The Slowju Dragon

Blurb my brain:
My last 24 hours were rough. Fiancé and I went out drinking and my cocky ass wasn't afraid of the Soju Monster. As I described it this morning, Soju is a clear alcoholic drink invented by the Koreans to punish American tourists by turning them into fire breathing dragons for several hours after ingesting. A monster it definitely is. I have no idea how many I drank, but I know I drank TOO MANY. My face has been in the bucket for the last 12 hours.

But Fiancé is a fantastic guy. He rubbed my back, held my hair and cleaned out my bucket a couple times. He even checked me for a pulse. It annoys me when he calls me names and makes fun of me for being a drunk mess, but the bottom line is that he took care of me. He TAKES care of me. So I put up with the jokes bc I am just so happy I have him to take care of me.

If you are reading this, Fiancé, just know I am very appreciative of all you do for me. I love you.

Camseneda!

Blurb my brain:
I have arrived in Seoul, South Korea. The last flight was long and awful, and I am fairly certain it was the airplane sushi (that just sounds like a disaster). It may have been the rough landing, the sheer exhaustion, or the claustrophobia, but it's just as easy to blame me getting super nauseous on the sushi.

I never eat sushi.

But arriving in Seoul was cool, and Asia is such a different environment. I know, duh!

Fiancé was going to show up in a suit with a bunch of roses, but couldn't get a jacket warm enough to go over the 3 piece suit. Well, I think he looked fucking awesome either way, and he smelled about 25 times better than I did. I had 24 full hours of traveling, which vanished in thin air somewhere before hawaii. Give me a break.

Then we get to the hotel and it is like a mini NYC, bc of all the lights. NYC where the signs all have sticks and stones instead of the Roman alphabet. It's so cool.

Today we are going to do some sightseeing, and I can't wait. Pics will be posted. :) camseneda readers for sharing the excitement! (that's poorly spelled Korean for thank you)

Konichiwa

Blurb my brain:
Well hello. Nice of you to join me over the Pacific Ocean. ;) ok, so there is no wifi over the ocean, so I am posting this after I land, but still, it's quite the intro if you ask me.

I woke up at 415 this morning to be at the airport by 530. I was mistaken, because I thought that my flight left at 8, but it didn't leave until 840. I got my nap on the bench, then woke up to see two plane fulls of people in the waiting area. Lol. Better slightly early than 12 hours early like a guy I saw check in at the gate.

The first flight to Portland was fast. It was about an hour long, with a 2 hour layover but technically it was 1 hour because I boarded the plane an hour early. We also took off early, so the captain said we should arrive early. Yay, the 12.5 hour flight is now a 12 hour flight.

I am super excited to see Fiancé again. It hasn't been that long since I last saw him, and I think this part of his tour has been so much faster, but it still is nice to be able to say I will see him tomorrow. :) see you tonight is my next goal.

I will probably add on to this post, since I have about 10 hours left of this flight, and am going to use the last half to sleep.

And I am back, with about half an hour left of flight until I get to Tokyo. I have been sleeping, if that's what you call laying in fetal position scrunched to fit in my seat and the one next to me which is free. I have also been talking to a boy named Brandon. He is 6.5 years old, in the first grade, and has entirely too much energy for having survived a 12 hour flight. He taught me some things that I did not know. Apparently you can kill a zombie by strapping explosives to his body, while somehow magically escaping his clutches of brain eating hunger. Also, the world spins so that is why it only takes 12 hours to fly to Japan.

Talking with him almost makes me sad. Patrick is a year away from this kind of excitement and energy. Granted, Patrick tells me all kinds of things that have and do make it to the blog. But what makes me sad is that I am leaving my house soon, off to be a Missus, and I will not get to see my brother act this way.

I will have to settle for phone conversations about Optimus Prime being Megatron's brother. :/ sad day indeed.

Ugly Sweaters And Merry Cursemuch

Blurb My Brain!
EXCITEMENT!
LOUD NOISES!
So basically, I am super excited for tomorrow. Yes, it is Christmas Eve, but isn't that why it is so awesome? NO! What's awesome is my fricken ugly sweater which is belligerent. I am talking jingle bells down the sleeves, and santa fricken trim kind of belligerent.  I'm pretty stoked, and think that I have the ugliest ugly sweater in the entire US right now.  AND I MADE IT! Lesson on an average Alyssa. . .
I taught myself how to sew.  I'm not very good at it, but I get the job done.  Well, with the exception that the stinking bells kept falling off today, and I think I've sewed them all on a couple times.  hah. But the point is, I taught myself how to sew and generally don't sew on any typical regular basis.
So my sweater is ugly.
Ribbon christmas tree, using red and green plaid to cover up the golfer.
Actual christmas tree ornaments which HANG off the sweater.
JINGLE FRICKEN BELLS, 24 on each sleeve (when they are all attached. lol)
and POOF BALL garland.

Belligerent. Love it.

The best part was that an email came out yesterday saying to wear the ugliest christmas sweater you own to work today.  So I spent the rest of that night, on the phones and sewing my ugly sweater.  I get to work to find out that it was a joke, and that we were just suppose to wear holiday colors.  Well, me and two other people still wore ours.  Talk about AWESOME!

I don't think I have ever been this proud of an ugly shirt.  Makes me miss those pineapple shirts.  Does anyone still own one?

And in case for some reason I forget, or don't post. . . . MERRY CURSEMUCH ERRYBODY!

School, Orientation and Leaders

Blurb My Brain:
I feel as though I may explode from the amount of stress I am under.  With the semester wrapping up, I had my final to take, and I'll be honest, I kind of half assed it.  I feel this professor did not do a good job with the curriculum, and I know what I am about to say will sound crazy.  I was unhappy with the final he administered. I am all for writing essays in class, but I believe that the midterms and finals should be a comprehensive test.  I am fine with an essay test if it were to cover topics covered throughout the class, but this exam was an "application" test, where I apply what I "learned" to improve the security of a fake company.  I mean, fine, application test away, but where did the multiple choice tests go? The definition questions? So I am upset because I didn't get a test where I could look throughout the book to find the answers.  I think this contributed to the stress, because if something is too easy, it probably is.

Secondly, I'm having a rough time at the job.  I feel as though I am not grasping things as well as I should be, and that my job performance is sub-par compared to the other employees.  I'm probably just stressing myself out over nothing, but I just feel that I don't get the good customer feed-back that I feel other people get.  Jealous? A little.  But I'm not vindictive, as other people might be in the same situation, I'm paranoid.  I am paranoid that while under my 90 day orientation the bosses will get tired of my little mistakes and fire me. And the gut feeling I've been having since Friday really hasn't helped matters.

Third, Kim Jong Il died on Sunday.  This means very little to many Americans, as many call him Kim Jong II, which is like Kim Jong the Second.  But to me, it kind of hits home.  I'm very worried for Fiance, even if he isn't worried.  I'm worried that Kim Jong Un will do something unpredictable, and something terrible might happen because of it.  Maybe this also has to do with the fact that I'm going to Seoul? I don't know. I am just a nervous wreck right now, and my body is showing it. Down 3% body fat, and 4 pounds in 3 days. I am sure it isn't my dieting/exercise.

Tell me everything will be alright?

Drivers

Blurb My Brain:
Rant alert: drivers are idiotic.

So I work until 9pm, ride the bus for about 20 minutes and then have a 30 minute commute. On this commute there are several windy roads twisting along the river. Twisty roads = no passing zones. Each of these twisty roads has a speed limit of at least 35mph. I managed to get behind not only one but TWO IDIOTS tonight. The first didn't realize that the speed limit was 50 for most of the way. We went 20 the whole time, maybe getting up to 35 if we were lucky. The second guy, license plate 202 YVV decided to swerve left and right. And his swerves didn't even coincide with the curves of the Twisty roads. Twice he almost got hit, because he was halfway in the oncoming lane. I laid on my horn to warn him, but more importantly the on comers. Just what I need at this time losing my ride because of idiots. Ugh

#end rant#

Date night

Blurb my brain:
I have a date this weekend. We are going to go to Red Lobster, maybe have a glass or wine or something and if I am lucky maybe we can go out dancing or something else after that. Maybe I can even crash at their house.

No, this is not a date with Fiancé. In fact, it isn't even with a boy. It is with a girl whom I met at a party. This party was a cookie exchange party, not some drunk fest. Ha.

But still, I am excited. It's like I told Bus Buddy, I think this is going to be the start of my social life. It's always hard to uproot your whole life, and starting social lives can be very difficult in a town like mine, inhabited by Campers. It's always been an issue with me. It is hard to squeeze into cliques and partake in their jokes and humor when they have been humoring for their whole lives.

But, of course, things like this take time, money, and patience (of which I have none). So fingers crossed Average Army (I am dubbing you guys that unless you come up with a better name [and judging by the complete lack of participants in CONTEST!! I think no one will object (but please prove me wrong)]) that this "date" will be successful, and I will have someone I can hang out with regularly. It's only going to benefit you because then the Things We Say and Featured Randoms will come back more frequently.

Bus buddies

Blurb my brain:
One day I think I may die. I have my bus buddy, we'll call him Bus Buddy. Bus Buddy hasn't been riding the bus lately, and I had joked around with Fiancé saying I scared him off.

Bus Buddy rode the bus today, and we had another great conversation on the ride home, and I told him about The Camper. I had encountered the Camper on my way into work today, when I was thinking, "COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLDturntowalkyoustupidsignIamfreezingmyeverlovingassoff." all I heard was "aren't you running late?" and I turned around all confused as to who knew my schedule. Turns out it was the camper. So if I die, he is the first suspect. Ha.

Anyway, I was glad that Bus Buddy did not find me creepy and that I had not scared him away. And if he ever reads this post I hope to god he realizes I am just bored and lonely for friends rather than a crazy stalker.

I haven't even searched for him on Facebook.

Averagely awesome!!!

Blurb my brain:
So I struck up another conversation with a stranger on the bus. This guy was a couple years older than me, had his sunglasses on, and was what I call the camper.
The camper was born, raised and will die in his birth city. The Camper has no intention of ever leaving his birth city, and has no desire to see the rest of the world.

I am the anti-camper. I haven't been to my birth city since my parents moved 20 years ago. I have visited 13 countries, nearly half the states, and plan on seeing as much of the world as I can before I die.

How do people not travel? I realize I am like Carmen SanDiego (not the whales vagina) but how do people not want to travel? How can you say you haven't wanted to see the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, the Roman Colosseum, real castles of Germany?

People, the inspiration for this blog

Things We Say:
I am tired--woman
You're tired?--man
I stayed in Ana's room for 2 hours last night.--woman
Wow. A whole two hours. I am sure that killed you--me in my head
I passed out with my head slouched against the wall. Maybe that's why my back hurts.--woman
maybe it's the insane amount of weight you carry because you are so fat--me again in my head.

Blurb my brain:
So I am sitting on the bus, convinced I am going to die. The driver is driving safely, that's not the issue. It's that the fat family sitting next to me smells like baby puke, baby shit, and McDonald's. Not the good kind of McDonald's either, where it comes fresh and hot on the tray. These people smell like the grease bucket you have to empty into the waste can. Oh it's awful.

Bus buddy didn't ride the bus today. I saw a car similar to his drive past the bus stop, which makes me think maybe he is driving in to work. This does make me look like a stalker but it isn't the case.

Oh thank you Jesus they got off the bus.

Then this boy starts talking to me about being bad at relationships. Even said something about the moth and the flame. Then I did some shameless plugging for the blog and he said something about not doing facebook with people he isn't friends with. Lol.

Back to Average

Blurb my brain:
So I am back to working out regularly. It's nice, minus my muscles begging me to skip. The first week is always hard, and I am proud of just how much sweat I am burning by working out. And once the endorphins kick in, you just feel so beastly.

And as amazing as that feels, there is something that feels better. May even feel better than our favorite adult horizontal dancing. Cleaning your ears with a Q-Tip. I definitely spend more time than is necessary to clean my ears. I mean like 20 seconds per ear, more time than is necessary. Just another look into my average life.

Infidelity and Other Such Nightmares

Blurb My Brain:
So I have been sick, as noted before, but when I am sick, I always have nightmares.  The first night of me being sick, I dreamed that Fiance broke up with me.  Or, rather, that he was planning on doing so.  So you are aware, I have not done anything to warrant a breakup.  But for some reason, I dreamed he was talking to his best man, who was saying it is always better to break up before you are actually married (which of course is true to some extent) but then I woke up and thought "WHY!?!?" I remember telling Fiance the same things I have said to him before, but this time he would not listen to me.  Scary.  And then I thought about what would happen if we were to break up, and I was very angry.  I thought of all the things that I could have done differently if I were to have been single (and since Fiance does read this, I will clarify that I am meaning strictly career-wise) such as stayed in Germany and continued to work for the government.  So I realized just how glad that I am that Fiance and I are not broken up, and still are very much so engaged.

Then the second dream that I had involved work, which is nearly as important as Fiance.  Nearly.  After all, I am trying to make rent and pay for part of a wedding, you know.  So anyway, I was at work, which was like an apartment or something, and I couldn't get the phones to work.  My coworker was a guy who worked in the weather squadron in Germany, and he was sitting on the computer doing something which wasn't work related.  The phones were ringing like crazy, and we kept having dropped calls.  Then we got a call on the "danger phone" (which doesn't exist in real life, by the way) and I was on the line with a customer so I couldn't go answer the phone.  Then the danger phone rang again, and I couldn't figure out how to answer it.  Turns out, it was like a giant entertainment center, and there were 3 different phones, and I couldn't answer the right one at the right time.  Therefore, I got an email saying I was fired.  I was costing the bank too much money, and they let me go.  I was so upset.

I swear, being sick is the stupidest thing, because I have these stupid dreams.  I have vivid and stupid dreams regularly, that's no different.  It's the stupid ones where I wake up scared for my life, my love, or my living that I hate.

You know what else angers me? Infidelity.  If you are going to have the balls to cheat on your significant other, you better have the balls to tell them it's over.  I read on Texts from Last Night that a guy was "yelling at [a girl] for not attending his wedding last month in between making out with [her]".  Sleazy.  That is not funny.  I am sure the wife is loving that marriage.  When I get married, I'm doing it once, and I'm doing it right.  Isn't that how love and marriage should be? Infidelity should not be a laughing matter, nor should it be in the media.  Yes you, Kim Kardashian, or Ashton (I still find you sexy though AK). If anyone has been the victim of infidelity, the accused of infidelity, or the friend of either case of infidelity knows that cheating is not a laughing matter.  Tears people apart, both in friendships and in marriages.  Stupid shit, really.  And I think it makes me mad when people do this, and they have vested time in a relationship.  Seriously? You've been together for 4+ years, and you ruin it with one person? That's always an important factor for me, I mean, I love Fiance more than anyone I have ever loved in my life, and to give all the time that I've spent with him up because of one person? FORGET IT.  This is probably a rant similar to one I posted last year but it still irks me.  

In sickness and in weirdness

Blurb my brain:
So I am sick. This means nothing to you i am sure. I haven't reached fame level 12 which is when you get strangers' sympathy. Which is fine, because I find it kind of creepy. Oh thanks Joe Malone, whom I have never met, for the condolences of my dead dog. It's corny to me.

Maybe when I get to fame level 12 that will change. But most likely not.

So anyway, I decided to get a gym membership and use it this week. I was pretty proud of myself. My bank account scoffed in shame but I told it to suck it up, it will be worth it eventually.

I am used to using the military gym, which is free. And the one we had in Germany had awesome equipment. This one I use now is in a small town and they are just starting to build it up. No big deal except that it has no track, and maybe 45 machines total. Again, pretty average. But I am paying over a dollar a day to use this facility. Kind of makes me upset. So I try to work out but the treadmills are too close to the window and therefore I have to crane my neck to see the tv, and I wasn't having that, so I stared at Pickles while running.

I may have had a mental conversation with him as well.

But then I went to go do the machines and could not find the ones I was looking for. Oh well. I will figure it out eventually.

So my workout was fairly average. I worked up a sweat and then came home and showered before going to work.

The sickness has been creeping up on me, and I am blaming the fact that I have abandoned soda. My blood sugar is probably back to a healthy level and therefore my body is mad at me. But I figure I have only 5 months until Fiancé and I get married so I need to kick myself into gear.