The Slowju Dragon

Blurb my brain:
My last 24 hours were rough. Fiancé and I went out drinking and my cocky ass wasn't afraid of the Soju Monster. As I described it this morning, Soju is a clear alcoholic drink invented by the Koreans to punish American tourists by turning them into fire breathing dragons for several hours after ingesting. A monster it definitely is. I have no idea how many I drank, but I know I drank TOO MANY. My face has been in the bucket for the last 12 hours.

But Fiancé is a fantastic guy. He rubbed my back, held my hair and cleaned out my bucket a couple times. He even checked me for a pulse. It annoys me when he calls me names and makes fun of me for being a drunk mess, but the bottom line is that he took care of me. He TAKES care of me. So I put up with the jokes bc I am just so happy I have him to take care of me.

If you are reading this, Fiancé, just know I am very appreciative of all you do for me. I love you.

Camseneda!

Blurb my brain:
I have arrived in Seoul, South Korea. The last flight was long and awful, and I am fairly certain it was the airplane sushi (that just sounds like a disaster). It may have been the rough landing, the sheer exhaustion, or the claustrophobia, but it's just as easy to blame me getting super nauseous on the sushi.

I never eat sushi.

But arriving in Seoul was cool, and Asia is such a different environment. I know, duh!

Fiancé was going to show up in a suit with a bunch of roses, but couldn't get a jacket warm enough to go over the 3 piece suit. Well, I think he looked fucking awesome either way, and he smelled about 25 times better than I did. I had 24 full hours of traveling, which vanished in thin air somewhere before hawaii. Give me a break.

Then we get to the hotel and it is like a mini NYC, bc of all the lights. NYC where the signs all have sticks and stones instead of the Roman alphabet. It's so cool.

Today we are going to do some sightseeing, and I can't wait. Pics will be posted. :) camseneda readers for sharing the excitement! (that's poorly spelled Korean for thank you)

Konichiwa

Blurb my brain:
Well hello. Nice of you to join me over the Pacific Ocean. ;) ok, so there is no wifi over the ocean, so I am posting this after I land, but still, it's quite the intro if you ask me.

I woke up at 415 this morning to be at the airport by 530. I was mistaken, because I thought that my flight left at 8, but it didn't leave until 840. I got my nap on the bench, then woke up to see two plane fulls of people in the waiting area. Lol. Better slightly early than 12 hours early like a guy I saw check in at the gate.

The first flight to Portland was fast. It was about an hour long, with a 2 hour layover but technically it was 1 hour because I boarded the plane an hour early. We also took off early, so the captain said we should arrive early. Yay, the 12.5 hour flight is now a 12 hour flight.

I am super excited to see Fiancé again. It hasn't been that long since I last saw him, and I think this part of his tour has been so much faster, but it still is nice to be able to say I will see him tomorrow. :) see you tonight is my next goal.

I will probably add on to this post, since I have about 10 hours left of this flight, and am going to use the last half to sleep.

And I am back, with about half an hour left of flight until I get to Tokyo. I have been sleeping, if that's what you call laying in fetal position scrunched to fit in my seat and the one next to me which is free. I have also been talking to a boy named Brandon. He is 6.5 years old, in the first grade, and has entirely too much energy for having survived a 12 hour flight. He taught me some things that I did not know. Apparently you can kill a zombie by strapping explosives to his body, while somehow magically escaping his clutches of brain eating hunger. Also, the world spins so that is why it only takes 12 hours to fly to Japan.

Talking with him almost makes me sad. Patrick is a year away from this kind of excitement and energy. Granted, Patrick tells me all kinds of things that have and do make it to the blog. But what makes me sad is that I am leaving my house soon, off to be a Missus, and I will not get to see my brother act this way.

I will have to settle for phone conversations about Optimus Prime being Megatron's brother. :/ sad day indeed.

Ugly Sweaters And Merry Cursemuch

Blurb My Brain!
EXCITEMENT!
LOUD NOISES!
So basically, I am super excited for tomorrow. Yes, it is Christmas Eve, but isn't that why it is so awesome? NO! What's awesome is my fricken ugly sweater which is belligerent. I am talking jingle bells down the sleeves, and santa fricken trim kind of belligerent.  I'm pretty stoked, and think that I have the ugliest ugly sweater in the entire US right now.  AND I MADE IT! Lesson on an average Alyssa. . .
I taught myself how to sew.  I'm not very good at it, but I get the job done.  Well, with the exception that the stinking bells kept falling off today, and I think I've sewed them all on a couple times.  hah. But the point is, I taught myself how to sew and generally don't sew on any typical regular basis.
So my sweater is ugly.
Ribbon christmas tree, using red and green plaid to cover up the golfer.
Actual christmas tree ornaments which HANG off the sweater.
JINGLE FRICKEN BELLS, 24 on each sleeve (when they are all attached. lol)
and POOF BALL garland.

Belligerent. Love it.

The best part was that an email came out yesterday saying to wear the ugliest christmas sweater you own to work today.  So I spent the rest of that night, on the phones and sewing my ugly sweater.  I get to work to find out that it was a joke, and that we were just suppose to wear holiday colors.  Well, me and two other people still wore ours.  Talk about AWESOME!

I don't think I have ever been this proud of an ugly shirt.  Makes me miss those pineapple shirts.  Does anyone still own one?

And in case for some reason I forget, or don't post. . . . MERRY CURSEMUCH ERRYBODY!

School, Orientation and Leaders

Blurb My Brain:
I feel as though I may explode from the amount of stress I am under.  With the semester wrapping up, I had my final to take, and I'll be honest, I kind of half assed it.  I feel this professor did not do a good job with the curriculum, and I know what I am about to say will sound crazy.  I was unhappy with the final he administered. I am all for writing essays in class, but I believe that the midterms and finals should be a comprehensive test.  I am fine with an essay test if it were to cover topics covered throughout the class, but this exam was an "application" test, where I apply what I "learned" to improve the security of a fake company.  I mean, fine, application test away, but where did the multiple choice tests go? The definition questions? So I am upset because I didn't get a test where I could look throughout the book to find the answers.  I think this contributed to the stress, because if something is too easy, it probably is.

Secondly, I'm having a rough time at the job.  I feel as though I am not grasping things as well as I should be, and that my job performance is sub-par compared to the other employees.  I'm probably just stressing myself out over nothing, but I just feel that I don't get the good customer feed-back that I feel other people get.  Jealous? A little.  But I'm not vindictive, as other people might be in the same situation, I'm paranoid.  I am paranoid that while under my 90 day orientation the bosses will get tired of my little mistakes and fire me. And the gut feeling I've been having since Friday really hasn't helped matters.

Third, Kim Jong Il died on Sunday.  This means very little to many Americans, as many call him Kim Jong II, which is like Kim Jong the Second.  But to me, it kind of hits home.  I'm very worried for Fiance, even if he isn't worried.  I'm worried that Kim Jong Un will do something unpredictable, and something terrible might happen because of it.  Maybe this also has to do with the fact that I'm going to Seoul? I don't know. I am just a nervous wreck right now, and my body is showing it. Down 3% body fat, and 4 pounds in 3 days. I am sure it isn't my dieting/exercise.

Tell me everything will be alright?

Drivers

Blurb My Brain:
Rant alert: drivers are idiotic.

So I work until 9pm, ride the bus for about 20 minutes and then have a 30 minute commute. On this commute there are several windy roads twisting along the river. Twisty roads = no passing zones. Each of these twisty roads has a speed limit of at least 35mph. I managed to get behind not only one but TWO IDIOTS tonight. The first didn't realize that the speed limit was 50 for most of the way. We went 20 the whole time, maybe getting up to 35 if we were lucky. The second guy, license plate 202 YVV decided to swerve left and right. And his swerves didn't even coincide with the curves of the Twisty roads. Twice he almost got hit, because he was halfway in the oncoming lane. I laid on my horn to warn him, but more importantly the on comers. Just what I need at this time losing my ride because of idiots. Ugh

#end rant#

Date night

Blurb my brain:
I have a date this weekend. We are going to go to Red Lobster, maybe have a glass or wine or something and if I am lucky maybe we can go out dancing or something else after that. Maybe I can even crash at their house.

No, this is not a date with Fiancé. In fact, it isn't even with a boy. It is with a girl whom I met at a party. This party was a cookie exchange party, not some drunk fest. Ha.

But still, I am excited. It's like I told Bus Buddy, I think this is going to be the start of my social life. It's always hard to uproot your whole life, and starting social lives can be very difficult in a town like mine, inhabited by Campers. It's always been an issue with me. It is hard to squeeze into cliques and partake in their jokes and humor when they have been humoring for their whole lives.

But, of course, things like this take time, money, and patience (of which I have none). So fingers crossed Average Army (I am dubbing you guys that unless you come up with a better name [and judging by the complete lack of participants in CONTEST!! I think no one will object (but please prove me wrong)]) that this "date" will be successful, and I will have someone I can hang out with regularly. It's only going to benefit you because then the Things We Say and Featured Randoms will come back more frequently.

Bus buddies

Blurb my brain:
One day I think I may die. I have my bus buddy, we'll call him Bus Buddy. Bus Buddy hasn't been riding the bus lately, and I had joked around with Fiancé saying I scared him off.

Bus Buddy rode the bus today, and we had another great conversation on the ride home, and I told him about The Camper. I had encountered the Camper on my way into work today, when I was thinking, "COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLDturntowalkyoustupidsignIamfreezingmyeverlovingassoff." all I heard was "aren't you running late?" and I turned around all confused as to who knew my schedule. Turns out it was the camper. So if I die, he is the first suspect. Ha.

Anyway, I was glad that Bus Buddy did not find me creepy and that I had not scared him away. And if he ever reads this post I hope to god he realizes I am just bored and lonely for friends rather than a crazy stalker.

I haven't even searched for him on Facebook.

Averagely awesome!!!

Blurb my brain:
So I struck up another conversation with a stranger on the bus. This guy was a couple years older than me, had his sunglasses on, and was what I call the camper.
The camper was born, raised and will die in his birth city. The Camper has no intention of ever leaving his birth city, and has no desire to see the rest of the world.

I am the anti-camper. I haven't been to my birth city since my parents moved 20 years ago. I have visited 13 countries, nearly half the states, and plan on seeing as much of the world as I can before I die.

How do people not travel? I realize I am like Carmen SanDiego (not the whales vagina) but how do people not want to travel? How can you say you haven't wanted to see the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, the Roman Colosseum, real castles of Germany?

People, the inspiration for this blog

Things We Say:
I am tired--woman
You're tired?--man
I stayed in Ana's room for 2 hours last night.--woman
Wow. A whole two hours. I am sure that killed you--me in my head
I passed out with my head slouched against the wall. Maybe that's why my back hurts.--woman
maybe it's the insane amount of weight you carry because you are so fat--me again in my head.

Blurb my brain:
So I am sitting on the bus, convinced I am going to die. The driver is driving safely, that's not the issue. It's that the fat family sitting next to me smells like baby puke, baby shit, and McDonald's. Not the good kind of McDonald's either, where it comes fresh and hot on the tray. These people smell like the grease bucket you have to empty into the waste can. Oh it's awful.

Bus buddy didn't ride the bus today. I saw a car similar to his drive past the bus stop, which makes me think maybe he is driving in to work. This does make me look like a stalker but it isn't the case.

Oh thank you Jesus they got off the bus.

Then this boy starts talking to me about being bad at relationships. Even said something about the moth and the flame. Then I did some shameless plugging for the blog and he said something about not doing facebook with people he isn't friends with. Lol.

Back to Average

Blurb my brain:
So I am back to working out regularly. It's nice, minus my muscles begging me to skip. The first week is always hard, and I am proud of just how much sweat I am burning by working out. And once the endorphins kick in, you just feel so beastly.

And as amazing as that feels, there is something that feels better. May even feel better than our favorite adult horizontal dancing. Cleaning your ears with a Q-Tip. I definitely spend more time than is necessary to clean my ears. I mean like 20 seconds per ear, more time than is necessary. Just another look into my average life.

Infidelity and Other Such Nightmares

Blurb My Brain:
So I have been sick, as noted before, but when I am sick, I always have nightmares.  The first night of me being sick, I dreamed that Fiance broke up with me.  Or, rather, that he was planning on doing so.  So you are aware, I have not done anything to warrant a breakup.  But for some reason, I dreamed he was talking to his best man, who was saying it is always better to break up before you are actually married (which of course is true to some extent) but then I woke up and thought "WHY!?!?" I remember telling Fiance the same things I have said to him before, but this time he would not listen to me.  Scary.  And then I thought about what would happen if we were to break up, and I was very angry.  I thought of all the things that I could have done differently if I were to have been single (and since Fiance does read this, I will clarify that I am meaning strictly career-wise) such as stayed in Germany and continued to work for the government.  So I realized just how glad that I am that Fiance and I are not broken up, and still are very much so engaged.

Then the second dream that I had involved work, which is nearly as important as Fiance.  Nearly.  After all, I am trying to make rent and pay for part of a wedding, you know.  So anyway, I was at work, which was like an apartment or something, and I couldn't get the phones to work.  My coworker was a guy who worked in the weather squadron in Germany, and he was sitting on the computer doing something which wasn't work related.  The phones were ringing like crazy, and we kept having dropped calls.  Then we got a call on the "danger phone" (which doesn't exist in real life, by the way) and I was on the line with a customer so I couldn't go answer the phone.  Then the danger phone rang again, and I couldn't figure out how to answer it.  Turns out, it was like a giant entertainment center, and there were 3 different phones, and I couldn't answer the right one at the right time.  Therefore, I got an email saying I was fired.  I was costing the bank too much money, and they let me go.  I was so upset.

I swear, being sick is the stupidest thing, because I have these stupid dreams.  I have vivid and stupid dreams regularly, that's no different.  It's the stupid ones where I wake up scared for my life, my love, or my living that I hate.

You know what else angers me? Infidelity.  If you are going to have the balls to cheat on your significant other, you better have the balls to tell them it's over.  I read on Texts from Last Night that a guy was "yelling at [a girl] for not attending his wedding last month in between making out with [her]".  Sleazy.  That is not funny.  I am sure the wife is loving that marriage.  When I get married, I'm doing it once, and I'm doing it right.  Isn't that how love and marriage should be? Infidelity should not be a laughing matter, nor should it be in the media.  Yes you, Kim Kardashian, or Ashton (I still find you sexy though AK). If anyone has been the victim of infidelity, the accused of infidelity, or the friend of either case of infidelity knows that cheating is not a laughing matter.  Tears people apart, both in friendships and in marriages.  Stupid shit, really.  And I think it makes me mad when people do this, and they have vested time in a relationship.  Seriously? You've been together for 4+ years, and you ruin it with one person? That's always an important factor for me, I mean, I love Fiance more than anyone I have ever loved in my life, and to give all the time that I've spent with him up because of one person? FORGET IT.  This is probably a rant similar to one I posted last year but it still irks me.  

In sickness and in weirdness

Blurb my brain:
So I am sick. This means nothing to you i am sure. I haven't reached fame level 12 which is when you get strangers' sympathy. Which is fine, because I find it kind of creepy. Oh thanks Joe Malone, whom I have never met, for the condolences of my dead dog. It's corny to me.

Maybe when I get to fame level 12 that will change. But most likely not.

So anyway, I decided to get a gym membership and use it this week. I was pretty proud of myself. My bank account scoffed in shame but I told it to suck it up, it will be worth it eventually.

I am used to using the military gym, which is free. And the one we had in Germany had awesome equipment. This one I use now is in a small town and they are just starting to build it up. No big deal except that it has no track, and maybe 45 machines total. Again, pretty average. But I am paying over a dollar a day to use this facility. Kind of makes me upset. So I try to work out but the treadmills are too close to the window and therefore I have to crane my neck to see the tv, and I wasn't having that, so I stared at Pickles while running.

I may have had a mental conversation with him as well.

But then I went to go do the machines and could not find the ones I was looking for. Oh well. I will figure it out eventually.

So my workout was fairly average. I worked up a sweat and then came home and showered before going to work.

The sickness has been creeping up on me, and I am blaming the fact that I have abandoned soda. My blood sugar is probably back to a healthy level and therefore my body is mad at me. But I figure I have only 5 months until Fiancé and I get married so I need to kick myself into gear.

Something witty.

Things we say:
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THE MOTHER FUCKING TOUCH TONE SYSTEM IF I DON'T HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING KEYPAD?!--customer

This is my first day with my smart phone, an it's making me feel pretty dumb.--same customer
Welcome to the smart phone crowd!--me.

Blurb my brain:
I have to say that the above call made my night. I have never been screamed at, and she did feel really sorry but I was still laughing about it.

I have been in need of a laugh. I feel like a kid in december, waiting for Christmas which feels like it never will come. I just want Christmas to be over. I am sick of the music already, an it isn't even December yet.

I love when everyone is happy, and church gets more crowded, and things like that. This year I have even donated more to Salvation army than I ever have before. Food, family, relaxation, I am all good with and excited for.

But seriously? I just want to see Fiancé again. It's under 4 weeks, something like 26 days or something. It seems like forever.

Ironically, one of my friend's husband deployed today and I got to be he supportive one, which is a switch from what it was.

But I find it funny how we wish for time to speed up and slow down. I want the night to be We humans are pretty demanding, huh?

Feeling Like a Man

Things We Say:
I am much better at sex in my fantasies--me

Am I causing an acCUMulation of moisture?--Fiance, trying to distract me from my paper.

Ring of doom=end of bachelorhood.--Fiance

I made my first payment towards my student loans.--Me
Aw, you're almost an adult now.--Fiance.

9x-7i>3(3x-7u)
9x-7i>9x-21u
-7i>-21u
7i<21u
i<3u --Fiance.

She said that her computer just went somewhere. Like, what the fuck does that mean? Did it sprout legs and go get a turkey sandwich?--Lindsay

Blurb My Brain:
Hello all.  Sorry for the delays in posting.  I have no excuse.  Today's post is simply here to brag about how wonderful I feel.  This of course is similar to about half the posts I have on this blog, but just deal with it.  But first, a philosophy.

I am a firm believer and partaker in No Shave November.  Luckily, this year Fiance isn't here, so I don't have to worry about that. BUT I do like to partake in the festivities.  Which basically means not shaving.  IT'S disgusting, but I am not really a girly girl to begin with.  So this brings me to tonight.

See, I had a midterm, a final, and a paper to write last week for my psychology class.  I spent a buttload of time last week finishing that up, and then I checked my assignments for my computer class only to see that another fricken paper was due by the end of the week to count as the midterm.  THE HECK?! So as per usual, I procrastinated until TODAY to do it.  (I promise I'm getting to the point) So naturally I continue to procrastinate today, by accomplishing some other equally important tasks (like getting Pickles some new keys, buying a wedding planning book, getting a starbucks caramel frappacino, and of course going to the bank to reduce some of the debt from christmas shopping). Well, 5 in the afternoon rolled around and I had reached a point of disappointment in myself that I could no longer stand.  I took out the sources I had printed off, and began reading.

Then Fiance chat with me, and I get distracted with the Internet.  So I finally get through all my sources at 9 at night (which is ridiculous because I only had 6 sources) and I get the blank word document open. Screw this I'm hungry. Go eat dinner, come back upstairs, and again, forget this, I am going to shower.

(here's the point) Oh my God showers are so awesome.  Steamy, hot, wet (as opposed to dry??) showers where your skin prunes from being in there too long. Showers where you can shave in comfort and not care how much hot water you use.

So immediately following No Shave November is Disgusting Drain December, right? I mean with everyone shaving on December 1st, the drain systems have to be gross.  I imagine they are pretty grotesque to begin with, what with the toothpaste, denture cream, sexual items, spit, and other hygiene items. But then you start pumping pounds of dirt, that's nasty! 

What a Week

Weddings, work, women, and woes. That's what I have been up to my dear 17 readers. I am going to go in order.

Weddings.
I am sure the more elegant they are, the more worth it they become. I am in no way doubting this. However, were I to have a disposable income, and Fiancé's presence, I would SO be married now. No one ever says "enjoy being engaged! It's so much fun!" and if they tell you that, they clearly have forgotten what it is like. Money, colors, suits, little-shit-you-never-think-of-and-know-is-not-significant-and-no-one-will-remember-but-god-forbid-you-don't-have-it-in-your-damn-wedding-STUFF, food-that-people-will-only-remember-when-they-look-at-pictures-from-the-wedding, and everything else. There's very little that has gone the way that I wanted from the start.  The only thing that really matters is that I am still marrying Fiancé.  Right? But still, it would be nice to have a wedding that resembles my dream wedding.  And don't get me wrong, it's going to be CLASSY. And I'm going to wear an A-line dress like I always wanted.  And I'm going to have most, if not all, of my closest friends there to support me.  But the cake has been ripped to shreds, the wedding colors dashed, the time of the year (thank you to Uncle Sam for that bad boy) frozen, photographer chosen for me, food catering choice not going to happen, and I'm not going to get to sleep in my own bed before the wedding due to the fact my family will be in town.  Don't get me wrong, IT WILL BE CLASSY and it WILL BE GORGEOUS, and I WILL LOOK AMAZING.  It just isn't going the way I had hoped.

Work.
I swear guys, I love my job. Every day is a challenge.  But just one day, I'd like the easy calls to come in. I think that I have my phone wired to receive calls that are difficult, and require managerial input at all times.  Nothing ever seems to be easy.  And that makes for a long day.  In fact, I rarely get to my breaks on time, because about 2 minutes before break time hits, people call in and I have to research the problem, find solutions, report back to them, and BOOM! there goes my 15 minute break, that I'm now late for. And if I happen to get to my break on time, I often spend it catching up on my work! How is THAT fair? It's not.  But I do feel like I accomplished a LOT at the end of the day, solely based on my level of exhaustion.  And tomorrow I start my schedule of 12-9, yes, that is PM. That really doesn't bother me though, so much as that I have an hour commute home.  Luckily getting home at 10 is not all that bad when you don't have to be up until 10am the next day. ha. And how do people work and go to school? I spent every spare second this last week trying to do my school work, so I could stay afloat in the class.  I attempt to do my reading at lunch, but unfortunately, doing my reading in the conference room invites myself to a private screening with my bosses in watching It's Always Sunny in Philedelphia, the Sopranos, or Super Troopers (which they don't find funny, because they are bosses. I have no other reason or explanation as to how they don't find that funny.  But oh well.) which is not good studying environment.  Luckily one class ends this week, so I will be able to focus on the other until December 19th when the class ends.

Women.
Just. Women.


Women Take Two.
Ok, dramatic effect aside, women are AWFUL creatures.  Just TERRIBLE! Pregnant, Mothers, Brides, Bridesmaids, Customers, just WOMEN! I love my mother, and my bridesmaids, but who knew so. much. shit was entangled into details for WOMEN of the wedding? Hair, nails, make up, dresses, shoes, tights, flowers, colors, jewelry, spas.... et cetera, et cetera.  I may have 99% of that figured out, but still! Talk about a CHORE! And we women, we are just EXPENSIVE! Did you know that each of my bridesmaids dresses are ON SALE for $59.99? That's $240 in fabric, and jeweled sequins. Luckily, the bridesmaids buy their own dresses.  I'm buying the shoes, as a small gift to my girls, at $30 a piece, which by the way is super cheap.  It's still $120. And then an hour of spa, $60. Add on another $240. My flowergirl, she's got to wear a dress too, you know. Can't have a tarzan-esque flower girl, so that's another $120. See? we are expensive, and we haven't even gotten to the jewelry.  And mothers, I love my mother, and my mother-in-law-to-be, but how do they find a way to think of things for the wedding that I didn't even remotely consider? But at the same time, how did either of them fail to mention postage costing me my first born child's first textbook? Women.

Woes.
I love all my readers, and all my friends and the 14 of you reading this will be offended.  The other 3 are men. But women, and I do this too, woe too much.  I roll my eyes when people complain about being away from their Significant others for the night, or waiting until the end of the work day to see them.  Please. That's all I am going to say, about this, since I have entirely too much reading to do for the week.  

The real kitchen nightmares

Blurb my brain:
So I am now registered with Fiancé for our wedding registry. I won't say where, as you could very easily see Fiancé's name that way. But. Generally speaking:

Holy crap there are a lot of things for a wedding registry!! I was going through and it was like 150 items in my registry already, and wouldn't you know there are so many I didn't select! There are some gadgets that I understand you'd want. Peeler, juicer, waffle maker, got it. But an apple peeling hand crank thing? Just ridiculous.

Also, the site where we are running the registry through you can create a wedding site which is pretty nifty. :) I had a hard time speaking in Fiancé's voice but I felt it did a good enough job.

I have to say, this part of the wedding is super fun. Planning our future (albeit nonexistent) bathroom, bedroom, and kitchen has a completely new and exciting feel to it. Is it bad that kitchen gadgets and bath towels excite me?

Just another Awesome day

Blurb My Brain:
So everyone seem pretty stoked about the weekend.  Especially since 95% of the people in the nation have the day off.  And by 95% of the nation I am of course excluding the unemployed (although maybe I should include them, since they don't have to go into work tomorrow), those in fast food, and those in retail.  So maybe it's more like 33% of the nation. Whatever. Shut up. But unfortunately (THERE! I FOUND THE POINT!) I do not have the day off.  But I am not complaining.  I get paid time and a half, which sends me into super ecstatic mode.  My eyes have changed from spheres into big dollar signs.

So yes, I do have to work.  But, I get to be more relaxed and wear jeans and a nice dress shirt rather than my nice business dress.  I also get to park in the building, rather than take a bus from the Arena to work.  Not like that makes too much of a difference, since I basically spend 11 minutes on the bus, and it drops me off right behind the office building.  But I'm pretty excited that I get to wear jeans, since I have basically used all of my dress wear for the week.  I don't know why on earth I threw out all my dress clothes. . . I guess I figured I'd be unemployed for 6 months when I got back? I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box though.

OH! Speaking of bright...today was a bright day! Actually, I think it might have been, but I got to the office when the sun was still getting out of bed and then left after it went back to sleep. But I woke up this morning, and was like "today is going to be great." So I got ready, listened to Daft Punk on my way to the shuttle, and Fiance messaged me, and asked if I wanted to FaceTime him.  Well, since I was early, why not! Except you need a wifi connection. DOH! So he installed Skype on his iPad, and then we chatted for about 15 minutes before I got into work.  We immediately got to our own desks and did our own work, and that was super exciting.

Then we went to lunch, and by we I mean I.  The other girls in training didn't get to lunch until later.

And before lunch, I got a call from a florist, saying that they had flowers for me, but couldn't find where I was located.  So I told them I'd meet out front of the building, where I picked up my 12 giant red roses! Chyeah! Fiance fricken rocked it! And the vase was a pretty red, with a cute bow and rhinestones, and oh my god it was gorgeous. See?

It just tickled my ever loving fancy.  I swear you guys. He really is just the greatest thing I have ever had in my life.  In fact, he even tricked me in order to get me these things.  He said he needed my work address for paperwork to get married (and it totally worked!).  So. Sweet. 

Then on my lunch break I got an issue with my school resolved, so my tuition doesn't triple! Yeah to saving money!

So that's pretty much all the awesome I could squeeze into one post.  :) Back to homework!

It Smells Like Eternity Up In Here

Blurb My Brain:

You know what guys? I haven't done a Things We Say in a LONG time.  And you know what else? I can't help it! I haven't been out around the general public enough to eavesdrop and find funny things we say.

Yesterday I drove down to my uncle's place to get Pickles fixed.  He was being a bad boy and spraying the garage with his oil. So I drove by myself to my uncle's, and it was funny.  I realized I'm a big girl now.  I not only am allowed to drive 2.5 hours by myself, I actually got to the uncle's place without any serious problems. So yesterday Uncle Mitch and Uncle Gregg fixed Pickles for 5 hours, while Aunt Judy and I talked. It was pretty nice. Then we went to Applebee's, where I had a Mudslide (nom!) and some boneless wings.  The wings were a bit too spicy for me, so I was SUPER GLAD I got the Mudslide.  Then I realized my cousin was trying to contact me, but we didn't have each others' phone numbers, so she decided to stay in.

This morning I drove back, with no problems, and found out that Mom was at the Laundromat. I needed my laundry done too, since you know, I have been wearing my 5 dress outfits to work for the week.  So, I load my hamper into my truck, and drive to the laundromat.  It was fun, washing and folding clothes with Mom.  And about half way through the laundry, she asked if I wanted to look at wedding dresses today.

YES!

So we got to David's Bridal at 4:30, told them exactly which one I wanted, and a consultant helped find the dress.  It was in ivory, which I want my dress to be white, but she said she could order the correct color.  So I grabbed that one, and another one which was just gorgeous, and then went to the fitting room.  The David's Bridal lady had to help me into my bra (its kind of like a corset), and then tried the first dress on.

It was a strapless A Line dress, with a red design across the boobs, and the red center piece. It was gorgeous, but I figured it kind of looked Prom Dress-y.  I am not going to prom, I'm getting married.  So then we tried on the second dress, which I had been looking at online for the last several weeks (a satin A line Halter dress with a red sash).  It not only fit, but it also looked amazing on.  And the WEIRDEST thing happened to me when I was wearing it.

I realized I am legitimately getting married.

I fought back tears as I realized how amazing I am looking in my actual dream wedding dress, and how I'm going to be so beautiful as I pledge eternity to Fiance.  Words can't really describe a feeling like that.  And before you harp on me, yes I know, I've been engaged for almost a month.  But you know what? I don't think that it had actually hit me that I was actually getting married.  I think trying on the dress with your mother sitting behind you just flips a switch.  I felt different.

Granted, I will probably be hit with a double dose of the Eternity Perfume when the actual dress I ordered comes in, since it will have all the right colors and stuff. But still, it was a pretty fricken magical moment.

Sweet Sweet Connectedness

Blurb My Brain:
So today at Job was fun, and kind of boring at the same time.  I did training for the first half of the day, and then listened to customers for the second half of the day. What was fun was that I was starting to grasp the concept of what it is I have to do, and how to do it.  Of course there was the occasional customer with a problem I had NO clue on how to handle.  But I am excited because tomorrow I get some actual hands on training.  I am SO nervous! But a good kind of nervous I would say.  Hope it's all easy people tomorrow. LOL.

I am missing Fiance pretty hard core lately.  He kind of dropped a huge bomb (understandably. We are not rich folk) so I've been in a rather shitacular mood because of it.

Not to mention getting Internet again means I have to catch up on my school work.  Which honestly isn't that bad, since one class just started last week.  But still, I have like 5 chapters to read, not to mention a research paper due in 2 weeks, and oh, I started my new job! And unlike my previous previous (BM...Before McDonald's) job, I can't sit there and do my homework.  So poop.  I'm going to have to get up EARLY in the morning and do my homework now.  Well, once I start my regular hours.  Right now I'm doing the homework all night when I get home. Sucky.

So yeah, just stressed about money, and school, and money.  I guess things are beginning to fall into place.  Except that my room is TRASHED because I have clothes all over it when I was unpacking.  So maybe when I catch up on my stinking homework, I can put my clothes away and take them out of the suitcase.  Maybe.  Ugh. Don't move.  Ever.  

Oops

Blurb my brain:
See what happens when you let time run away? Your life starts to get away from you. Ugh. I don't know where to start.

Last day at McDonalds was funny, with the exception of not getting a break for 4 hours because the manager was kinda clueless. I say it was funny because I literally had to cut open ketchup packets and squeeze them into the ketchup gun. And then The mayo gun exploded and the guy compared it to the way he comes. It was just. Very. Odd.

So I started Job on Monday, which of course was Halloween. I had debated bringing a costume, but ultimately decided against it. Should have brought it. Oh well. So my first day was nice, with a pot luck and meeting people, and listening to them talk with customers. It was draining to say the least.

So then I get home and dress up as a German girl for halloween. Then a lady bug. Then Ke$ha. I loved my Ke$ha costume. :) head on over to my Facebook page to see that. Anyway, I ultimately decided on being Ke$ha and went to a party of a girl who I know from McDonalds.

Most of the people weren't my kind of crowd. Half the people were high on pot, and the rest were drunk. No big deal, but I had to remain sober so I could leave and get home early. I had work the next day at 8am, for training at Job.

So I end up home at 1130, scrubbing my makeup off, and I notice my face is swollen from the makeup. Just friggen great. My second day on the Job and I won't be wearing makeup, and it's going to look like I was jus hungover. Ugh. Seriously I hate my life sometimes.

So I get to work, do some training (so much to learn. I literally have to know how to do everything that the company offers to the customers. And do it in 3 minutes and 50 seconds or less. Crazy!!!

So I get home, take a nap for half an hour, and eat dinner. Then I go upstairs with the intent of only taking a nap for an hour. I wake up at 2. Lol. Again, sometimes I hate my life.

With the exception that now I am talking to Fiancé. Lol. That's good. :) I wish our schedules meshed better.

Oh happy Day!!

Blurb my brain:
So I had an interview today. NAILED IT! I decided to learn from my mistakes, and follow the example of Elise at thingsthatarenotbagels.com
and keep this one on tippy top secrets. Although, any of you who are my actual friends will know bc of Facebook. Plus, I kinda swore confidentiality for this job. Signed that paper and everything. Lol.

But I feel like I can tell you guys how today went. And just because I can, I am going to do it Tucker Max style.

5:58
Wake up worried I overslept and missed my interview, only to be disappointed that I was actually up 2 minutes before my alarm.

5:59
Thumbing through Facebook. Also thought, "it is way too damn early to be up."

6:00
Realized Fiancé posted a Hoops and Yoyo "I Love You" video to my wall. I forget about 5:59

6:05
Roll off the floor, I mean my bed.

6:06
Morning pee.

6:07
Flush toilet and wash hands.

6:15
Dressed and ready. Crap. Interview isn't until 830, and I have to been at HR at 8. *mental math* an hour early.

6:16
Fuck it, I will get gas on the way, and finding parking will be interesting, so I'll leave now.

6:25
Finally get the damn truck out of the garage, and shut the door.

6:35
Shit it's foggy out here. Hope to god no deer are out, because my lights suck.

6:50
Gas is friggen expensive. $3.69. *cue Get Low by Ludacris(lil jon, whatever I am bad with that shit)*

7:15
Stalled truck for the first time. I have been driving it for two weeks, and I just now stall it going up the ramp to the garage? Whatever. Find my way upstairs.

7:17
No one here. Playing words with friends and sudoku.

8:05
HR office open. Fill out paperwork. Call old boss for numbers for professional references. Thought I'd trick them by putting international numbers. Muahahahhah. (didn't work. They called me back and asked for the email addresses)

8:20
Bossman comes and takes me from HR. takes me to a big room with three other people and a table arrangement in a square. I have never interviewed in front of a board of people before. Cool. Not really. I am minorly freaking out. That's also a first.

8:40
Interview over, feel like I did well. Especially when they smiled and nodded when I said "usually my peers are judged against me." Bossman takes me up the stairs again to validate my parking. Tells me he will be right back.

8:45
Bossman returns and pulls me into the office. He offers me the job right there. I accept, shocked because it happened so quickly. He asked what I wanted my salary to be. I told him based on the hours he mentioned in the interview, I could work for minimum wage.

8:46
He offers me 50% more. I am further shocked. He and I head to HR to rush through the hiring so I can start Monday. :)

9:15
I drive home, and along the way, tell my current employer I quit.

9:57
It all hits me. I am super excited.

Just because.

Seriously, I am not random, I just think quickly. Example:

Mom and I were talking about dinner and how the steaks wouldn't be thawed in time for my father to be home. So we might have to get drive through.

"good thing there is a gas station right outside the house"--me

Random? Not really!

Drive through-> driving -> haven't gotten gas in like 2 weeks -> need to get gas soon -> we are at the new house now-> where is the nearest gas station to the new house? -> totally saw one like .5 mile down the road -> "good thing there is a gas station right outside the house"

See! I am not that random. I just don't voice all my thoughts.

Awkward initial dating

Things we Say:
You have this extra layer to keep you warm--mom about dad
Maybe you should get an extra layer too!--dad

Blurb my brain:
Hopefully those of you reading this will have had a boyfriend or girlfriend before, or this post might not make sense. You know how when you first start dating someone things are really awkward? Like, you don't really know what to say, unless you've adequately Facebook stalked them (more on that later). So you are sitting there at dinner, trying to order something that will fill you up but not make you look like a pig, or ruin your kissability factor. And you fumble for topics like "have you lived in San Diego long? I heard San Diego means a whale's vagina. Is that true?" ok hopefully you guys aren't THAT socially awkward. But you catch my drift.

And so you eat dinner and your date has been going well so you get to that point where you are making out with the other person for the first time. Nothing is more awkward than that, because every person has their own kissing style. (I remember once I sat down my boyfriend at the time [not Boyfriend/Fiancé but a different guy] and tried to teach him how to kiss me. It was not an easy task.) so you two are there, fumbling tongues, and then the whole situation gets awkward. Just. Awkward.

But back to my point: moving into a new house is like an awkward first date. Finding new permanent places for everything, and fumbling around the dark to find the switch (giggity) and just all around awkwardness. How does your furniture go? How are you going to organize your closet? Where do you keep your deodorant? All these things are just as awkward as a first kiss. Sometimes, you may even find yourself fantasizing about your other house (this also doesn't apply to Fiancé. My past boyfriends were bad kissers, and they seemed to get worse as they went on. Lol).

I guess I should announce we moved into our new house today. :) we spent all day packing, loading, unloading and unpacking our possessions out of the hotel and into the house.

Pickles didn't want to make it up the hill in 4th gear, so I had to downshift, and it made me sad.

So when I was done I began surfing Facebook. Now, lets go back to that parenthesis iN paragraph one. If we for whatever reason happen to meet, and then later add each other on Facebook, I am warning you now. I Facebook stalk. I look about a week into your past to learn about you and see what kind of person you are. Sometimes, I will like something from before we were Facebook friends. Sorry. That's how you know I am interested in learning about you. Lol. Don't be scared. In fact, I almost expect the same to be done to me. So yeah. That's my rant for the night. :)

Thinking is bad

Blurb my brain:
Do you ever just think? Men this probably doesn't apply to you. But just sat there and thought? Well I tend to do just that whenever I am bored. Or waiting. And right now I am doing both.

Growing up, I vowed to never be like my parents. Now that I am older I hear myself saying things that I thought I would never hear. And I am not going to lie, I know I am not that old. But I still catch myself saying: "god child put some clothes on and leave this store"

But still other times, I find I still vow never to do or say certain things. I will not be going into detail. But some things I will not be doing. And I try hard not to. I just don't want to expose people around me to that kind of behavior. It's not nice. And it should t be done. It is hurtful. Which is why I have vowed never to do so. I have learned how to deal with it, but it took me a long time to figure out how.

Thinking is bad. It leads to over analyzing. And that is bad.

Normality and other Average things

Blurb My Brain:
So just so you know, I am back. Yes. Rejoice, minions. All 3 minions, rejoice.  I have some catching up to do, I suppose.

I went to Vegas and got engaged.  Details in "Characters" tab.  I didn't get married because I want my dad to walk me down the aisle.  I am planning my own wedding, with the help of my mother.  Fiance is not around, and therefore will be staying out of most of the wedding planning.  I gave him the big task of choosing what he's going to wear. That may not seem like a big deal, but what he wears determines our wedding colors, which therefore determine quite a few other items as well.  We do not have a date, because I want a Catholic Wedding, and the church decides the date.  Yeah. So after waiting three days, I finally got the email address of the priest, and sent him an email.  Wish me luck.

I also got the new OS for my iPhone.  Talk about stoked! Now I have 5GB of free cloud storage to back up my photos and videos, and there are a bunch of nifty new features.  Like marking emails as read instead of doing it individually.  Double clicking the home screen while locked, you can access the camera. Yeah! Have I lost you Droid Users yet? If so, GOOD! YOUR PHONE IS STUPID! lol.  Sorry, I am an Apple fan, and this new update made me super happy.

Work was nice, although I have to be honest, I'm getting sick of the grill. I have mastered it.  I am ready for a new challenge.  I would also like more hours.  I can't afford to get to work for only 12 hour work weeks.  Sorry.  I'm ranting.  I am just SO BROKE, with the wedding and my school, and my EVERYTHING AT THE MOMENT, that getting only 12 hours nearly threw me into an anxiety attack.

But I got treatment for anxiety, so I handled that right away.

But that's about all in my life. It's been pretty average.

Like my page? Wanna do more? visit my facebook page, and Like me today! 

Emo-ness

Blurb my brain:

So today was pretty average. Woke up, kissed Fiancé good morning, got dressed, then we packed up and checked out of the hotel. Then we went to the most average o breakfast choices--Denny's. Then we got to the airport, parked my truck, Pickles (more later), and went in. I was able to have a gate pass, so I was able to spend a nice two extra hours with Fiancé. Then they called him to board the airplane, and I gave him a final hug and kiss. Then turned around with tears in my eyes, and walked away, a wet mess. But I got out of there, and decided to run some errands.

Like registering my truck. I got an old 87' Chevy S10, manual transmission, and it's my new baby. I named it Pickles cause its big and green. It's engine roars and there are a couple minor problems with it, but it's my new car, and I am excited to be mobile again. I can't wait to drive myself to work. Lol. Average.

I also met with a priest to discuss some wedding stuff, which didn't give me too much information, but I think it was a good start. I am glad I have my mom to help me plan it, since I have little to no clue what to ask! Lol.

That's all I have been up to. I start work again in a couple days, but I figure that will be great because I have to have something to keep me occupied while Fiancé is away.

Sorry Guys

Blurb in my Brain:

I've already fallen into the "sorry I haven't posted, I've just been soooo busy" part of my blogging career. But, that's average right? I've just worked a lot this week (yay, Wal-mart) and I tried to have somewhat of a social life, and so there you have it.

Today is my first day off in about a week, and I'm going to a benefit concert and I'm going to go shopping around at thrift stores to try and pick up the last parts for my halloween costume. I'm going to be Hermione. I'm pretty excited about how teased my hair is going to be. It's going to be huge, you don't even know. Pictures will be posted hopefully.

Oh yeah, speaking of, I finally bought a new digital camera! I lost my other one shortly after my brother's wedding, and have had to use disposables all summer (I know, so old school!). So it's good to be back in the digital realm.

Lastly, please do send Alyssa some love. Either in the form of a comment telling her congratulations or good mental vibes in her direction.

Engaged

Blurb in my Brian:

Readers, I don't think you understand what's happened here. Our Alyssa is ENGAGED. You. Yes You. You reading this RIGHT NOW. Post a comment! Tell her Congratulations! She has just made the decision to spend the rest of her life with a great man, who makes her very happy! That deserves some celebration!

Beyond all of that SUPER EXCITING AND WONDERFUL NEWS, my life has been pretty average. But, I did go to my first hockey game today.

Now, I am one of those girls who likes sports, and by sports, I mean football (other sports just aren't as good, though I will watch baseball too), but I never liked hockey. I mean, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A SPORT THAT CAN END IN A TIE?! (I think that now they've changed that, and you can't. Is this right? D-o you know?) But, I happened in to some free tickets courtesy of my sister. and let me tell you, it was pretty awesome.

I'm used to going to the ball game, so I was sort of expecting that sort of a thing. But everyone at the hockey game was so IN to the game! Not only that, but everyone around us was super nice, and we got coupons and all other kinds of craziness.

Not to mention, that while these tickets were free for me (because I got them from my sister) but they were originally 27$. Not a whole lot of money. AND WE HAD CLUB SEATS. This meant that we had FREE CONCESSIONS for basically the whole game. FREE. Free soda, beer, nachos, pretzels, chicken fingers, salad, roast beef sandwiches, ice cream sandwiches. FREE. Now, I'm a recent college graduate, so I will take advantage of some free stuff like no ones business. It was awesome! Plus we won and there was some fighting, and stuff, so all in all it was a good time. Hockey is kind of brutal.

Changing

Blurb My Brain:
You know how in every epic novel or story a character dies and then after an appropriate time, the character comes back to life or wasn't actually dead in the first place (I promise there is a point to this)? Well, my blog is far from epic. It's an Average Alyssa, not an Epic Alyssa, although some of you guys are so sweet with telling me how great the blog is. With that being said, a character of this blog is being killed off. No, Sarah, you are still safe. But it is someone whom I love. I am talking about Boyfriend.

Before you send your condolences, remember the first paragraph. I am not going to make you wait until I drop the ring in the volcano, or wait for the prince to kiss me to tell you guys. but you do have to wait til the end of his story.

Boyfriend and I were going to see the Bodies exhibit at the Luxor. That's the exhibit where they plasticized the human body, and you can learn all about the body while seeing real bodies. Anyway, I wanted to show Boyfriend that because he is a sports medicine major. Well, I felt cute yesterday with my pretty brown and white dress. So we were walking the two miles down the Strip, an Boyfriend sees Paris, Las Vegas Hotel which has the miniature Eiffel Tower. We leaned up against the wall and joked about the real Eiffel Tower gypsies who hold up signs asking if you speak English and then beg for money with the sign. Then, he jumped in front of me, got down on one knee, showed me a GORGEOUS half carat princess cut diamond ring, and said "Marry Me?". BAM! DEAD!!! "OH MY GOD! YES!!" I screamed, and kissed him about 37492046 times. WHIZ! BANG!! He comes back to life as "Fiancé," the dashing prince who swept me off my feet. I was so excited. So then after kissing him a couple more times, I said to him: "Let's go look at some naked, dead bodies."

So we see that, and the Titanic exhibit. Then we go to Dick's Last Resort bar for lunch and celebratory drinks. Well I had the drinks. Then back to the hotel for an hour or so to kill some time before we saw Defending the Caveman. It was a funny show about relationships, and if you are ever in Vegas, I highly suggest seeing it. As he said, he is in Sin City promoting loyalty and monogamy. Then it was over and we booked it to the Venetian to see Tim Allen. He was hilarious. And so was his opening act, Mo? Laurel? Lo? something Sanders. You know how Tim Allen is Buzz Lightyear and Santa, and a star of a bunch of other kids movies?

His show was far from kid friendly. Talking of scrotum, testicles, kids these days being pussies, the congressmen, lying and inaccuracies in movies, farting, colons, and assholes... it's ironic to think of him as even being suggested for a role as Santa. In fact, he said he thinks it's God's punishment that he gets cast into all these kid movies, when he hates kids. But all in all, it was a great show.

So that was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Rediscovery

Things We Say:

"In my experience, the easiest way to seduce somebody is to spend 10 years learning how to play guitar and sing John Mayer songs." - Sam Hart

Blurb in my Brain:

Guys, this shouldn't come as a shock to you, but I am a huge nerd. Well, maybe not huge, but I do have some nerdy tenancies. ANYWAY, part of this nerdiness made me want to start rereading the Harry Potter series after the last movie came out.

I'm just not ready to let go, you know? It's like, more than HALF of my life has consisted of reading Harry Potter, waiting for the books to come out, dressing up (I really only did that like twice) and waiting for the movies to come out, being mad about things in the movies, etc.

Anyway, so I set out to reread the books. This idea probably lasted about .05 seconds before I remembered that I really don't have a whole lot of free time. And then I downloaded the audiobooks.

Readers, this was the BEST DECISION EVER. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to them on my way to and from work. And there are some many smaller things that I have completely forgotten, and revisiting some parts have made me slightly emotional (please ignore the crazy woman at that stop light who looks like she's about to cry with a poptart hanging out of her mouth at 8:30am).

Also, the audiobooks are read by Stephen Fry, who does a fantastic job (and even does voices) and I like that it's the original British version, so some of the words are different (Like calling the windshield a windscreen, love it!) So, if you've been thinking about listening to the books on audiotape, DO IT. I'm thinking that once I eventually finish Harry Potter, I may move on to got some of my other favorites on audiobook.

Learning from Sin City.

Blurb my brain:

Readers, Vegas is amazing. This city is a mash up of a bunch of cities around the world. And since I have been to Europe, I learned some things. In the few short days I have been in Vegas, I have also learned some things.

1. People on vacation are nice.
2. People on vacation can still be rude.
3. People who go to Vegas only pack shorts and skirts, and assume that the rainy forecast is a lie.
4. People are occasionally wrong.
5. True love comes when warning your partner of your farts while receiving a back massage, so you dont fart into each others butts.
6. true love is reaching that point of comfort level where you can let loose an incredibly rancid fart, be pushed off the bed, and still be allowed to get back on the bed.
7. No matter how much you plan your vacation, there will be dull moments where you are sitting in the room watching myth busters. Enjoy those moments as well.
8: impromptu shows are fun, and romantic. Even if it's Chriss Angel's Donnie Darko-esque show with mutant bunnies.
9: McDonalds is acceptable no matter where you vacation.
10: Buffets are expensive. Stick to number 9.

Also people are, hold on a minute, I gotta hit Boyfriend. He's mocking me using my phone.

There. Also, don't start a fight with someone 1/3 more your size. And is also trained in Combatives. It won't end well for you.

Viva Las Vegas

Blurb My Brain:

Howdy, from Sin City!! I know I said I would be taking a break from blogging, and I still am, but I wanted to blurb. Because that's what I do. And as talented as Sarah is, throwing her into full time blogging mode is a little unfair.

Cue rant:

So flying and traveling is something I actually enjoy doing. Sure, sitting on the plane with 40 other people (or more) and breathing in their recycled air isn't always fun. And hoping that one of them doesn't have the flu and start infecting everyone isn't fun either. But the excitement of going somewhere is an amazing feeling. Knowing you don't have work, seeing new things, making new memories to tell your friends, it's all very pleasurable.

Except that other people are doing it too. Other people like the people with the kids who are misbehaving. Other people like people who don't know personal space, the proper way a line works, how to stand in a line, how to apologize. I think some of the people who tried line jumping at the shuttle bus waiting line were Canadian. You may make weird bacon, but that doesn't mean you can be rude.

But then we get to the hotel, and we wait in line with more rude people. And when we get up to the counter to check in to our room, the lady informs Boyfriend that she only room available in the price range he booked for was a double queen room. We had booked a king room over a month ago.

Then we get to the room and there is a small tv, no safe, no fridge, no microwave. What kind of hotel and casino in Vegas doesn't have a safe?!? What if I won big?

But after all the fiascos of getting here, we stayed in. Don't judge me! I liked watching Fast and the Furious, ordering a ridiculously overpriced meal and staying in the arms of Boyfriend.

I just didn't realize that the rest of the city would be up til 3am dancing to Soulja Boy and Shakira. And that I would feel like crap.

So that's pretty much been my experience of Vegas. Hopefully it's going to get better.

Oh. It's Alyssa by the way. ;)

Friend Dates and Date Dates

Things We Say:

"I'm already spoty-lookin, because I'm freckly as SHIT" -Me
"No one wants to have sex with me. I look like Voldemort" -50/50

Blurb in my Brain:
The other night I went on a double with Boy Person and his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend. Now, it's important to mention that this is the first time I had met them. I guess you can tell that meeting a friend is going well in the same way you know that a date is going well. Halfway through our outing, we made plans for another outing. So our second date is going to be re-watching Good Burger, so it should be great! Do I ask Boy Person's friend to be facebook friends now? What's the appropriate etiquette on that?

Also, dates and first impressions and all that are incredibly silly. I mean, I get why we do it. But the whole reason to date (friend dates or date dates) is to get to know a new someone, or get to know someone in a new way. And all that first impression, trying to impress your date stuff, that's silly. Last night for example, Boy Person was over, and I kid you not, I drank the last of the milk right out of the carton in front of him, in a ratty old Dragon Ball Z shirt that's never seen the light of day and has a hole in the pit. I am WAY beyond trying to be impressive (which is evident with the fact that I A, did that in front of Boy Person, and B, told the internet (this blog) about such events). I'm even out of the being impressive stage with you all, readers.

That being said, you are going to call me in a few days right? I felt like we had some great chemistry readers. We should do this again in say, a day or 2. How's my first impression coming along?

Featured Randoms:
Just this. Hilarious.

Vacation Schmacation

Blurb in my brain:

So, Alyssa is on a vacation with Boyfriend. This means that while she is away I will be guest posting. Is this the opportunity for complete take over that I was looking for? Yes! Will I take this opportunity? No. See, I just enjoy having the power. Using it to do things is too much work.

In any case, perhaps I should tell you more about me, since you be hearing from me for a while, you might want to know what you just bought in to (except that you didn't buy it, because this is the internet, even if we were charging someone would be giving it away for free). So welcome to the obligatory introductory post.


1. You already know my name is Sarah and that Alyssa and I went to high school together (or you should. Aren't you taking notes!? There's going to be a quiz later!)
2. I also have a boyfriend, which we will call Boy Person for the sake of this blog.
3. I never lived in Germany, but did take German in the aforementioned high school.
4. I've graduated college, but cannot find work, so I work part-time at Walmart. This is painfully average, which makes me qualified to write on this blog.
5. I'm still living at home with my father, and it's just me and him against the world. He has long grey hair in a pony tail and looks like the love child of Willie Nelson and Kenny Rogers.
6. I hope that you all are old enough to know who those people are.
7. I like to go camping, hang out on the town, go to concerts, play video games, read, facebook stalk, and whatever else comes my way.
8. I spend far too much time on the internet.
9. I'm bad at being introductory
10. I like to end things at nice even numbers.

Tada!

Featured Randoms:
(Oh yeah, bringin it back.)
I do not know this author of this blog at all, but I have recently started following this blog, and it's hilarious! Most definitely worth a mention, and a click for you. Perhaps I'm behind the times, perhaps you knew about this blog already. Check out Calling All Cool Moms.

In regards to Catty Coworker

So that situation got out of hand quickly. Now everyone at work knows about An Average Alyssa. Normally I would love free viewers. But, I was avoiding the new work place finding this blog. Its not like I am hiding anything. I am an honest person, and if you ask the question I will reply.

And that's the thing with my honesty: it gets me in trouble. I was honest with my boss in Germany, and he wouldn't hire me full time (but gave me two awards on the way out. Lol.) I am honest with my friends and they hate it. I am honest with strangers, and I come off badly. But I never learn.

So in all honesty, I would like to mention what happened in my point of view.

1: I got hired at McDonalds after coming from a job that paid me $3 more an hour, where I had a steady schedule of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I was upset at first, but the idea grew on me before I actually started.

2: I started and loved the job. Mostly everyone was kind, with the exception of one coworker who was snotty to me. And although I came home with grease down to my bones it seemed, I was not dissatisfied with my job.

3: I was told the coworker who had not been nice to me did not like me. I told the person i really didn't care.

4: I post about why this coworker could possibly think I am weird, and she sees it. She then gets offended and replies angrily.

5: I reply to her reply saying that I was not meaning to offend her, and I believe she had misinterpreted the post.

6: I also send the reply to her Facebook inbox.

7: I receive no acknowledgment of my apology on either site. Then i write this reply on her wall in hopes to clarify further.

Well, I am off work for the next 18 days, so I can't say this to your face. I did say you were catty, but I wanted to let you know that everyone else was very nice to me the last two weeks. You just weren't. So I apologize again for anything I said. I know the whole store knows about my blog now, and while I appreciate the free publicity, I was keeping it private for a reason.

You said let's be adults so here it goes: I am sorry for you thinking my post was mean, and again, I assure you that was not my intention. I am sure you didn't mean to offend me.

I hope that since you ignored my private message apology, you have accepted it. I would like to move past this, and continue to work as adults by your side. This entire situation was blown out of proportion and I am sorry.

In the meantime, I will attempt to enjoy the limited time I have with my boyfriend. I hope you can enjoy the next 18 days as well.

8: I write this blog post to attempt to clarify the issue.

9: she has since accepted my apology.

Really, this shows why I hate rumors. I do not speak them. I have heard several rumors flying around the store and never once repeated them. I feel like rumors are pointless and just end up hurting people.

My entire work has this now, so HELLO AND WELCOME!! I will probably not be posting much, due to the fact I am on vacation with Boyfriend who is only visiting for a few short weeks, and who will be returning to Korea.

He arrived safely, and is now sleeping.

Thank you for visiting, and since you're here, you might as well go to my Facebook page at Facebook.com/anaveragealyssa and give it a like.

Um Monumental moment

Blurb my brain:
BOYFRIEND IS HERE!! that's all I want or need to say about today. Sorry to disappoint. ;)

CONTEST

YOU WIN!


Blurb My Brain:
Actually, you lose.  I am talking about the CONTEST! you guys totally aren't doing.  lol. Seriously, I have NO guesses as to the post mentioned in the CONTEST!? I will continue to capitalize CONTEST until I have a CONTEST winner.  Or maybe I will do a CONTEST of the month, rather than the week.  I tend to get ahead of myself, so assuming I had enough of you Readers for a CONTEST every week, it a bit pompous.  Sorry.  But Yeah, so go to the CONTEST page, and comment on the CONTEST, and it probably wouldn't be very difficult since I happen to have a search bar.  Dang. Can this CONTEST get any easier?

In case you haven't figured out, I've made every CONTEST in this post a direct link to the CONTEST so you cannot possibly be confused.  I do it because I love all you anonymous people.

Side Note: remember me talking about a business opportunity? Well, my coworker finally emailed me. ;) I had not received my working iPhone yet, so I didn't get to post it right away.  But anyway, he is a part of the entertainers (strippers) I am telling you right now to check out.  Their facebook page is here, and if you are a fan of MY facebook page, you'll see that I promoted them there too.  I even took the time to like them from my page, which is an extra three clicks.  But it was worth it, so check it out.

Define Weird

Blurb My Brain:

Let me preface this post with: I really don't actually care.  No, Readers I don't give any fucks. I do not know how to quantify just the number of fucks I don't give.  But there is a person at work, who I have been informed does not like me. *GASPS FROM THE CROWD* Now, I'm pretty average, as I like to claim.  So when I heard that I was called "weird" by this coworker, I got to thinking. Because thinking is like all I ever do. So what does she (that's the key word. girls are so catty) know about me that could make me weird?

1. I come from Germany.
2. I occasionally speak German without thinking.
3. I have no friends due to #1. 
4. I worked for the US government.
5. I used #2 to help with #4.
6. I was at one time a chemist.
7. I would rather be heat burned than chemically burned, due to #6.  
8. I acknowledge my coworkers when they tell me they are out of things. 
9. I sing while I work. 
10. I dance while bored.
11. I smile when I can.
12. I blog (she may not actually know this one though)
13. I make sure I am doing things correctly, and therefore if you correct me, I take it to heart.
14. I don't argue when people tell me to do things at work.
15. I have conversations with people.
16. I don't eat the pickles off the assembly line, or eat any other food while I am working.
17. I have a boyfriend. 
18. I have not seen boyfriend in 7 months. 
19. My boyfriend lives 4300 miles away.
20. I like My Chemical Romance and Blink 182.
21. I like to travel.
22. I use gloves to handle raw beef and raw chicken, and tongs to handle the cooked beef and chicken. 
23. Also, because of #1, I have no car, and need to be dropped off at work.  

I think that's all she could possibly know about me. Most of these things are not weird, but rather quite awesome. What do you guys think? Am I weird?  

Awesomeness ensues

Blurb My Brain:
Today was nice and normal.  I woke up. I slept with my brother. Wait that sounds bad.  I took a nap with Patrick(? does that sound better?), and then we went shopping for Patrick's birthday gift.  I got him a giant green crayon piggy bank (the thing is seriously like 4 feet tall), a learning game for his Leapster thing, and a set of bowling pins and balls.  Just a word of advice, for all you people out there (all 50 of you): don't bring a kid into Toys R Us with any intention of spending less than $20.  I was planning on spending at least 40 on the kid, since I spent close to $100 on the other brother for his Seahawks Jersey.  But Patrick wanted like everything in the store.

Then we went to Target and a couple other stores to look for a frog cake pan for his birthday.  No success.  But while at Target, I bought my halloween costume. And. . . cue rant: How come Target has NO adult costumes? They had maybe 10-20 kids costumes and about 30 toddler/baby costumes, but NO adult costumes.  All the adult costumes were were like accessories that you could eventually turn into stinking costumes.  And the other day when I looked at costumes, all the female costumes were slutty.  Seriously, why is there a need to turn a friggen Ghostbuster's costume into a skanky costume? I can't wear a ghostbusters costume to work that shows my cleavage! And I don't want to get my boobs all greasy (or burn them for that matter) while working the grill, which I will inevitably be doing.  What the heck?! Last year I bought a Devil Costume, and I had to buy an EXTRA LARGE just so it would be semi-decent.  And I know, I make it sound like I'm a fatty, but I am really BARELY a large, and often wear MEDIUM, so I shouldn't have to wear an extra large so that I am not showing the world my boobs or my butt.  URG! Maybe if I were a HUGE slut, I would LOVE halloween, and have like 17 different costumes. But as it is, I am just not.

SO ANYWAY, i am retiring the shift key for just a few minutes.  after the target experience, where i ultimately decided on a ladybug wing/antenna/bow set for 8 bucks, we ate at the food place there.  it was pretty cheap, and decent as far as food from shopping stores goes.  then I came back home and saw that someone wanted to sell me his iphone 16gb for 350 bucks.  i can't tell you how excited that made me. that is about half price.  so tomorrow i go pick it up at the verizon store.  THAT MEANS I CAN TAKE PICTURES AND HAVE IT ON MY VACATION AND NOT PACK ANOTHER CAMERA!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry, it was Caps worthy.  I promise to finish this post out with decent capsing.

And then Boyfriend posted "the final countdown" on my page, and awesomeness ensued.  I got to play the word "boner" in words with friends.  My life is going well. Please don't mess it up.  

Average Amount of Alyssa Anger

Things We Say:
COME ON! YOU'RE HOLE IS BIG ENOUGH, COME OUT ALREADY!--Christian about a fry bag

How you doin' back there, Red?--Cameron
Oh, alright I guess, Just burning my hand in multiple places, and grilling my fingerprints off my pointer finger--Me

Get back to your side! I might need a restraining order on you!--Christian
But I was just trying to drop your buns, and do other duties! How would that even work, we work together all the time, and grill is literally 3 feet from assembly--Me

A big pole.--Christian

I am having a vision, where Grill and Assembly. . . . sweep and mop.--Cameron
I really thought it was going to go differently, like "I have a vision, where Grill and Assembly, come together..."--Christian

English lesson for the day...Strike any familiar chords?? No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is a difference. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ---COMPLETELY FINISHED!


Blurb My Brain:


So today must have been where yesterday sucked all the awesomeness from.  Today was stupid and lame.  I got up, ate breakfast, and had an idea to call all the local pawn shops to see if someone turned in my iPhone.  Well, the third or fourth pawn shop told me that they are required to check in with the police before accepting an iPhone.  Therefore, someone would eventually contact me if my iPhone showed up.  Then I got dressed, and went to work.  Where I happened to burn myself repeatedly. Repeatedly.  I think my burn count for the day is 7 for my pointer finger, and a pretty bad burn on my palm, and a bad burn on the upper knuckle of my pinky.  I was bossed around by a coworker, and I did what he said because I am more capable than he is.  I guess.  That's what I am telling myself to feel better.  I mopped and swept his area, (that sounds dirty) dropped him buns when he was falling behind and talking to the other coworkers, and made a few sandwiches.  But no big deal, I need the practice, that's for sure.

So then I get off work, and we pick up dad, and go to a restaurant called "the Rusty Moose" which is pretty good.  I had a turkey sandwich and a bowl of potato soup. That stuff was the bomb.  I mean, for me it is hard to screw up potato soup, but I'm telling you, it was amazing.  It wasn't watery, and it was delicious. As was my "pineapple express" which tasted like orange juice, because it had pineapple and orange rum in it.

Luckily I have tomorrow off.  So I am going to be spending it shopping. With Money I don't have.  Woo.  I need to go on vacation. ha.

Ambidextrous

Blurb My Brain:
So a well known fact, Readers, is that I am right handed.  But when I was younger, I broke my right thumb and was in a cast for a few months. (that's actually a good story) In this time, I practiced using my left hand for everything.  I basically had no choice.  So I got fairly decent at writing with my left hand, and now, sometimes I sign things with my left hand, or if I'm on my phone and writing I will write with my left hand.  But I like to take great pride in my ambidextrousity, even if most of the time I forget that I am.  Except today when I looked down at my laptop keyboard.  You know how you can often guess someone's password if they haven't changed their keyboard in a long time? (no? that's just me? well now you know too.  Don't go hacking someone though. That's not nice.  And I saw it on a tv show once, I swear.) Well, my keyboard is pretty evenly worn out.  Maybe it's because I frequently use all the letters of the alphabet.  But the key that looks like I use the most (and I guess it's understandable as to why) is the space bar.

This key is in mint condition, on 50% of the bar.  Specifically the left side of the bar.  So I'm a right spacer.  This sparked the curiosity kitty, and I looked at my keyboard again and realized that I am a LEFT shifter.  Yes, I apparently am ambidextrous in all ways including typing.  SCORE.  Then I was thinking about it more, and thought that I should try to switch things up a bit, and be a LEFT spacer, and a RIGHT shifter.  My head promptly exploded.  You see, I generally type at about 50-60 words per minute.  Whilst switching it up, I guesstimate my typing speed to be slower than 30 words per minute.  My mind had to stop and think about something that is just so natural now.

So have you ever decided to stop and think about something that you frequently do, and just analyze it? What kind of things do you do this to? Driving? Cooking? Baking? Writing?

Also, get over to my facebook page and "like" me today! 

RIP iPhone

Blurb My Brain:

Sometimes I swear I am in the wrong field.  My iPhone was stolen today. No big deal, I had insurance on the phone, right? Nope. I was too poor at the time. I couldn't afford it.  No big deal, I had that nifty "Find My iPhone" feature.  OOPS! Clicked the wrong button and wiped my phone instead and therefore I can't find it anymore. Ugh.

So I am not going to lie.  I MOURNED the loss of my iPhone.  MOURNED it.  I am just not feeling like being witty, or funny, or even writing.  I just want to get the next week out of the way. 

Smelling my way through life

Things We Say:
(503): College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

I thought that red hat society was a sorority. -me
What are the requirements for initiation? A broken hip? --my mom
Lol. No, just an entire wardrobe of red and purple and you have to know 3 cookie recipes by heart--SarahWithTheH. This is why she is my business partner.

Blurb my brain:
Hey guys, Alyssa here. I guess today is technically the first day of fall. It wasn't much cooler today than it's been. And although it's a semi monumental day, I had a very average day. Took a shower, got my food handlers permit, babysat Patrick while Mom got her hair cut, then we looked in Yankee candle.

I am telling you, Readers, my strongest sense and therefore my biggest weakness is smell. I actually go so far as to tie certain smells to times in my life. For instance, every time I smell banana bread I imagine I am back in Saint Louis. Smelling Midsummers night from Yankee Candle: Germany. Old Spice: Boyfriend's apartment. Axe Phoenix: different Boyfriend and early high school.

And sometimes I get a whiff of something an I have no idea what the smell is. And even though I don't know what the smell is, a certain place pops into my mind. Warm vanilla sugar: junior year in high school.

Am I the only one wired like this? Am I the only one whose nose has a direct link to a specific time of the persons life? Maybe that's why I rub my nose so much. I have to adjust to he memory being stored via scent channels.

Any way, after Yankee we walked around some more, and then picked up Jon and got groceries, then I got my butt in the car and drove to work. Then I ran the grill (again) and got off work, got my Fruit and Walnut salad, and my Fruit and Yoghurt parfait.

Then I skyped with Boyfriend about my day, and I kept thinking: he probably thinks I am high since I am not saying much, and I sound like crap.

Now I am laying in bed, Readers. I will be going to sleep shortly. :)

Nostalgia

Things We Say:
"Imaging the future is a kind of nostalgia" - John Green (Looking For Alaska)


Blurb In My Brain:
It's always strange looking at life through someone else's point of view. Let me explain.

Tonight I went with my father to the Newly Restored Peabody Opera house. This used to be the old Kiel Opera house in downtown St. Louis. My dad and his father used to sell tickets in the St. Louis area for basically all the major events (The Opera House, what is now the Scott Trade Center, the convention center, and all the events downtown). So, the old Kiel Opera house is a familiar place for my father. And so tonight was the grand reopening after it's been remodeled.

They were showing some movie on the Prohibition that is going to be on PBS next month, but we really didn't buy tickets to see the movie, we got tickets to see the building. And let me tell you, they just don't make buildings like they used to. I could tell that Dad was just retracing old steps, and he expected his dad to come around the corner at any moment.

Of course, my dad spent the whole time bitching about the new changes to the box office, the terrible window designs and the new carpeting, but there was also a lot of laughter. Reminiscing about the nights when he would leave at 2am with a suitcase full of $60,000 like he was some kind of mobster, or having every key to the building, and taking my mother up to the roof to watch the fireworks at the arch. As we were walking out of the building, my dad turned to take another look at the building and says in a small voice "This is where I was really happy"

It made me wonder what places I'll want to revisit and think "Yeah, this is where I was truly happy" and it makes me wonder about how different my life will be without my dad.

Anyway, these are my deep pondering thoughts for the evening.

Also, if you would like, become a fan of the Facebook page. Details in the Contact tab above! :)

Movin on up

Things We Say:
You took me to the mommy store so I could pick her out!--Patrick to Dad


Blurb my brain:
I may not be going to the east side but I think I am moving up. I spent a fair chunk of my shift on grill. Then the last two hours roughly, I spent doing assembly. I messed up a bit, but learned somewhat quickly. From the discussions between the employees and managers, it sounds like I am replacing a guy who used to have an open schedule but now that he is goin to school his availability has changed. No big deal for me, since I want to work as many hours as possible.

One of my coworkers is cute, and he helped train me on assembly. Thankfully Sundays are kinda slow so I didn't feel too pressured. Plus, I had a cheat sheet if I turkeynecked it. Also, I got to watch a coworker empty the grease traps on the side of the grill. Made me not want to eat a cheeseburger ever again. But then 20 seconds later, a free one came up and I pounced on that. I am still a college kid. Gimme a break.

I think I have been made though, Readers. Remember how I said I wanted to keep Boyfriend on the downlow simply because I don't want to make them think I am leaving, and therefore risk my hours being cut?  (**)Well Coworker saw my ring and was like "wait, you're married? Is that a wedding ring?" and I thought "FUCK!" but I instead said, "no it's a regular ring that my Boyfriend gave me" and then turned around and clocked out. I am going to avoid telling them Boyfriend is in Korea. Maybe if they ask why they never see him, I can say he doesn't live around here. Lol. I have to work on partial truth telling.

**EDIT**
Looking back, I realized I actually never explained that. Readers, you KNOW how much I love Boyfriend.  I mean, look how many times he's been tagged.  And I can't even BEGIN to explain how excited I am to see him again in a couple weeks.  But I had decided that I was going to refrain bringing him up while at my new job.  Last time I was open and honest with my boss, it ended up that I got screwed over because my boss wouldn't hire me for only 6 more additional months.  So this time, I decided that I need to make my private life A LOT more private.  I'm not going to tell them anything about my hopes or dreams, or give them any excuse to cut my hours as a punishment for leaving, especially when I don't know if or when I will be leaving. Nicht gut fuer mein geldtasche.

Still, I feel a little bad that I'm not bringing him up more.  It's not like I'm hiding it, but I'm just trying to protect my future. That's not bad, right?

Firsty Firsty Firsty

Things We Say:
I want to go to sleep. Ahhhhhhh!! Yelling might not be helping. --chris

The bad thing about goin to Subway while in the US: Black forest ham makes me miss Germany.--me

Bridge is like sex. You better have a good partner, or a good hand. --the guy on Storage Wars
Or a partner with a good hand--Sarah

Dear Santa, how much for the list with all the naughty girls on it? Signed, teenage boy--Jeff

Blurb My Brain:

So today was my first official day of work, since last night I did all of my computer training, and they didn't know what to do with me so they sent me home an hour early (which was rather pointless, since I had to wait for Dad to come pick me up [Sarah made fun of me, saying that I'm basically 16 (I know right?) which is funny because that night the manager asked if I was over 18. Sheesh, at least I look young?]). Dad had to drop me off on his lunch break, so I showed up to the shopping center a full 3.5 hours before my shift. Luckily I had some banking, and shopping to do, so I was only an hour early. They even let me start early. So anyway. Today, I got put right on the grill. I will spare you all the greasy details, but I will say, that scraping the grill's grease off every time gets mighty annoying. All in all, I got to be the big meat preparer today, and that was. . . average! The girl who trained me, Stephanie, was super nice, and we kinda chit chatted between grease scrapings. lol.

I think the highlight of my day was towards the end where I was talking to one of the managers, Stephen, and he told me to cuss him out in German. I didn't actually curse him out, just said he was small in the pants. So then I taught him some basic Denglish, or as I call it, Germish. It was fun, but I was off work. I worked 3 hours and 56 minutes today. I don't know how that happened because I clocked in 5 minutes early and only went 1 minute over on my 10 minute break. Wait. Nevermind. That makes sense.

The second highlight of my day was seeing Sarah's first entry. I hope you guys liked it too. I even told her that if I could, I would pay her. But as it is, I'm about 45 dollars in the hole, and I don't feel it fair to make her go halfsies on negative profit. I think she did a great job though. :)

The lowlight of my day: burning myself TWICE. Stupid grills being so damn hot, and stupid burger patties not landing where I accurately assumed they would land. GR! But honestly, I'll take a couple heat burns to chemical burns any day.

Welcome the SarahWithTheH

Things We Say:
"But if my spoon crop doesn't do well, then I won't have any money to feed my family... and what will they eat with?"


"Living in Missouri can kind of be like time travel. This week feels like October but next week is supposed to feel like July" - My dad


Blurb in My Brain:

Hello readers (and apparently a good portion of China), I am this Sarah you've heard so much about. I have been given the power to post on A3, and what do we do with power? We abuse it! Okay, just kidding, but I do hope to occasionally post when I have clever, or average things to talk about.

My question you you today, is What is a "Couple's Shower"? I mean, I get that it's like a bridal shower, but the husband goes too. But, what do you get then? Especially considering that the couple in question already live together, so they don't need towels or silverware or anything like that.

I'm in that age where it seems like everyone I know is getting married and/or having babies. There's lots of showers and gift giving etiquette and since I was raised by wolves (likely more on that some other time) I'm pretty lost on all most all of it. Also, do you go to the couple's shower if you hate the bride to be?

Trolls, Toys, Texting, and Talent

Things We Say:
(917): you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Me: you know you are in a long distance relationship when you start investing in them.

If I could take two words out of the male vocabulary it'd be titties and hun--Regina.

My friend called me a Hausfrau and I told him I don't clean.--me to Boyfriend
A Putzfrau is a cleaning lady--michelle

Careful! You squeeze the head too much and you are gonna make it squirt!--my father talking about a water bottle.

Blurb My Brain:
So I don't know what you all did today, but I bet you I did less. Yes. Less. I think the only thing I did today worth mentioning was that I made a sammich. Well. Three sammiches. And I talked to Boyfriend. Other than that, I updated and virus scanned my laptop.

You know, normally people wouldn't say that doing less is an accomplishment. I think it is a success. I mean how awesome is it that I got to spend the last day of smelling Grease Free by developing lazy stomach marks? For those of you wondering, LSM come from when you sit improperly in a chair or on a couch or lay in bed, and your poor posture forms a crease. Come on. I am not saying I am fat. Because I am not. But I am saying that I have poor posture when I am decidedly being lazy.

Speaking of being lazy, I start work tomorrow night. Oh yeah, 5-9 training, here I come. :)

You know what else I don't understand? Trolls. That's all. I will not get into it. Sorry.

Oh! Also: I have a new business partner. Her name is Sarah. I have employed her as my text-receiver. This literally means nothing to you guys. Except that Things We Say will now be updated more easily. It is so much easier to send the funny quote to her and then copy and paste it later here. :) in case you are wondering here is the new blogger app.

In the future we may see more posts from Sarah. We will see. Lol.