

Things We Say:  
What an eventful evening full of sharpie tattoos and condom balloons.--Michelle

Lol.

dude, the hallway smells amazing.--Me
smells like cheeseburgers.--Jonathan
smells like chinese-y cheese burgers.--Me

It smelled fantastic!!!!!

Man, I'm still recovering from last night. My colon and my liver hate me.--Me

It was probably TMI, but alcohol is bad for the system.  An ex calls them Beer Shits, but I call it Death. 

If you're reading this, congratulations, you just survived the delete game.--Matt

I LOVE playing this game.  Normally.  Now that I plan on being an awesome fantastic internet blog star, I feel like I have to add anyone who requests me so I have a chance to market the blog some more.  I almost stooped so low as to put on a facebook ad.  But who wants to pay $1.74 per click for a FREE blog.  Maybe when I'm employed again. 

Guess which of these two plans is mine for the day, after I'm done with this stupid project:
a) sitting in the tub with a hot cup of chamomile tea, surrounded by candles and listening to Wham's "careless whisper" while evaluating my choices in life...
b)Get ready to go out, make someone fall in love with me over a cup of coffee, and then work all night and deal with the usual craziness.--Carolin

Replace "chamomile tea" by Jäget bombs, add five people to the tub and turn "careless whisper" into chop suey and A starts to sound like a plan.--her friend Stephan

Stephan's idea sounded lovely.  I love Jaeger bombs, and Chop Suey. . . the five people in the tub is not my style though.  haha.

One thing can certainly be determined after tonight. My version of drunk dialing is looking at the phone for 12 minutes and then throwing it at the wall when I realize it's not a beer.--Carolin again

I get very violent when drunk. Ok, that's not true.  

Does anyone else find it interesting that you find out who's worthy to be in your life over time? I mean those I thought would be good friends prove not to be, and those you didn't think would be turn otherwise. It baffels me sometimes. Those who know they are friends, I thank you for being true.--Kevin

This is nice because the day before this he tells me how sad he was to have met me so close to me leaving.  D-AAWWW..

Blurb my brain:
Readers, I have to say something.  As much as I like drinking, and as much as I enjoy the bar scene, there's something serious I have to say.  Alcoholism is dumb. We've all been to bars and seen it.  Maybe we've been that way ourselves occasionally.  But if you have a problem, get help.  Don't get help by day and be belligerent drunk by night.

OH! and WHILE I was typing today's entry, the hotel's alarm went off. It told us in English that the hotel was having a technical difficulty, and we must calmly leave the building and follow any directions from building personnel. It took 5-7 minutes, but 7 fire trucks eventually showed up.

And NO SOONER do I type that last paragraph, that the alarm went off again.  I guess that I'm not getting my shower in tonight. :)

Actually the sad/funny part about it was the first alarm went off as Patrick (4 year old) was in the tub.  He was trying to sneak out and as soon as his foot touched the floor the alarm went off.  He thought he caused the building evacuation.  The second time he was in the bathroom again, peeing so he put his underwear back on cause he was scared.  Now he's paranoid it will go off again.  It's like everything he does in the bathroom is forbidden. Poor. Kid.

It's all closing in on me

Things We Say:
I mean, it's not like we weren't attracted to each other. We can't be in a room together without ripping our clothes off.  We just weren't a good fit otherwise.--David

I wasn't talking to them--Person 1
You told me they were MP wives--Person 2
I just didn't want you to know.--Person 1
Ok, so I didn't really find this funny.  But it made it here because it basically didn't make sense.

All men have flaws.  That guy, that guy, that guy, THAT guy definitely.... but if you can love Boyfriend for his flaws, then you two should be fine--Boyfriend's old supervisor. 
He told me a bunch of things I needed to hear last night.  Most of which, I already knew.  And some of which was him looking out for his friend.  But he made me want to catch a cab to Frankfurt (trains stopped running already by this time of night) and fly to Seoul.  Because I miss Boyfriend terribly.  

I have been following your blog for a long time.  I actually go to your page and see if you have a new entry.  I was SOO angry because I was going to be that 25th "like" on your facebook page and then I saw "Thanks to Michelle Baker" on there I was so angry.--Morgan
Awww. So you like my blog then!  I was afraid that my rantings were basically just stupid and not a soul cared about them.--Me
No, I love it! It's so AVERAGE.  You talk about everyday things that everyone goes through, and that's why I love it.  I don't want to read a blog about traveling to Africa to run with the zebras.--Morgan
Right? I thought "No one is going to read an entry about me watching TV in a hotel room and eating a bag of potato chips!" But my blog does not claim to be extraordinary.  I say so in my title.--Me
I LOVE this conversation because of 3 things: the girl who I am talking with is pretty, and nice; the girl and I are talking about something I do; and it means that what I'm doing here is actually read by someone.  And that makes me a very happy panda.  :)

Blurb My Brain:
So last night was my last Friday night.  I may or may not have done Hollaback girl by Gwen Stefani on Karaoke.  I may or may not have drank 5 Captain and cokes, a shot of Jaeger, a Vegas Bomb, a strawberry kiwi shot, a pop rocks shot, and a Vodka Redbull.  I may or may not have demanded a hug from my best friend, got shot down, and then another best friend had to force him to give me a hug.  I may or may not have cried.

Last night was rather drama filled (with other people I guess).  But you know what? I think it finally hit me that I'm leaving here. Sure somehow the Hotel Monotony wasn't enough to tell me. And babysitting also wasn't enough to let me know because my parents were clearing our house.  But last night, seeing so many GREAT friends and thinking that in 4 short days (because days really are quite short) I will never see MOST of them again.  I can kind of understand why Boyfriend once nearly cried over a storm sewer he threw up in.

Just SO many good memories with these people.  So many. And in 4 days that will be all they are.

Memories.


If you aren't moving, go out with your friends tonight. (It's allowed, because it is Saturday) Bring a camera or a phone with a camera.  One of these days you are going to wish you had.  I haven't even left yet and I am yearning for the whole the good friends are creating.

I love you guys.






*ALSO* I am sober typing this.  lol.

Such is the Hotel Life

Things We Say:
I just saw a woman fall in the streeet so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don't know her or her hierarchy of needs...--Unknown

To all you men out there this is an example of what not to say.... I get home from Afghanistan and while I was there lost quite a bit of weight.  The first time my husband sees me naked all he say is "Holy hell, where did your boobs go?"--Unknown


Blurb My Brain:
So last night, the hotel informs us that our room was reserved to someone else from Friday-Monday.  This of course means that we are left with the parents room, and no place for the kitty.  We then began the mad dash to find a place for kitty to stay for the next 4 days.  I ask a few people, and Jon asked a few people, and finally at midnight, we found a place for kitty.  The friend may have been allergic, but she was willing to help a friend out.  So this morning, I wake up at 9, since check out is 11, and take a shower and tell Jon to begin packing.  At 10, my father comes in and informs us that we aren't getting kicked out of the hotel after all.  Yay. Such is hotel life.

And now I'm sitting in bed, with a bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles (DELICIOUS) which is entirely too large for my diet.  I am contemplating whether or not I am going to get out of bed and get a can of soda that is sold for 50% profit.  I am contemplating what I'm going to eat for lunch since I'm sick of the food at the bowling alley across the street, don't want to order a pizza since that's too much for me to eat (although, based on the bag of chips, it isn't impossible), I don't want to walk down to the food court because a mile is too far and I'm sick of the food there as well.  Such is hotel life.

And as I'm in bed thinking of food, I'm watching a documentary on the Australian Aborigines.  The guy has a unibrow, and messed up teeth, and incredible lack of boy scout common sense (driving through huge puddles of water, swimming in a stream of unknown depth, fire incompetence, etc).  But I'm still watching with incredible interest.  Did you know that the Aborigines still live there today and aren't just old people, but also younger people in their 20s? Such is hotel life.

Featured Randoms:
All my nagging paid off. . . I reached 25 fans yesterday on my facebook page, so now I have a short URL for my facebook page.  That doesn't mean you can't still "like" my facebook page! Facebook.com/anaveragealyssa is so easy to remember! Just do it. Have it your way. I'm lovin' it. MMMMM good.  Stay fresh. Other slogans I can't remember because I haven't been to the states in several years. :)

Accomplishments!

Blurb My Brain:

Hey! Hey! Hey! I have my first non-friend reader! Follower? Follower.  AND they blog too.  I have done some preliminary research, and they follow a bunch of blogs.  So there is NO way that they are following only me, since come on.  BUT...welcome Jillsmo! You are my first non-friend reader. *fireworks* *confetti* *balloons and horn sounds*

 But I also haven't found out how it ended up on hernanzdezrey's facebook, but that's ok too.  I'm just psyched that my stupid thoughts are being followed by someone other than a person I can say "HEY HEY! DID YOU READ MY BLOG!?" to. You know, if I were that lame.  Which I am.

Also in exciting news, I had a surprise job interview today.  It will be on the completely opposite side of the US from where we are moving to.  BUT. I think if I get this job, I'll have my first REAL job, with my first REAL chance of living in my own apartment.  I won't find out for a while (she said she is going to make the decision later this week, and then knowing how the government works, it will be next to two months before I start.  After trying since January to get a job, I'm pretty happy with finally getting this far in the process without the whole "sorry, you're not a veteran, sorry you live out of the area of consideration, sorry you are too young, sorry you don't have enough experience, sorry you do this job anyway but you aren't qualified" excuses coming up.

So, wish me luck, all 17 of you.  I need it.

Also, my facebook has 24 followers. . . so I only need ONE more fan to have my own nifty short URL.  Again, it won't mean much for you, but it means another accomplishment for me. So get thee to my facebook page, and "like" me today!

Monotony, how I hate thee

Blurb My Brain:
Guys, I think I'm going crazy.  I have been in this hotel room for the last.. ..11 hours. Ok, and I may have spent a fair 5 of that sleeping.  But I'm SO bored.  I don't want to be in the hotel room anymore! There's no food here, there's nothing to drink here, and I just want to sleep all the time but can't.
And fighting with the parents doesn't make it any better.  Instead of ranting about it on the internet for everyone (17 of you) to see, I'll just say it in words.  Words words words words words words words, words words words words words words words words words words words words, words words words words words words words words words words words words. WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS! Ok, so maybe more like days. BUT: Words words words words words words words words words words words, words words words words words words words words words. ESPECIALLY words words words words words words words words.

It's ridiculous.

Almost as ridiculous as the fact I just told you in words my anger.  It didn't fill you in on the story, but it made me laugh.  Isn't that what matters? Oh. Right. I suppose I AM here to please you 17 readers.  It isn't like I want to be world famous or anything. Right? Well regardless. I am insanely bored.  What do YOU do in a hotel room you are stuck in for 6 more days?

To help you out, I'll let you know that:
A: I don't really watch TV.  Except How I Met Your Mother, and Metalocalypse.  But Metalocalypse is only 10 minute episodes, so those go by SUPER FAST.  And we all know I can and HAVE spent days watching How I Met Your Mother, but I'm starting season 4, and need them to last the rest of the time until we get to our new home.
B: I play video games.  But, I don't play facebook games, because facebook is for socializing, not for annoying ads.  But with no xbox, or playstation in the room, I'm forced to play on my phone or on the laptop.  I just haven't had the time to stay up to date on the free games that will not kill the internet in the whole hotel.
C: I enjoy reading.  I was going to bring the start of a book series to start since I figure I'll have all the time in the world. But instead I somehow forgot it, and brought my MICROSOFT ACCESS book instead. Lame.  Not that I won't read that book, but I just...know it's lame to be sitting there immersed in a book about a software program
D: I enjoy writing. In fact, I even wrote a crappy fantasy love novel in high school about love and elves and dragons and stuff.  Similar to Eragon.  But more romance.  Maybe I can start adding to it, and making it less "and then they made out and stuff!" and a little more "then they slayed the troll!!"
E: I enjoy eating.  But I can't do so because I also enjoy being thin.  Since I have been in the hotel my pants are crazy loose, and basically falling off.

Anyway, any creative responses are welcome.  Let me know what you think!

You can even do so on my facebook page! But first you have to "like" it.

Hotel Talk, Like Bar talk, but with more naps

Blurb My Brain:

Seriously, I've only been in the hotel for like 3 days, and I already want to punch something.  I spent most of yesterday watching Patrick, but when I'm not doing that, I'm watching TV.  Or Napping.  Or surfing the internet and wishing someone of the 25 online friends I have on Facebook would chat me.  Or just continually checking facebook.  I'm literally not doing anything productive. But I think I may start playing that video game that I brought with me.  I bought Sacred 2 for the computer, and just haven't played it since I got here.  

HOWEVER: After talking about Recess yesterday, and last night at 930 RECESS TOTALLY came on the TV.  I was stoked.  It was one of the episodes I have seen a million times (where Gretchen gets to skip a grade), but it still made me fantastically happy.  

Speaking of cartoons though. What happened to the cartoons in the last few years??  Right now, I'm watching Phineas and Ferb.  This show is probably one of the better shows on television lately.  It mixes some adult humor in with great new vocabulary, and having great educational facts.  (After all, they have a pet platypus.) And who couldn't love a show where they frequently say touche.

But then, there's Chowder, which is retarded.  And Kick Buttowski, which is pretty bad as well.  American Dragon isn't bad, but it isn't good.  

Playtime!!!

Blurb My Brain:

Today Dad, Patrick, and I went on the hunt for a playground.  The area we are in has about 7 or 8 crappy little ones, (seriously, one had a 4 foot slide, a see saw and two rocking horses.) a couple ones with random stuff to climb on (I want to meet the designer who just put random spheres and cubes and cemented them to the ground of the playground and ask if he ever went to a playground), and then one fairly decent one.  The fairly decent one still was kinda crappy.  They took out the zipline (I know, right?!) and redid it with a bunch of random plastic and metal. . . things.  Seriously, look at some of the stuff on the playground:

 

On this one, the top part spins, and the bottom part is stationary.  Um. What are you supposed to do with this? Swing back and forth?

Ok this was actually fun.  It was kind of like a merry go round.  Except on a slant.  I rode on it with Patrick, and because of the momentum, I had to hold him so he didn't fall off, while making sure I myself  did not fall off.  But still. . the regular merry go round would have sufficed.

And then, there were random hills and valleys which obviously the only purpose was to provide entertainment when kids are running and they trip and fall.  Otherwise, why would you randomly stick two dips and a speed bump? (By the way, there were about 20 kids on this playground, and I saw three different kids wipe out on the SAME valley during a game of tag.)

Where are the cool old playgrounds? The hot slides, the rows of swings (this playground only had two), the hot rusty monkey bars? The merry go rounds that made it so you got a workout from pushing? What happened to the jungle gyms, where you could hang upside down on? (Does anyone remember the show "Recess?" 

Well, regardless, we still had fun.  Here's some videos of us playing. 

Daddy

Things We Say:
If you could trade your mom in for a chocolate bar, would you?--Dad
I am hungry too you know--Patrick

Tap water is optional--Me

So you, me and Josh. . making a sandwich man. . ..--Me as a joke to Maria
I already have a mexican.  It would therefore be a schnitzel taco.--Maria

Is that a guy or a girl?--Me
Yes--Josh

Yes is winking at me--Me

So did you lie to me then or are you lying to me now.?--Dad

Mom can't play guitar hero.  She can't strum and do the notes at the same time--Me
That's hard to do because it is two handed and separated.--Dad
Mom just doesn't have the hand eye coordination.--Me
I can hear you guys.  I am sitting RIGHT here.--Mom
God... Mom sucks at LIFE!--Me
She can't scratch her belly and pat her head at the same time!--Dad
*she tries and fails*

Blurb My Brain:
So we're in the hotel. Yay.  I'm actually really quite excited to be leaving.  I love Europe. But I have officially deemed this town Dramabaden.  I'm lying to you guys when I'm saying that I'm not hurting.  Every day I wake up, and he's not there. I go to the same places where so many memories were made with him, and he's not there. I'm staying in the same hotel as he did before we went to Montana.  The layout of the room is the EXACT same (despite being on diff floors) with the pictures and everything.  The point is, I miss him. I want him.  And no matter how much I pat myself on the back for making it through another day, I still know I'm waking up without him.  I can't wait until October, Readers. As he said, its only 1.66 months away. I am THAT close.

Featured Randoms:
There is a Daddy in my life. He is odd, funny, and supportive.  And he sometimes gets on my nerves, and I rarely agree with things he says.  But sometimes, usually when we're alone, he says some things that are hard for me to hear.  Not in a way like I am doing something bad and need to be set straight (he likes to do that as well. lol.) but because sometimes somethings that he says nearly makes me cry from happiness.  Twice on Saturday my daddy nearly made me cry. I really can't specify what was said, basically because real life drama would occur and I don't need drama where there is no drama.  The point is that I love my daddy, even if sometimes he yells at me or has stupid rules, or enforces a curfew for his 21 year old.  

And It Continued

Blurb My Brain:
It's such a weird feeling, this whole moving thing.  I think it makes you much more philosophical.  You start to appreciate things when everything you own is packed into 9 crates and hauled away into the sunset.  Well the sunset thing wasn't exactly what happened, but we still had 9 crates.  I probably had a crate to myself, but then I realized that all my belongings are not in just that one crate.  I still had crates back in St. Louis, from when we moved to Germany and stuff was put into storage for us.  So I began to philosophize about how much my perfectly average life is, well, perfectly average. I own a bunch of things, most of which I probably can do without.  In fact, I HAVE done without for the last 3 years.  This means I will more than likely end up throwing out a good chunk of whatever comes back from storage.

But when that time comes, I have a feeling it'll be like opening a time capsule.  I always wanted to do one of those.  I know it's corny and cliche, but I've always wanted to.  The problem is that I'm never in one spot long enough to do anything like that.  With my luck, I'd plan to do it, and then have no idea where to dig once the designated allotment of time has elapsed.  But regardless, I'm going to probably post a bunch of pictures and give you all (23 of you, based on my facebook fans.. . seriously, just head over there and click "like" if you haven't already) a detailed rundown of the most significant findings.

Which somewhat reminds me, I will be having limited internet access (the hotel has free internet with the network cable about 15 feet long...SCORE!) once we get seriously moving on the road trip.  Probably won't be updating very frequently, unless I can update from my phone at a McDonald's or something.  But still, I promise I will be keeping you up to date depending on the availability.

Did you guys know that I journal as well? Ok, not as frequently, since I've been blogging, but I do tend to journal.  I love it because as long as you have a pen, you have yourself a blog.  My Average Alyssa life is going to be very well documented for when I get famous for something I haven't figured out is my passion.  Besides talking about myself, which I do love to do, but unless I'm famous for something else, that won't make me famous. If you are still with me, you deserve a gold medal.

Featured Randoms:
In case you were wondering, one of the first things that made me think of the Time Capsule aspect for Blurbing, is that I found some OLD pictures whilst moving.  I was going to take a bunch of pictures, and then show you how incredibly dorky I was in high school and middle school, but I got busy, and didn't do so.  BUT. I did take one photo.  It was when I graduated Kindergarten.  I'll commentate after the cuteness.

Yep. That's Me. I'm A-OK!

I forgot what the name of my school was... I know it was Oak...something.  I have a hard time remembering it because my rival high school was Oakville, but I'm pretty sure it was Oakland.  So the OK stood for Oakland Kindergarten.  I refuse to think of it as such though.  I definitely was OK to move on in the world.  And the other kids at other schools with the other 25 letters of the alphabet were doomed from the start.  So if you went to an "O" school, and your kindergarten also made your caps to brand you as "OK" then kudos for being dorky.  

The other thing is, LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT! How ADORABLE! I was one cut scene away from a Sailor Moon episode! I want my daughter that I haven't had yet or may possibly never have to wear something JUST as adorable, so that when she's 21, and. . . technologically sharing with the world...she can have something to D-AWWWWWWWWW at as well. :)

And So it begins

Things We Say:
I like that pizza place. They have good tea.--Patrick
I didn't know that you drank tea--Me
Ugh, I don't. But I like it just as much as I like lollipops.--Patrick
Do you like chocolate as much as you like the lollipops?--Me
I like the chocolate as much as I like the lollipops and the tea.--Patrick
I love how he loves the tea but doesn't drink it.  HAH.  And I also love how he forms full sentences.

Ok. We are going to the Pizza place.  Where did you park?--Patrick
I sold my car, sweetheart.  We're going to walk to the pizza place--Me
ugggh, we don't have to walk to the pizza place! It's too far!
But, it's right across the street!
Oh. That pizza place is good.  We don't need to drive there. We can just walk
This is the environmentally conscious four year old that freaks out if you throw something in the wrong recycling. He cracks me up!

*humming and then suddenly stops* Dad, I love you.--Patrick
I may have been the only one that heard this.  But it is still adorable.

Patrick! You don't blow! You just suck--Dad to Patrick (about the straw in the soda).
Sorry, I'm a perv.

Lobster food! *tickles via pinching*--Patrick
Patrick has this way of animal. . . everything-ing.  He does snake kisses (hiss and then kiss), and recently it is telling you that you are Lobster Food and then tickling the crap out of you.  It's great!


Patrick! Get some pants on!--Me to brother Patrick
*confused look*--Patrick, the mover
No, the younger one! Sorry!--Me

See what Patrick wants from Subway--Dad
He always gets the ham and cheese--Mom
No! The OTHER Patrick--Dad
More fun with the fact he had the same name.

Where are we going?--Patrick
(Our address in German)--Dad
Oooh! Alyssa, post that on facebook!--Patrick, the brother. 
HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT FACEBOOK IS!?! Ok, so it's that he sees it on the home screen when he is trying to get to sesame street.com. But still, as a 4 year old who knows that you POST stuff on there?! Crazy.

Blurb My Brain:  
So normally, a family of five, you would figure has a ton of stuff.  That means to pack all their stuff in two days, you should really send an army of packers.  We had one. One sole packer.  His name was also Patrick. It led for some interesting sentences. But Patrick worked hard. He worked from 7am til nearly 8pm, with just a few 10 minute breaks in between.  And he got the living room, the hallway, the parent's bedroom, and the bathroom all packed up.  I think that moving is when you realize just how much CRAP you have.

Crap. Lots of crap. 

And this is only half of the room! The other half looks like this!

Note that I am at the edge of where the sofa is.  And it is all packaged up as well.

I hope that my room isn't as crazy filled with crap.  

Featured Randoms:

These are all pictures I took in the last 24 hours. See if you can find what's funny about them. But I'm going to tell you why I found them funny as well.  

I swear the people in my town just DON'T KNOW HOW TO PARK!!!!!!

 More views from random crazy countries. 

Awwwwz Kitty cat was tired from the moving too.  Actually, he was scared for a while from the sound of the tape. But then he came upstairs to my room and did what the rest of us (besides the teenage brother) wanted to do.  

 Most.Awkward.Logo.EVAR!

 I call Shenanigans.  There is no way she was only eating Taco Bell.  And if she was, she was eating off the Fresco menu, which doesn't count.  

GAH! Say that Title outloud.  "Cilantro works better than an prescription." AN PRESCRIPTION.  And if that isn't bad enough, proven 100% better than anti-biotics? I'll take the biotics. Fricken crock of shit.

So this person can park illegally.  Because two no parking signs makes a right. . . . Right? I say give them double tickets. Muahahahahahha. KEIN PARKPLATZ! (that's kind of an inside joke between my parents and I, because we always want to yell that at the people who park RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR DOOR, and anyone who has EVER been to Seton Hall after the Boland fire KNOWS is a CLEAR FIRE HAZARD!) But at least he parked decently. 

Moving and such

Blurb My Brain:
You know what would make this move more stressful? Not having movers come to pack everything.  I have been in a frenzy (note: not a panicked frenzy, because I'm not that worried) sorting out what I'm keeping and what I'm throwing.  But you, regular reader, know that already because you read my post pertaining to this very subject. Anyway, besides selling my car (CHECK!) and sorting out what I'm keeping and throwing (CHECK!), all I really had to do was pack a suitcase of clothes that I'm going to be wearing for the next month (Check like 2 weeks ago. . . !).  So I just got done Spackle-ing the walls, from my million holes (lol) from my pictures.  And somehow I am just EXHAUSTED.  I don't think that the level of exhaustion matches proportionally to that of the work I have done.

Also, I found out that I can't ship my personalized Heineken bottle with the alcohol still in it. :( Boo.  So I am going to open it and drink it, and be sad as I think of how I ruined my souvenir.  Which of course, will remind me that it's a souvenir and not just an awesome beer bottle.  Which of course, will remind me of the trip to Amsterdam I took with Boyfriend, and the tour we took of the Heineken museum.  That's what souvenirs do, you know? They REMIND you of things.  Ok, so I'm being entirely too dramatic.  But it does make me just a wee bit sad.

See?

A realization has been made

Blurb My Brain:
There comes a time, in every military...whatever's s/he's-gone-experience when you realize that you've become a little too familiar with the whole "I don't have to keep up my appearance" mindset.  What I will not do is give you the benefit of knowing just how disgusting I am, but I will tell you that while I was looking at my hairy legs (crap, I just told you) I thought of a list of things that get neglected when they are gone.

1. Legs.--suddenly, your razor and legs are no longer on speaking terms.  After all, your significant other isn't there to see you.  And Chewbacca syndrome will scare off any potential threats to the relationship. . . or it should.  That's when you realize you have no idea when you last shaved.
2. Underarms--ok, so you shave these much more regularly than the legs.  Afterall, you can't go in public in a tank top with an afro under there. 
3. Hair on the top of your head--had to clarify cause you know, the other two were about hair as well.  I have let my hair go wild, wash it and let it dry without brushing, ignoring that I need a haircut, and over all, just being lazy.  
4. Showering--I still shower. Just not as much.  I don't have to worry about greasy hair if I'm not going to bump into him at the store unexpectedly.  So instead of showering 2 times a day (after the gym as well), I showered once a day (after the gym), but now I'm showering every other day. Come on, I sit at home doing nothing.  I'm not getting dirty, and I'm not even sweating because Germany's July this year is fricken 60 degrees.  
5. Clothing--I definitely wear more tee shirts.  I think the only time I dress normally is when I leave the house in a "I'm going drinking" way.  
6. Makeup--missing since my birthday. 
7. Teeth--I still brush them, but I floss less. And that scares me. I made a mental note to start flossing every day. 

So there you have it.  Boyfriend's gone, and I turn into a less hygienic version of me.  

I Have A Confession to Make

Things We Say:
No one blames Hope Solo, she played her sexy ass off--Kevin
One of my favorite "it's ok we lost" statuses from last night.

It's a quarter to one, I'm all alone and I need you know. . . Thinking of my sweetheart and how much I miss his face.  Ok. So I miss his body, and his warmth, but his face is nice too.  lol. Wish you were here, Boyfriend.
I miss my boyfriend.

"You should've come with us"
"Well, inviting me would've helped"
This just made me laugh

Why are they wearing those stupid hats?--Ashley
Do I look like the guy that gets the hourly update on why people are wearing stupid hates?!--Michael
These are the kind of fights I was talking about Ashley and Michael having in one of my previous posts.

First Pear Harbor... Now this? FUCK YOU JAPAN!!--Pepe
Another one of my favorite soccer statuses.

Never fails: come home to pack/clean, waste time on the internet. >.< --Steph
Yeah, that's basically what the two days that I took off to sell my car were like. LOL.

Do not pity the dead, pity the living and above all, those who live without love.--Rachel
I know it's stolen, but I don't have the time to look up who it is actually attributed to.  Sorry. . .Edit:[TheReadingBear submitted a comment saying that Dumbledore had said this.  Thanks for the update!]

"Loving you is like praising the God who made you so special." I just found this written inside a card from my man, written many months ago--Leslie
D-AWWWWWWW. My man sends me sweet messages like this, but usually are more funny and simple. <3

whoever called me at 2:24am is lucky I didn't hear my phone!  I would have killed them through the phone!! and whoever wants money from me:  can't help! Plus, I don't even know who you are!--Maria
lol. Maria makes me laugh. Good thing it wasn't me who called.

scratch here  ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status--Jeff
this was one of the more creative statuses that I've seen lately.

if I don't click "Try it Now" or "Hide this" on the new chat bar, will it eventually go away like the exboyfriend I completely ignored as well?--Me
you know, the new chat bar sucks. Google+ +1. Facebook -1

I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon, but I want to STAY ALIVE--Corey's mom
This made me laugh as well. ;)

Just ran a red light because I thought it was a stop sign--Jay
I LOVED THIS QUOTE!

Why doesn't superman have a big "M" in his logo? Isn't "Super" more like a prefix? This shit keeps me up at night.--Deadmau5
Deadmau5 hasn't been showing up on my newsfeed lately, and I don't know why.  I keep missing awesome quotes like this until I see it when I log into facebook as my page.

I hate the human race.  We're just a virus with shoes--Matthew
Interesting visual.  Anyone else picture us as Jabba the Hut?

had fun tonite...but nothing better than coming back to my bed with my beautiful wife laying there waiting for me to fall asleep with her--Juan
another D-AWWWWWWWWWWW!

I'm not a troll, I'm a fairy!--Dad, talking about being a Euro fairy to my mom.  
Lol. I'm a very fantasy person.. this made me more than giggle.

*orc voice*  work work work--Boyfriend
WoW for those that don't know. I <3 My boyfriend.

"repairo Hogwarts" is what Harry should have done with the elder wand.  Idiot.--Natalie
It's actually been so long since I read the books, that this is kind of a spoiler for me. lol.  Still funny though.

I just smoked so many different kinds of weed I don't really know what to do.  well, haha--Frankie
While I do not support drug usage of any kind, (and yeah yeah "Pot's not a drug" "alcohol's a drug" blah blah blah) this made me think. . . I had to try and decipher what I thought he was saying. LOL  Also, I think it is rather stupid to post your drug usage on the internet. Dumb.

Blurb My Brain:
So I have a confession to make. While I am really upset that the US Women's World Cup Soccer Team lost last night, I am partially happy that Japan won.  Whew, I said it.  And my reasoning is that of a slight socialist.  I mean, come on guys, We've won two (1991 [the first.  That's an accomplishment alone], and 1999) and Japan hasn't won any.  So let the girls of Japan enjoy their win!

Also, side confession:  I didn't watch a single game until the final, and the US won most of the games.  I have been to a ton of sporting events in my life, and I have to say that the team I'm rooting for RARELY wins.  I think maybe 4 games has the team I've been rooting for won in.  So that's my confression: I'm a game killer. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I am a Ginger and I steal souls and therefore I suck all the good luck and life out of the team I'm rooting for, or if my mere presence strikes unknowing fear and bad-playing-ness in the home team.  Either way, US losing last night against the Japanese girls was totally my fault.

So don't blame Hope Solo, or any of the shots that Abby Wambach missed when she didn't use her head (isn't THAT comical?).  It was your friendly neighborhood Ginger, watching it on a screen in a crowded bar.

Featured Randoms:
I have a couple featured Randoms for you today, and I wouldn't be An Average Alyssa the Alcoholic if it weren't alcohol.  Apparently, sweet tea has been popular lately.  Boyfriend loves it and demands Lindsay send him some.  Already made. lol.  But now, like most things used by adults, alcohol has been infusing itself with Sweet Tea. (Ok, so ANOTHER confession...one time me and two friends went to the beach and we TOTALLY put some vodka in the raspberry tea bottle and drank it and it was awesome.  Point is, it isn't really a new thing.) I just haven't seen it seen Tea sold with ALCOHOL ALREADY IN IT. And that is crazy to me my friends.

The next is about Craigslist.  You know, those classified ads which are often boring but sometimes you get lucky and stumble upon a REALLY hilarious and often VERY legitimate advertisement which just makes you laugh?  Well, apparently this club needs new dancers, and haven't had any luck hiring. I do kind of feel bad for Steve though. ;)

That last post was totally irrellevant

Blurb My Brain:
So literally 2 minutes after I posted that last post, Boyfriend came on facebook and said he'd Skype with me in ten minutes. So I got to talk to him and I'm super happy.

 I realized that I have not called him by his real name thus far. At first I was a little shocked. I mean I've been blogging for a good 7-8 months, and been blogging steadily for the last two months. Then I thought about it, and I'm going to keep calling him by his title, and not his name.  Maybe one day, I'll reveal to you his real name.  PS: Family/Boyfriend/Friends, I get comment emails so I WILL KNOW if you spoil this. lol.  But seriously, unless he dumps me, or we get married, and his title therefore changes, I would like to keep him incognito.  Plus, my family always said I should be more internet secure. LOL. So blogging you know totally fits that. And facebook page as well. But whatever, I actuallly wanted to talk about him, without the name.  I figure it helps with the random (England, Russia, Sri Lanka, Peruvian) readers form a better mental picture of him.  I could just post a few pictures, but that's not going to happen. Maybe in due time. I still feel like you need a better description, and if you want, you can skip to the VERY last line, and see it in summary. ;)

So. Boyfriend.  In Baseball Card form.Well, my version of it.
Name: Boyfriend Lastname.

Nicknames: Beer, babe, dear, honey, my love, baby

Age: Mine + a few.

Weight: Normal. (He used to claim he was husky, but we've been working out, so we both have changed)

Hair Color: brown

Eye color: icy blue. Yummy.

Teeth: unaltered. Often dentist is mad because Boyfriend has "a boring mouth" to work on.

Likes: Funny YouTube videos, snowboarding, farting, doeners, travelling, beer.  

Dislikes: Paperwork, drama, gossip.

Special talent: quick thinking, and making me laugh.

Annoying habits: THE LIST! 

Catch phrases: awesome!, word, holy schnikes, achso, stimmt, natuerlich. 

Horoscope: Aries.

There are no words to describe how he makes me feel though after a conversation. Often, the randomness is what I thrive off of.  As a Gemini, I need someone who is intellectual enough to keep up with me, and quick witted enough to make it so I'm not getting bored waiting for a reply.  Sadly, (or not if you are Boyfriend) he has a couple years on me, so he often has much better replies than I can think of.  But, we still thrive off of each other's creativity, and that's what makes our conversations so amazing to me. :)

In short, he's amazing.

Self Loathing

Blurb My Brain:
All I know is that I actually am starting to hate the weekends.  The drinking (btw, had absinthe for the first time!) sucks, the men are WORSE, the karaoke is fun (NOOOOOOO!!!!), but I just don't feel like this weekend stuff.  And you know what? I am officially unemployed.  That means that every day is a freaking weekend for me until I find a job. This is means for the next month and a half, I am going to hate life more than ever. 

The only stellar thing about the weekend is Skyping with the boyfriend.  And I messed that up for the week. I didn't set a time and get a confirmation beforehand.  So you, readers are my replacement.

You're sucking so bad at this.

But seriously, I had wanted to talk to him, because talking to him makes my week.  And since I only get to talk to him once a fricken week, that's kind of a big deal.  I wanted to talk to him about my going away party, the assholes that prey on women, how the last day of work was, which songs I so badly messed up on stage last night, how I managed to roll over my toe, and everything else.  But I messed it up, by being a drunken mess and not messaging him about it sooner.  I am SO angry at myself right now.

Actually, just so you are aware, this will be the only time I miss a conversation of the week.  20 weeks of weeks so far and I hadn't messed up.  Yeah.  So maybe that's it.


Back to my depression/sleeping off the hangover. Night. 

Hey Hey Hey. It's my last day. Hey Hey Hey

Things We Say:
You don't understand, I don't fight. I'm a Civil Engineer.  We're too civil to start fights.--Kyle

Some advice for me since I'm having twin boys: Don't let it happen again.--Nicole at her shower.

I think I'll buy each of you a bottle of wine on September 1st, and then you'll be able to get through the start of the fiscal year.--George
I'm gonna be honest right now, and tell you that a bottle of wine won't last me 30 days--Vanessa

Just saw that scum-ball jeweler who sold us our first (defective) ring got arrested for fraud after fleeing the police. Karmas a bitch and you totally deserve your punishment!!! >:P :D --Brittany

Corby told Bryan "dad I'm gonna screw you up" then came at him with a toy drill I about peed my pants laughing--Mandi

Finally getting tickets today, and making appointments for the movers to come. Well thats what my husbands doing anyway. Me however, not so much. lol--Morgan

Facebook. Stop stalking me. My four ads today were: 1. Singles and looking 2. Find a girlfriend 3. Tower Defense Video Game 4. Buy this video game controller.  As if my whole life revolves around finding women and video games...Ok, maybe it does.--Matthew

Matthew is in a relationship with My Hand and it's complicated.--Matthew

Movers have been here for an hour and Michael doesn't know where his keys are...of course.--Ashley

Wow! You beat us. We were supposed to have them here Wed through today, but with the assignment hiccup it's been moved to next week. I hope they didn't pack the keys!!! :0)--My mom

He found them..lol..seeing everything in boxes made me realize we have a lot more stuff than I thought.--Ashley

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh
and creates a foamy liquid as it thrust's
in and out
up and down
cant wait till next time..
GOD i love my toothbrush--Shannon....don't worry, my mind was in the gutter too.

Blurb My Brain:

Well folks, I made it.  It is my last day at work.  Want to know what I did? Brought in my shredding. Began shredding. Decided forget this shredding stuff, and dumped it into the burn box.  Helped set up a baby shower.  Sat through baby shower.  Came upstairs, and facebooked. And now I'm blogging! I can totally leave in an hour, but I think I'm actually going to stay until 4 or 5 today.  Crazy, since it's my last day, and I don't particularly have to be here. 

It's a weird feeling though.  I have been working here for a year and a half, and maybe I am crazy, but I feel like I should be coming into work on Monday.  Granted, on Monday I will be de-registering my car and selling it to my German friend.  And after that I agreed to somehow get on the morning radio show.  BUT, I just feel like even though I haven't really done any work in the last two weeks (what a NICE paycheck that is, when you think about it), I just feel like I should be here to do more.  I guess I have a problem with letting go.  I have a hard time letting my projects be turned over to others. I just don't want him to fail and mess up what I have already done.  Oh well. 

I am super ready for moving though. Gah! Can't wait.  :)

Wasting Away

Things We Say:
Hey Aly, Law and Order SVU is on!--Dad
Alright! I'll be down never!--Me

Flip flops.... such an American thing to do.--Jonathan, the 15 year old
Jon, you are retarded. These sandals are German--Me
But it's an American thing to wear.--Jon
She's not American, she's not American...*continues pointing out the next 12 Germans wearing flip flops*--Me
But they've just adopted it!--Jon, failing miserably
She's not American, she's not American....*pointing at the old ladies walking by in flip flops*--Me, clearly winning the argument

I should have stayed home playing Age of Empire and kicking the Celts ass because right now Guinness and Whiskey are kicking MY ass.--Jazzy

Every time I'm on the 7 train, someone tries to sell me something.  #NO #atleastitsnotdrugs #donttalktomeif--Greg

building a pillow fort around myself, i wish i had someone to build pillow forts and sheet forts with me.--Becky

Worms don't fight.  They're peaceful, loving people.  They have five hearts.--Dean

Damn, more like Tom Marvolo Sexy..I don't care what you say, 16 year old Voldemort can riddle my chamber any day.. Yeah, I went there.. :] #ChamberCheck

Blurb My Brain:
So I took today and yesterday off of work, because I thought that the movers were going to be here.  I was of course wrong, but again, things happen.  But, regardless, the plan originally was to kick some laundry monsters' ass, and clean the room to where it doesn't disgust even me.  But, alas, we had errands to run, and (crap. be right back.....i just realized i had laundry waiting for me) and by the time I got home, I was grammar policing Boyfriend's paper and eating dinner.

I had added a bunch of people on facebook from my high school.  I figured its been three years since we graduated, some are married already (a lot of whom I thought should have stayed single), a great number are engaged, and quite a few have happy lives and all.  I'm not going to say that my life is unhappy, cause it's not.  I am just saying that these people got me thinking about how much life can change.  In three years, I have gone to college and flunked out-ish, moved to Europe, and traveled all over Germany, France, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Austria, and Luxembourg, and I have found love in the most unlikely of places (my dad's office. lol).  I have also lost a bit of weight, gotten into shape, kicked some bad habits, started some more, and have conditioned my liver.  I have made friends with Germans, Dutch, and Turkish, and learned how to speak German.  All in two years time.

Now I'm returning to the States, and I wonder what kind of adventures I am going to face next.  How much can I do in the next chapter of my life? What can I see? Who will I meet? What will I do that I will regret? What will I NOT do that I will regret?

Sadly, it will probably just be a lot of job hunting and homework.  But still, the anticipation excites me.

In the meantime, I'm just wasting away in these next 19 days I am here.  I am just cleaning and cleaning and drinking and cleaning.  Then it's driving and driving and driving.

The only benefit I am looking at is that when I land, I'll have 2 months until I see Boyfriend again.  And when we finally find a house and move in, I'll only have 1 month until I see Boyfriend.  And by the time I unpack, school will start, and I'll be seeing Boyfriend.

I miss him, Readers. I miss him in ways I didn't know were possible. I'd gotten over the sex (Sorry parents!) , and I just miss his presence. I miss picking up his apartment, or nagging him to take me to Taco Bell.  I miss the glow of his TV that kept me up for many nights when we first started dating.  I miss headbanging in the car with him.  I miss the smell of his farts when we're in the car, and his immediate giggling because he felt like he'd done something to annoy me.  I miss him annoying me. lol. I miss his jokes about my hair around his apartment, and my jokes about him losing his.  I guess that's what people don't tell you when you start out being a military....whatever.  They don't tell you that the long distance is hard because of the lack of intimacy (Sorry AGAIN parents).  I just feel like I'm wasting away without him here to share my life with. Gah. Now I'm crying. Evil fucking emotions. I HAVE NO SOUL SO I HAVE NO EMOTIONS! lol.  You don't believe me, and you shouldn't.

Happy Birthday, by the way

Things We Say:
So my ex actually went to a coke party instead of celebrating my birthday with me--Andy
That does actually sound like more fun than a birthday party--Me, forgetting that it was his birthday
Gee, thanks.--Andy
Happy birthday, by the way--Me (this was the original version)

You guys are mean. I'm going to cut myself now. Crap! this butterknife is too dull--Andy
Waiter, we need a sharper knife!--Kevin
Happy birthday, by the way--Me

SMACK!--*Kevin and Andy fist bump*
You really pounded him hard, Kevin. Happy birthday, by the way--Me

So I remember this one time when....--Andy
PAUSE! Kevin, you like GLEE!?--Me
Well yeah, I mean, its the hot girls, and the --Kevin
*commence Gleeking on their part (that just sounds dirty)*
*lean and whisper* Do realize I just got him completely off track?--Me to Kevin
Watch this--Hey Andy, you can continue your story now....--Kevin
*brain gears locking*--Andy
Happy Birthday, by the way--Me and Kevin

Blurb My Brain:
So what do you do, when a close-acquaintance-but-not-too-close-of-a-friend has a birthday, and demands you get him/her a gift? Well, I hit the dollar section, and just grab something that will fit in a small bag.  Then get a small gift card to go along with it.  ie: rubber-ducky loufa, exercise resistance band/cables, and a $10 gift card to the food court.

Optional: insulting them for the rest of the night.  Last night was kind of like that.  It was Andy's birthday, and so he and Kevin and I went to the Mediterranean restaurant next to the bar.  Had some good laughs, and most of which are listed in the Things We Say. We also had a nice time insulting him, and remembering it was his birthday.  But Karaoke afterwards, I sang (did i mention how much I hate it?!) a song for Boyfriend by the Cure called Love Song (I don't hate that song, just karaoke).  It was great, because I told the audience yet again to get some ear plugs.  Revolving jokes man.

Also, if for some reason, just by chance, I happen to become Ray William Johnson famous. . . .don't try super hard to make it on my blog. ;) You know who you are.  But seriously, if we are hanging out and you HAPPEN to say something funny, believe me I WILL write it down, and you will be quoted eventually.

Just don't tell me: "THAT needs to go on the blog" because then it won't.  Unless you know that now, and you say that to cover up something embarrassing.

Featured Randoms:
So, as I have mentioned a few times before, I have a facebook page.  You should like it.  Unless you already like it, in which case liking it again would make you unlike it.  That's not good mojo.  BUT, if you HAVEN'T liked it, feel free to head on over there and click "like" at the top next to my name. And while you're at  it, click Share and tell your friends how ridiculous I am and how much I suck at life and they should "like" my page as well.  See, I have 19 "likes" so far, and at 25, I'll have my OWN USERNAME! This just saves everyone a couple steps in finding my page again.  :P

Also, the other thing that I was going to feature besides myself, is that you can EMAIL me! Gasp! This helps if you want to tell me something funny, or something that makes you mad, or something you think should be in the Featured Randoms section.

Such as Google+.  I know, I'm ONE OF THEM.  But seriously, g+ is pretty stellar. Stellar enough to use the word stellar.   I see some serious potential for this thing, it just needs some more to switch over.  After all, it is powered by google.  Who uses yahoo for anything but mail anyway? I like it, and I think  you will too.  If you want an invite, look on your facebook page. . . . cause someone probably has some invites around. ;) I am NOT giving you guys my personal email. Sorry.

Life, Love, and the Persuit of Education

Things We Say:
Bumping into friends while you’re out and about is one of the best parts of going out and about. With Hangouts, the unplanned meet-up comes to the web for the first time. Let buddies know you’re hanging out and see who drops by for a face-to-face-to-face chat. Until we perfect teleportation, it’s the next best thing. --Google about google+

 

Email receipts are much better than paper.--Jake

 

what if the coach possessed the authority to eject an umpire--Eric

 

Water heater in our house is out for the next couple weeks. So it's cold showers for now... Any good lookin' ladies wanna share their shower with me? =)--Matthew

I missed out on free slurpees at 7/11. So, I bought alcohol to celebrate everything that has happened to me this fine night :] YAY--Becky

alcohol > slurpees--Me

So be still and know He's in control, He will never let you go.--Alli.  This quote is religious, but I liked it.

 

WHERE'S MY WIIFFEEEE?!?! :)--Christy

did you check the back of your hand? or the kitchen?--her friend Cameron

and if you're looking for your husband, check the bottom of the toilet.. and if you find him, close the lid..--her friend Amanda

 

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. Oh, don't mind me. I'm just being a woman.--Carolin

 

Every skank I know is named after a beverage or weather phenomenon. Yea, I'm talking about you Daiquiri Storm.--Carolin

i totally agree I know a girl I can't stand named after cheap nasty ass pop..shasta..fucking skank hoe!--Britni

but shasta cream soda is good. (mental image not so much. lol)--Me

haha...yea...after meeting her i can never look at a can of shasta the same way again lol--Britni

 

Blurb My Brain:

So I have a feeling a majority of my fan base is in college.  I can/probably be/am wrong on this, but I talk about things that are related to me, and since I am a college student I assume that you are also a college.  Yes you, reader.  So I was talking to Boyfriend, and he was talking to me about whether or not he should take a history class now (and have it overlap when I see him) or in November (after I see him).  This has little to do with the story, besides me wishing I had the ability to just not take classes. 

See, my healthcare is conditional on me being enrolled full time.  And because of the move, I didnt' want to take any classes over the summer becuase I wasn't sure someone could proctor my exam.  Besides, who wants to sit at a computer and take an exam, when you're chilling at the lake house, or with family? So I thought, alright, I'll wait until we get to where we are going.  (At the time, we thought it was Spokane.  Not so much anymore. Typical.) But now we don't know where we are going, and therefore I feel that this is going to mess me over in the end.

 

Also, if I don't take classes, I start owing on my loans.  As a former student of Seton Hall University and a current student of UMUC, this is a scary scary thought.  I am in my third year of school, and have close to $60,000 in debt.  Talk about monthly payments! So, I MUST go to school.  Even if I don't like what I'm doing.  And I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I must continue to move towards classes of SOME kind.  Afterall, I'm unemployed in 3 days.

 

So I told Boyfriend, school actually scares me. He ignored this to tell me how close he was to his degree, which is perfectly acceptable.  We have a way of doing that. It's almost "our thing."

Perfect segway into what ELSE I wanted to talk about.  Every couple has their thing. Maria and Chris have tattoos, Ashley and Michael have bickering over senseless things like Xbox, Jill and Gary have "I just wanted sex but I guess since we're married it's alright" playful banter, Sarah and Zachary have nerdiness, Michelle and Richie have tattoos and rock music, and Boyfriend and I have fart jokes, youtube, and rock music.  It's often funny to see what "thing" couples around you have. Its something that I really enjoy observing. Especially because it isn't immediate.  You actually DEVELOP these things. You start to enjoy the same things and then they become "your" things.  That, my dear 17 readers, is magical.  Developing together as a couple is fairytale quality stuff. So if you have a "thing" with your girl/boyfriend, then congrats, Cinderella or Beast.

Acceptable Replacement Time

Things We Say:

still can't believe her stolen stuff from Bonnaroo got recovered and it arrived today. it smells like sunscreen and great music.--kate

saw sign that read: DO ONE THING A DAY THAT SCARES YOU. so today i start raping coyotes...also going back to work after two weeks of vacation. but mostly the coyote thing.--Lio

i don't know if it's the beautiful weather outside or the coke i just snorted, but i feel as giddy as someone who's just snorted coke!--Lio

None of your ancestors was a virgin.--The Book of Awesome

Laundromat tonight to wash EVERYTHING we own! yay! Much better than the 2 hour death machine.--Ashley

Yeah I gotta stop fooling myself and get off of my lazy behind. Gotta get a lot done today. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. And actually, it's not even that.--Carolin

so since I got to korea I have lost 18lbs. Must be all those rindswurst that im craving right now--Boyfriend
Don't lie... its that new Kim Chi binge-purge diet.--Bill
since you've left I've lost 15 pounds. . . . must be the doeners I am no longer eating. --Me to Boyfriend

Lindsay is a ROCKSTAR!!!--her status
Do the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap?--me

;:) yay raised eyebrow in smiley form.--Josh

On a More positive note My neck hurts a lot................Because my Brain is so big! --Shannon

Found a ladybug that is black and has red spots in her bedroom this morning? Is that good luck? --Tascha

I think i'm in love with Hope Solo--Andy, and about every other male I know right now.

MAR
GAR
EEE
TAHS--Emilie

got THE BEST birthday card from mommy and daddy today... the outside says "No one can fill a daughter's shoes." inside: "After all, she has so many."... i love it --Michele

Some peoples gene pools need a chlorine bomb!!--Leslie


Watching my **WILD** backyard. Fall is near when the deer start eating the apples. --Aunt Tara

Hahahahahahaha! Cameron: "have you ever seen that movie the incredible Mr. Fox? It's the putty puppets movie." Me: "do you mean Claymation?" Roflmao @ putty puppets!!!--Leslie

Dear ants. MY CAR IS NOT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HOME! I will kill you all. I hate you, liz--Liz... duh?


Do me a favor an never talk to me again. Don't leave comments or messages! Better yet delete me off your friends list >:[ I can't deal with you anymore I'm sorry. My dentist told me to stay away...from people as sweet as you. Haha! Post this to the wall of your favorite people. Hehe...(: --Brittany.

Now in Trieste, Italy. Hotter than two rats having sex in a wool sock here.--Fred Durst

Blurb My Brain:

You know how in the real world, you get a replacement in, and they are all wide eyed and starry and stuff? Well, when do their eyes reduce to normal size? When is an adequate time for them to be a decent replacement? How long does it take for them to be good enough that you aren't going to feel like they are going to fuck everything up?

See, my replacement has been there for nearly two weeks, and I don't feel like he is going to have a handle on the situation after I leave. He asks me the same few questions, which is fine, because by all means ask away.  Maybe it's that I've been perfecting my system and managing my workload successfully for the last year and a half, and he just doesn't grasp it.  Maybe he just feels overwhelmed with everything.

But I forsee this whole system failing.

And that leaves me with a bittersweet feeling, because it means that I know my bosses will say "Man I wish we found that way to keep her here for those additional X months" but then I remember how much time, effort, and planning I put into that process and seeing it destroyed would make me go crazy.  So how long does it take YOU AS A REPLACEMENT, to get the hang of something? I think it took me a month, and then I spent the rest of the year perfecting it. 

Featured Randoms:

As a military....whatever.... this link infuriated me. Who is to say that military women cheat? Who is to say that they have to be unfaithful to their . . . whatevers.  I know I am not unfaithful.  I know my mother is not unfaithful.  I know my father is not unfaithful.  I know my friend Shannon is not unfaithful. . . and many many more.  So this right here, this is my public annoyance with the military. . . whatever stereotypes.  Stop the lies, stop the rumors, get a life, and mind it. Stop attacking the military's biggest support group. Asshats.

 Also, don't forget to "like" my facebook page!

International Beer Fest conversations

Things We Say:

Did I hear you just say Penis beer? I want some penis beer--Me
You've had penis beer, don't lie to me.--Maria

You should take the icebreakers candy out of your ear.  Is it making you hear fruity?--Me
No but it's making everything sound gay--Baker

Hey, he's not short.  It's all relative, man.  You are not short compared to that bar stool--Tony about Baker

Your nickname is Einstein because its all relative--Tony
No, he's not that smart, so it's Keinstein--maria

When he talks, all I hear is wah wah wah.--Jorge
I AM NOT CHARLEY BROWN'S TEACHER!

I can't believe the only high I've had was meditation.  This [alcohol] is just fun.--Tony

*Singing to Kama Chameleon* I am a man . . --Tony
No you're not!--Baker

You must be drunk if you are singing the black eye peas.  Sober people just don't do that--Baker

I'm sitting here listening to Reggae and thinking about how the world doesn't have enough love in it.  It takes so much more energy to hate than it does to laugh alongside your enemies.  Love people. Love--Me, clearly hanging around the hippie too much.

There's a girl here who looks like Adam Lambert but with boobs--Me

I am sexually frustrated, and frustrated about sex!-Me

Blurb My Brain:

People are stupid. This woman in particular.

So this lady parks absolutely terrible, and I decided to park next to her. I get out and she tells me that she can't get into her car. I tell her she parked too far over to the left, and that she should repark her car. She then tells me she has a kid (meaning she's pregnant) and she can't repark her car. Oh. Excuse me. I didn't know that Pregnancy rendered your parking skills useless. So as you can see, I moved my car but not after revving my engine multiple times while backing out. I can't wait to get out this country. And I mean this in a "so that I can finally yell at you in my native tongue and not have to worry about your pity case.  No, stupid lady.  you are wrong.  You should repark your damn car.  And if I had the ability to call the police on you, you can bet I would.  Pregnant. Bah! 

Featured Randoms:

So today is going to be a bunch of random pictures from my iPhone.  Deal with it.  But you know, I take a lot of random pictures, and I find them funny, so why would I NOT upload them to my blog?

 I seriously am going to throw all of this into the recycling.  I can't believe just how much I had stashed.  I am a total pack rat. :(

Typical sunset outside the bowling alley. Gorgeous. 

Bowling Alley onion rings that are the size of my fist, lightly battered and then fried.  Almost as good as funnel cakes. Almost.  

My only kisses I've been giving in the 4 months that Boyfriend has been gone.  I thought this was a cute if not slightly creepy picture. 

Death in a bottle hot sauce. Not the same kind of hot sauce mentioned in previous post. lol. 

Ingredients: Death, Spicy Death, Your Mom, and sugar. 

Only in Europe.  

I am a MAJOR fan of chocolate ice cream.  Except that it looks like poop. And now you will think that every single time you ever eat chocolate ice cream. Ever. 

Did you know flowers had horoscopes? Or that horoscopes had flowers? Neither did I .

The German red cross is Dark. Someone should turn on the lights for them.