Blurb My Brain:
So I have been sick, as noted before, but when I am sick, I always have nightmares. The first night of me being sick, I dreamed that Fiance broke up with me. Or, rather, that he was planning on doing so. So you are aware, I have not done anything to warrant a breakup. But for some reason, I dreamed he was talking to his best man, who was saying it is always better to break up before you are actually married (which of course is true to some extent) but then I woke up and thought "WHY!?!?" I remember telling Fiance the same things I have said to him before, but this time he would not listen to me. Scary. And then I thought about what would happen if we were to break up, and I was very angry. I thought of all the things that I could have done differently if I were to have been single (and since Fiance does read this, I will clarify that I am meaning strictly career-wise) such as stayed in Germany and continued to work for the government. So I realized just how glad that I am that Fiance and I are not broken up, and still are very much so engaged.
Then the second dream that I had involved work, which is nearly as important as Fiance. Nearly. After all, I am trying to make rent and pay for part of a wedding, you know. So anyway, I was at work, which was like an apartment or something, and I couldn't get the phones to work. My coworker was a guy who worked in the weather squadron in Germany, and he was sitting on the computer doing something which wasn't work related. The phones were ringing like crazy, and we kept having dropped calls. Then we got a call on the "danger phone" (which doesn't exist in real life, by the way) and I was on the line with a customer so I couldn't go answer the phone. Then the danger phone rang again, and I couldn't figure out how to answer it. Turns out, it was like a giant entertainment center, and there were 3 different phones, and I couldn't answer the right one at the right time. Therefore, I got an email saying I was fired. I was costing the bank too much money, and they let me go. I was so upset.
I swear, being sick is the stupidest thing, because I have these stupid dreams. I have vivid and stupid dreams regularly, that's no different. It's the stupid ones where I wake up scared for my life, my love, or my living that I hate.
You know what else angers me? Infidelity. If you are going to have the balls to cheat on your significant other, you better have the balls to tell them it's over. I read on Texts from Last Night that a guy was "yelling at [a girl] for not attending his wedding last month in between making out with [her]". Sleazy. That is not funny. I am sure the wife is loving that marriage. When I get married, I'm doing it once, and I'm doing it right. Isn't that how love and marriage should be? Infidelity should not be a laughing matter, nor should it be in the media. Yes you, Kim Kardashian, or Ashton (I still find you sexy though AK). If anyone has been the victim of infidelity, the accused of infidelity, or the friend of either case of infidelity knows that cheating is not a laughing matter. Tears people apart, both in friendships and in marriages. Stupid shit, really. And I think it makes me mad when people do this, and they have vested time in a relationship. Seriously? You've been together for 4+ years, and you ruin it with one person? That's always an important factor for me, I mean, I love Fiance more than anyone I have ever loved in my life, and to give all the time that I've spent with him up because of one person? FORGET IT. This is probably a rant similar to one I posted last year but it still irks me.
So I have been sick, as noted before, but when I am sick, I always have nightmares. The first night of me being sick, I dreamed that Fiance broke up with me. Or, rather, that he was planning on doing so. So you are aware, I have not done anything to warrant a breakup. But for some reason, I dreamed he was talking to his best man, who was saying it is always better to break up before you are actually married (which of course is true to some extent) but then I woke up and thought "WHY!?!?" I remember telling Fiance the same things I have said to him before, but this time he would not listen to me. Scary. And then I thought about what would happen if we were to break up, and I was very angry. I thought of all the things that I could have done differently if I were to have been single (and since Fiance does read this, I will clarify that I am meaning strictly career-wise) such as stayed in Germany and continued to work for the government. So I realized just how glad that I am that Fiance and I are not broken up, and still are very much so engaged.
Then the second dream that I had involved work, which is nearly as important as Fiance. Nearly. After all, I am trying to make rent and pay for part of a wedding, you know. So anyway, I was at work, which was like an apartment or something, and I couldn't get the phones to work. My coworker was a guy who worked in the weather squadron in Germany, and he was sitting on the computer doing something which wasn't work related. The phones were ringing like crazy, and we kept having dropped calls. Then we got a call on the "danger phone" (which doesn't exist in real life, by the way) and I was on the line with a customer so I couldn't go answer the phone. Then the danger phone rang again, and I couldn't figure out how to answer it. Turns out, it was like a giant entertainment center, and there were 3 different phones, and I couldn't answer the right one at the right time. Therefore, I got an email saying I was fired. I was costing the bank too much money, and they let me go. I was so upset.
I swear, being sick is the stupidest thing, because I have these stupid dreams. I have vivid and stupid dreams regularly, that's no different. It's the stupid ones where I wake up scared for my life, my love, or my living that I hate.
You know what else angers me? Infidelity. If you are going to have the balls to cheat on your significant other, you better have the balls to tell them it's over. I read on Texts from Last Night that a guy was "yelling at [a girl] for not attending his wedding last month in between making out with [her]". Sleazy. That is not funny. I am sure the wife is loving that marriage. When I get married, I'm doing it once, and I'm doing it right. Isn't that how love and marriage should be? Infidelity should not be a laughing matter, nor should it be in the media. Yes you, Kim Kardashian, or Ashton (I still find you sexy though AK). If anyone has been the victim of infidelity, the accused of infidelity, or the friend of either case of infidelity knows that cheating is not a laughing matter. Tears people apart, both in friendships and in marriages. Stupid shit, really. And I think it makes me mad when people do this, and they have vested time in a relationship. Seriously? You've been together for 4+ years, and you ruin it with one person? That's always an important factor for me, I mean, I love Fiance more than anyone I have ever loved in my life, and to give all the time that I've spent with him up because of one person? FORGET IT. This is probably a rant similar to one I posted last year but it still irks me.
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