Closet throw up...things that are the devil part 2.

Blurb My Brain:

So this is actually more of a story.  We're getting ready to move, and of course, that means packing.  My goal this week was to get the clothes I have out on the floor, and then sort through which ones I don't want/wear/need/fit into.  I was planning on doing this on Tuesday, since Monday was the wedding and all.  Tuesday comes around, and so does the tornado that is my cleaning method.  I'm JUST beginning to start sorting, when my brother answers the phone, mumbles something, and says the landlord is just coming over to take some pictures.....you know, to like sell the house and stuff.  We convince the landlord to come back in the morning because we literally have EVERYTHING out on the floors.  So then began the mad rush that is the cleaning of the house for pictures in 12 hours.  It was the first time in my life that I could get away with shoving things in drawers and closets and call it "clean."  My room looked fantastic in about two hours. 

So two days later, I get to the cleaning and sorting out and stuff.  That day is today.  So back on the floor all my clothes went, and I began separating into three piles, literally across the room.  The source pile, the keep pile, and the throw pile.  Eventually my room went from this:

which is seriously the CLEANEST my room has ever been...and then it turned into:

and so the sorting began.  I ended up with a kimono, a dirndl, three coats, a hoodie and two bags, and a pair of gloves, two pairs of slacks, three pairs of shorts, five pair gym shorts, five tank tops. I have about 20 tops for all four seasons, five to seven pants for work, and three pairs of jeans, and a couple skirts.

I'm thinking i'm going nakie/doing laundry more often.  I ended up donating 40-50 tops, four or five slacks, a couple skirts, purse, stuffed animals, and LOTS of t-shirts.  Soooo glad that's finally done.  Now to go through the junk shelf in my cabinet.... :(

Missing my beer, and not the kind you drink

Blurb My Brain:

So I stayed at a friend's house last night and someone in the house was snoring.  I woke up disappointed it wasn't my boyfriend.  That has to be the weirdest thing I'll ever say.  He's always on my mind, 17 readers.  lol.  I miss my man pretty much all the time, and sometimes it's unbearable, but other times its like a little blip in my thoughts.  I've never felt this way before.  But, I kinda like it.  The blip keeps me on my path, keeps me from doing things that I'd regret later.  All I think of is "No, I have a boyfriend, and he's awesome and there is no way this loser is going to mess that up for me" when I go out and people hit on me. lol.  So there you have it, my definition of love.

Unlike My Chemical Romance, I really am ok.

Things We Say:

I have been confused for all kinds of races.  My first supervisor swore I was from Haiti.--Mexican Chris

Maria and Chris don't have sex, it's dirty--Me
Yeah man, no sex before marriage.--Maria
We don't have sex, we fuck--Chris

My dad was a gang member in Mexico.  He had a gold car.  And pet monkeys.--Chris
Shenanigans, we all know you're Haitian--The Bruce

I don't like asses in my face.--Maria
Chris' face looks like an ass.--David Kidd
Your mom doesn't seem to mind--Chris

Chug--Chris
No, I'm taking it home.--Mirkna
No I meant your drink--Chris
Oh, yeah I am--Mirkna
How are gonna chug a schnitzel?--Chris

When it comes to my husband, when in doubt, doubt him.--Brianna

Man, the chest hair on the Bruce makes him at least 25. Don't let the braces fool you--Chris

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?--Jeff

There's something about a fuzzy pink dalmatian diaper that just screams, "This baby is a CLASS ACT," am I right? HA. Future Penny is going to hate me so hard.--Temerity Jane

If I would have known she was going to start bawling, I wouldn't have told her to chase after that taxi for the dude--Me

Maria's racist about the grey pidgeons.  She's gonna start a genocide on the gray race.--David
I was not aware that pidgeons had races... species maybe, but not races--Me
It just fits in with the fact she's german.--David

Blurb My Brain: 

So last night was my two friends' bachelor/ette party.  Somehow we were supposed to split up into the bachelor/bachelorette parties, but we ended up all hanging out at the bar and having a good time.  I got drunk, but only a nice calmed, relaxed, numb drunk.  I was happy being this drunk, but apparently I had earned the title of Debbie Downer.  I got yelled at for missing my boyfriend, (even though he really had nothing to do with it at all) and for being grumpy at the end of the night.  It was 4am, and I was just done with the night.  I was feeling sick (but unrelated to the alcohol, it was the fact I'm still recovering from whatever stomach sickness I had the previous weekend) and was getting tired.  Somehow people thought that I had a blast last weekend, but that wasn't the case.  I hated last weekend and never want another night like that again.  I finally get home and then I get to the couch and i was so excited.  But I guess I needed therapy.  


I have great friends, who have helped me with so much.  But, somehow when I said I'm ok, no one believes me.  Being in a long distance relationship sucks.  It is hard.  Knowing your loved one is in Korea and you're in Germany is hard.  But I have found a way to cope with it, and that is getting through each day as it comes.  Therefore, when I'm ready for bed, I'm ready for bed.  I'm not depressed, I haven't lost my spirit of life, I'm not missing him any more than usual, I just want to get to bed.  Maybe I should have taken the apartment keys when they offered them.  But I was fine, just nauseous, and a little annoyed with the drunken Shenanigans that were happening.  


PS: Repeating yourself gets annoying even to drunk people. 


This is just me telling you to believe me when I say I'm alright, because you should know that I'll reach out if I need help. 

Thai Massage is German for Chiropractor

Things We Say:

Man, sign you into the base, buy your stuff, and then I make you walk DOWNHILL and it's cause you are THROWING IT ALL AWAY.....--Me
I know right?--Maria
You're such a bitch to force him to get down on one knee and ask you to marry him--Me

I was unaware that "Thai Massage" actually meant chiropractor--Me

No happy endings tonight, babe--boyfriend
No, I'm more worried about them putting me in the oven, this is Germany you know. --Me

Blurb My Brain:

I'm pretty sure this is going to be updated later, since the bachelorette party didn't even really start.  But My best friend in Germany is getting married on Monday, and I'm pretty excited for her.  This is my first wedding of my friends that I'm going to as an adult.  It's just going to be a simple one, since its a German courthouse wedding, but still.

Source Code and LUUUURRRRVVVVVEEEE

Things We Say:
You remind me of Lindsay Lohan, before she got slutty--Tyreke.

There'd be more, but its 1230. :(

Blurb My Brain:

You know, I have a confession to make.  I am in love with the idea of being in love.  I haven't been single very long (meaning like from when I started dating in high school... I'm not single at all right now), and I am perfectly happy with that.  I found the man that I am completely head over heels for, and I had to fight for him.  So what if I'm only 21.  Grow up.  You don't need to be old to get married and be happy.
Tonight he posted a Lifehouse video on my wall (WHICH THANK YOU GERMANY FOR BLOCKING!!!!) and he said some romantic things as a caption to the video.  That kinda stuff just makes my week.  He never posts about how much he misses me, and in fact he rarely posts about me anyway.  Well, comparatively anyway.  I don't post it as much as OTHER people post it, but again, I'm off track.  The point is, I am addicted to that feeling I get when I see he says something romantic on my wall, or sends me something that makes my heart ache for him like a thousand wrenches on my cardiac chambers.  I love being in love.  So haters gonna hate. Haters gonna say I need to wait 5 years for marriage.  But haters don't get to feel the way I do. 

Featured Randoms:

Ok, so if you haven't gotten a chance to see "Source Code" with Jake G-eehescute, you must do so.  I saw this movie AND Green Lantern tonight, and OMG was it (Source Code) great! Some people said it was repetitive, because he died about 20 times in the movie.  But the movie was awesome.  And I cried the last 30 minutes. Straight.  I'm not giving any details away, but as a girlfriend of a military member, how could I NOT cry? Anyway. Also liked how they took a non-stereotype look at the terrorism aspect.  Kudos to you, Source Code for passing PC class. ;)

Oh. Green Lantern was good too.  Ryan Reynolds is sexy.  You get to see some nice butt shots too.  OH! and did you know that his body in that movie is his actual body? They said so on Entertainment Tonight.

It-may-have-taken-me-an-hour-but-I-figured-it-out-so-there

Things We Say:

"if you will it, it will happen, at least that's what the book 'the power of the secret' says"--vanessa 
"does that work with promotions? I will a promotion....oh wait, I am getting promoted, I'M LEAVING! *cymbal crash*"--Me
I think that is a sign that I've got short-timeritis.

Congrats to those who got that extra stripe!--My facebook status
So, when are you going to earn your stripes?--My father
when i get old and fat and have stretch marks--me
oh ya, forgot that you love zebra's...guess your striving to look like one, uh?--My father
yeah, then i can run around naked and people can think its just my clothing--Me
That's no different than now?--My father
 Oh to clarify, I do run around with clothes on. Not that you thought that I didn't.  But I wish I could, because being naked is awesome.     

Mexican Chris is Throwing It All Away Party

Plan is to celebrate one of Mexican Chris' last nights of freedom. Start the day with some afternoon golf at Rheinblick for anyone interested. Let me know if you want to golf so I can try and set up tee times. Everything is pretty last minute but golfing in the afternoon shouldn't be a problem just let me know if you want to be counted in that number. Plan on dinner at Waldgiest combined with Kidd for his birthday dinner. Right now the plan is to head downtown after that. Unless We find a house to use so we can order a stripper, because we can't do it at Tostada's, but if that doesn't work everybody just bring some stupid shit, like a dress, so we can make the Mexican wear it and then we'll head downtown. Might not be the most exciting sounding thing ever but we'll get super drunk and act like we're on vacation in some exotic city. If you've got something better let me know.

This description made me laugh. Sounds like a bachelor party I would like to crash. But my female parts forbid it from happening. :)

Blurb My Brain:

YAY!!! UPDATES!!!  So if you follow me, you know that I have been trying to figure out custom links! I have literally been sifting through 30 posts on the help page to figure out WHY the custom links I had worked, and others did not.  Well, dear readers of mine, I will let you know. Not that any of you have blogs or have expressed having a blog on Blogger.

Permalinks are great because they are specific posts. Generally when I post it on facebook, I use the general link. But fear not, 17 readers! You may find your specific one by following the following format!
www.anaveragealyssa.com/year/month/title-of-post-with-spaces-replaced-with-dashes-and-no-commas.html.

I will try to be better at posting the permalink on my Facebook page when I post the new posts.  YAY!

Hey I'm excited.

Also, you may have noticed that the domain name is AnAverageAlyssa.com. Woot! My first domain name! YAY!!

I'm still excited.

Also, today I spent nearly 7 hours of the 8 I worked playing Mahjong on my phone. Be jealous. I trained my replacement so well, that I don't have any work to do (but neither does he). YAY!!!

Featured Randoms:

Ok, so my mom has a sense of humor.  She posted this news link on my page. :P I was REALLY hoping to show up at the airport for my boyfriend's midtour dressed JUST like this guy. 

Side Note: 

You know, you can TOTALLY suggest websites to be featured in my Featured Randoms section.  What? You have a featured Randoms section? I know, I see a lot of funny stuff, and sometimes it is hard to me to remember all the funny pages or stuff I see, so maybe if I record my entire day, and watch it on 4x speed (which would still be 6 hours of footage) I would remember some of the hilarious things that I see.  But I don't have the time to be remembering/watching 6 hours of anything, so feel free to comment sites you like, or funny youtube vids or something.  If you're my friend on FB, you'll get your thank you there. If not, I'll just thank you here. :) 

Oh So excited

Things We Say:

I don't wanna be a loser and hang out at work after I get off, so I thought I would come hang out at the bar, like a loser--Me

I've decided to win the lottery today. I would just rather not work anymore.--Jeremy, yesterday (may have said this one in my post yesterday)
Just as predicted, I won the lottery and this evening will gleefully claim my $2.00.-Jeremy the next day

I made sweet tea...ummmm.mmmmmm-Lindsay
im jealous :(--boyfriend
You can send him some. ;)--Me
I thought about it...i didn't want it to leak everywhere though.--Lindsay
hmmmmm buy him one of those tupperware water bottles.... they don't leak.... but you could even put it in a ziplock bag. :)--Me
I don't know if I should...is he worth it? ;-)--Lindsay
Hmmmmm Hey Lindsay, wanna make me some sweet tea? ;)--Me
it's in the fridge--Lindsay
lol, sweet. *pun not intended*--Me 


Nooo I don't wanna make out, I am playing my video games!--me impersonating Josh
Why does everything think that's all I do?--Josh
I don't think that.... you sleep too!--Lindsay


I say shit about gingers all the time.--Josh
No one is talking about you!--Lindsay
TOLD!!!--me


How long have we been sitting here?--Josh
Two hours?--me
And how long is the drive to ramstein?--Josh
An hour? 45 minutes?--Morgan
That's why I'm tired and why I'm standing.--Josh
So, you're tired from a 45 minute drive?--Morgan
TOLD AGAIN!!!--Me

Blurb My Brain:

So I am excited.  I am leaving Germany in little over a month.  This may confuse my American readers, who kill me with the "BUT YOU'RE IN EUROPE" excuse all the time.  Trust me, when everyone speaks English to you, and you spend 40 hours a week working, and 64 hours sleeping, and 64 hours figuring out what to do that doesn't cost an arm and a half, you start to feel like you are back in the states.  You just can't go to walmart or target, or tacobell that serves Baja Blast.  But anyway, I get off topic too easily; I'd make a great teacher.  So I'm excited because I'm leaving.  This puts me ONE MONTH closer to seeing my boyfriend again.  We had to push our visit back for the umpteenth million time, but that's ok.  That just means that the second half of the tour will be shorter! :) I'm getting really good at the feigned optimism lately! Seriously, when I realized that even though I'd be adding an additional month to seeing him, realizing that I was still over half way to the midtour made me SUPER happy.  This boy makes me smile on a daily basis. Even if he tells me I smell of soul eating. lol. He's a dork, but I LOVE it. <3

The Other thing that I'm super excited for: my replacement at work is heeeeerrrreeeeee.... And, like the awesome trainer that I am, I even let him do half the ropes yesterday, and watch me the other half. And today, I got to sit and watch him do it by himself and be there for questions! I LOVE BEING PAID TO SIT AND WATCH PEOPLE! Oh that sounded bad. Let's try it again.  I LOVE BEING PAID TO SIT AND WATCH PEOPLE DO MY JOB.... hmmmm still not the right ring to it.   I LOVE BEING PAID TO SIT AND WATCH PEOPLE DO MY JOB AND KNOW I'M NOT GETTING FIRED. There, that's it.  :)

EXTREME BLURBAGE

Things We Say:

Kyle's my Wannabe Fat Buddy--Tyrieke (sorry for the spelling, if you ever read this)
No I am not! What would I possibly gain from being that?--Kyle
Weight--Me

So this is Stacy Kodani, the new Me up in Environmental--Me to the IT guys in my building
Oh. You're a male--Chris, IT guy
Yes. In fact I am.--Stacy
That explains the "he needs the rights to....." in your requests--Chris
"This is why I am glad I did not date an IT guy... they are socially awkward at times"--Me in my head

For you to say you had too much to drink last night, means you had WAY too much to drink last night.--My mom

I work at Taco Bell and today I jumped out of the drive thru window to chase a five dollar bill for a customer. MLIA--My friend Emily in a My Life Is Average submission.

I'm not sure if it's a fair trade for the PMS, but watching your boobs jiggle while teeth brushing is a pretty awesome part of being a girl.--Carolin
  
The guy next to me in this lecture just fell asleep... I am currently amusing the entire row of people by changing all the contacts in his phone. Can't wait til he gets calls from Dirk Diggler, Ricky Bobby, & Obama--Carolin
Put your number in there as something like R2D2 and call him later and just beep and whistle--Me 

Asked Arianna if she knew any German. She said yes. I said, "well what do you know? Nein?" She said ten. LMAO!!!--Lindsay, talking about her 3 year old daughter
 
I had an awesome 3 day weekend. 3 days with no alarm clocks : ) Didn't quite make it to the pride festival, I woke up kinda late then i got distracted by a super cute dude. So that kinda took up a lot of my time. Was gonna go see Green Lantern but the dude distraction continued throughout the weekend. I've got no complaints.--My cousin Jeremy. :) 

Stole this from Timothy Wilson - Wise Man say "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...try to fool me three times and I'ma punch you right in yo face."--Shannon who stole it from Timothy M. Wilson apparently


I would have been so angry if he would have decided he wanted a turkey dinner for father's day on Sunday.  He told me on Friday, so I had some time to prepare, but he would have been one unhappy father.--Lady in the ID card office.

Lauren's Fathers Day card was cute, but sad... I love you daddy. Your my favorite dad. I don't want you to travel. I want you to stay home with me. Love Lauren.--Aunt Tara

Cleaned under her bed and realized that isn't not the dryer that eats socks--Talesha


So i guess even as a sophomore in high school when i was writing my novel, i knew i would be going to jersey, cause one of the character speaks with a jersey accent. WTH. lol--Me 
That's where STARS ARE BORN!--Talesha


Dear Rain. Fuck off.--Deadmau5 at 7:38
hey rain...thanks bro.--Deadmau5 at 9:30

Blurb My Brain:

Ok, so I do have to apologize.  I have been SLACKING in the whole keeping this shit updated department.  It isn't intentional.  Mainly, I don't have all that much interesting things that I hear because I've been spending QUITE a lot of time at home.  It's great, and my brother (well, both of them really) offers me plenty to say, but I feel like this would change the story to "Shit my dad says" but we all know how THAT went. But anyway, some explaining... I have been quite boring lately, with very few drunken nights, and most of my friends are no longer here or care to call me so I don't hang out.  And after Saturday (keep in mind today is Tuesday, nearly Wednesday) when I got so completely smashed I was sick until today (I think I was sick on Friday, but there's not really any way to tell) I am forseeing LESS drunken nights. Because the not eating for three days thing SUCKED!

But anywho, I wasn't blurbing because I can't eat.  You don't care about that.  I am here to blurb off a little idea found on "Temerity Jane's" blog. Sorry TJ.  But she mentions a few things that she is annoyed by but doesn't care enough to do anything about it kinda way.  (The links are chronologically backwards, bite me.) I feel like this all the time, guys.  Like there are certain things that really annoy the crap out of me.

The first is blinkers.  I wasn't meaning to say anything about this, but while I'm getting annoyed I'm going to talk about it.  I am FULLY confident that ALL major car companies could save themselves money and increase the chances of NOT going bankrupt again if they just DON'T put blinkers in cars anymore.  Especially in Europe.  1: People NEVER seem to use them.  I was always taught "changing directions, lanes, or even thinking about doing those two, put on your blinker."  I may annoy people, because I put on my blinker 1/4 of a mile away from when I'm turning, but YOU KNOW I AM TURNING! AND! AND! If I'm passing you, the blinker will let you know you should get over enough (I only say this because somehow German drivers think riding the center line is a mandatory thing.  I see it ALL. THE. TIME.) 2: (you thought I forgot, didn't you) People who somehow DO remember that they are there, NEVER TURN THEM OFF.  It's like they are relaxed by the click click click click click click click click click click click click click click (yes I did type that out) of the FRICKEN BLINKER! Like I said in point 1, I do it early, generally 5-7 clicks before I turn (not km or miles).  These people though, will put their blinker on to merge on the highway and then drive 5 miles down the road with it still FRICKEN BLINKING! So I never know if they are trying to get in the next lane, pass the dude in their lanes, or GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Drives me insane. Pun not intended.

SO: the OTHER thing that ANNOYS ME is when people tell you "oh, you'll change your mind." This is where Temerity Jane comes in play.  In her case it was about having a second kid.  Based on the trauma she seems to have went through, she does not want another kid, and I can understand that.  I don't want ANY right now.  (This will lead into point three) But one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I AM DONE WITH DRINKING, and I WILL NEVER DRINK THAT MUCH AGAIN and they tell me "oh I have said that before" or "oh, you say that now!" or "oh you'll change your mind one day."  NO! I got alcohol-poisoning drunk a couple years ago and I swore I would never get that bad again.  To this day, I have not gotten that bad.  This weekend was safe, but I still had too much and ended up doing stupid things and being bed-ridden for several days (maybe Linkin Park was a bad idea, 3 hours after I had eventually woken up.) and that was when I decided NEVER AGAIN. So NO. No I will not be doing it again, and no I will not be changing my mind, and JUST because I'm barely 21 does NOT mean I will be changing my mind.

Point three on things that annoy me, is related to the baby having thing.  The other week I went into the lady doctor's office and one of the conversations went something like this:
"So, how long before your husband gets back?"--Doc
"Boyfriend. And I see him in like 3 months, and then he's gone for another 6 and then I don't know what from there"--Me
"Oh. Sorry. So.... in about 3 months, you'll be seeing me more regularly"--Doc, implying that I'm going to get pregnant on my boyfriend's midtour
"uhhh, no?!"--Me, mortified, with my legs in the air.
"Oh that's right, you're moving. Plus you're young, you don't want to be having any kids right now"--Doc
Yeah. So, in case you didn't catch that, the ARMY doctor thinks that just because your man comes home on midtour you have to get pregnant. FURIOUS.

Then today while waiting for the elevator, a guy from the other wing saw me telling a little four year old girl to go back to her mommy down the hall. Then in the elevator, the conversation went like this:
"Oh, I thought that she was your kid"--Guy
"Nooooo, no kids for me"--Me
"Not yet anyway, right?"--Guy
"Not for a long while"--Me
"But isn't your husband gone?"--Guy
"Boyfriend, and yes. But we don't want any kids for a while"--Me
"Hm. I guess you are rather young yet"--Guy

WHY IS THIS ASSUMED?! How come I can't be 21 and not want kids? Why can't I NOT get pregnant on his midtour? WHAT IF I WERE ACTUALLY A GOOD CATHOLIC AND DIDN"T HAVE PREMARITAL SEX?! GAHHHH! I mean really people.  HOW DARE YOU ASSUME! I know it is the "typical" thing to do, but my boyfriend and I have decided we don't want that. How is this so hard to grasp. In the unfortunate event that we do end up with child, sure, I'll be happy. But I really don't want one now. So let me be a single, happily childless YOUNG 21 year old.

I think I just set a record. Longest Blurb Ever.

Totally Depressing Post on My Own Bitching Accord

Things We Say:

Aly, are you still mad at me?--my biological father
No, I'm not mad.  Quite frankly, I'm just getting annoyed.--Me (see Blurb My Brain Topic #2)

So then the bartender smacked my butt and I was like "I have to get out of here, my girlfriend will kill me!"--Boyfriend
Um, I don't care, as long as you aren't getting her number, or making out with her, or bringing her home.--Me (obviously not as jealous as he had expected I would be)

Just so you know, if Chris gets deployed, you WILL be living with me.--Maria

How's it feel to be a senior in college?--Me
Well, not bad, I mean most of my friends have already graduated, but I have facebook and stuff to keep in touch with them.--Emily
And, you have Skype to talk to people even if they are halfway around the world! --Me

I'm going next door to get a soda. I'll be right back.--Me
Why are you getting a soda?--Father
Um, because I want one?--Me (why else would I get one?)

Blurb My Brain:

Ok, I tried not to fail you.  I gave you some funny quotes.  But now I have to rant.

TOPIC#1
It's been three and almost a half months since I have seen my boyfriend.  And it's been hard.  I miss him like crazy, and the tinyest things make me cry.  I am doing really well, I think, but sometimes I just want to be locked in my room.  Or sometimes I SHOULD be locked in my room and I just don't know it.  I get in these crazy bitchy moods and honestly the best thing that I can do is to just go to sleep.  If for some reason I can't curl into the fetal position and sleep, I can get bitchy.  It isn't meant to be personal.  It isn't meant to make you feel bad. I just tend to get in these moods where I hate everything.  And today was not necessarily one of those days.

In fact, comparatively, my day today was PHENOMENAL (fanta-stick, even)! I got coffee with my best friend, skyped with two more best friends, and got home to some sweet messages from the boyfriend.  But lately, I don't know I just have been in this "EVERYTHING SUCKS ASSSSSS" mood.

So I guess, maybe, this is an apology.  Or maybe it's just a "Please understand if I tell you I hate everything in my life."  Or maybe it's a "sorry if I tell you I hate everything in my life."

But what makes it worse is when you are bitchy back at me.  Because then I have to do some mental evaluation, and the ego in me will not allow for personal error, and I tend to explode.  Think of it like a...nevermind, I was going to use a programming metaphor, but I assume you readers are too cool for my nerdiness (but if not, and you are a nerd, its like a infinite loop of "s/he is just rude, don't they know what I'm going through, etc).  Hm. After explaining it in nerd terms, I guess non-nerds could understand it as well. BAH! EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!

Thank you to all of the people who have been here to help me as well, because I tend to go a little bit psycho... Thank you for talking some logic into my clouded head.

I really need the next three months to be over. STAT. I need some serious cuddle time. 

TOPIC #2
OH! AND WHILE I'M AT IT.... my biological father (gave up his rights 10 years ago, blah blah blah) contacted me AGAIN this weekend.  And seriously, I really hope you are reading this somehow/where, dude.  He asked if I was mad at him.  This is the fourth or fifth time he's officially contacted me... I'm still convinced the other times that the "step-sister" contacted me it was really just him finding a loophole in the legal system or something.  And every time he does.... it's the same feeling... annoyance, rolling of the eyes, wondering why the hell he'd contact me again, etc.  And it's always the same thing... "let me in your life, I miss you and your brother, blah blah blah, your mother tore you away from me, it's all her fault, blah blah blah." And every time I tell him, "I don't care, I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone" and he ALWAYS gives me the stories about how it "REALLY" was. No dude. Saw the papers, have the memories, you are lying, leave me the fuck alone. So the next time he messages me, I have a GREAT idea... I'm gonna reply "DAMN MCDONALD'S CHEESEBURGERS ARE AWESOME!" and hope maybe then he'll get the point (I am not that witty, [I am more the vengeful, prove his stories wrong kind of wrathful redhead type (in fact, on further thinking, I think if he asks me one more time, I'm going to post the whole conversation on the blog to show you how ridiculous he is when he is trying so hard to win me back) as we tend to be] so that reply was courtesy of my amazing boyfriend.).

Ok. THERE. BLURB. EVERYTHING SUCKS AND PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!

Blurb My Brain:

Beware, yet another ego posting. lol.  So I work and manage two people for this process. No biggie. Except one of the people never does her work.  This would not be a big deal if I had the authority to punish her or something.  But as it stands, she's a whole 3 pay levels above me.  Again, no biggie.  WELL, after complaining to my supervisor two months ago that shit's gonna hit the fan, THE SHIT HIT THE FAN!! and it was grand.  I of course, was immediately called in to help fix, the Thunderstorm and did so in a matter of minutes... ok, so it was like 40 minutes, but seriously that's less than hours.

My boss said he was yelling at his boss about how pissed off he was that Big Boss (BB for short?) always protects the cute slacker (CS).  My boss even went so far as to say "BB, CS is NOT a princess, you need to stop acting like it." She made me laugh though, because CS approached me and she said "you know that I have lots of other work to do and this process is low on my priorities.  I have been in training this week (for her actual job) and training last week (for the job she doesn't have, but wants a promotion into) so I get to them when I have time...." OH! SO SORRY... the reason you let them stack up is because you are in training and can't handle multiple tasks at once, and yet you expect to get a more difficult job? Wow.

I'm so glad I'm leaving this place.

Fat, Sexy, and Funny

Things we say:

Choosing a girl friend is like buying a used car if the oil doesn't smell right there's probably something wrong with it.--Matt
Why are you dating smelly girls in the first place? Lol--Me
so you have been using this used car for a couple months now, and you just now noticed? maybe you have bad oil haha--His friend Riley
And you know some oils do permanent damage to the cars engine.... It's always better to prepare accurately before putting in your oil--Me
Oh let's clarify that the oil in my car is just fine, I was just trying to help others out haha--Matt   

If you could go to a concert for free but you'd have to work either as a bouncer, or as a potty watcher, which would you choose?--The morning radio show.

back to reality, and I'm already annoyed. My phone just auto-corrected "haha" to "hahaha" -- um, yea it was funny, but let's keep our pants on.--Carolin
  
remember bro, stay out of handcuffs! to increase your chances, you must try not to be hispanic or african american--Greg's friend Cody
technically I'm Jamaican-American. Thank god for loopholes.--Greg

Who runs for public office with a name like Weiner? Unless his first name is O S C A R what a tool--Cousin Mike

Let me count the ways in which I love Shenanigans; 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24...I think that's it. Wait no! 25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42...I've run out of fingers but, I'm sure you can think of even more reasons.--the afternoon radio show.

"I'm Special :D"--Boyfriend
"Special ed"--Me 
"Now if only I could make a smily with a helmet."--Boyfriend
" (:D "--me
"That's a toupe"--Boyfriend
"Flip your head, the D is the helmet"--Me. 
"now he just has a wierd formed skull."--Boyfriend
"that's special ed for you"--Me 

karaoke is the most embarrassing way to learn all the song lyrics you've been singing for years are very very wrong.--Toby
  
Drama llamas are officially out of my life.--Steph
  
"You must play the trumpet, cause you're making me horny and stuff" gotta love movie night at the station :)--Jeff
  
Dear Boy, I like where this is going, a lot :D--Michelle

Blurb My Brain:
Ok, so I'm conceited and I like to talk about myself.  Big surprise there.  But me being conceited probably has a little to do with the low self esteem that I had in high school, that ended up turning into this giant ego.  After all, if I don't love me, who will?  That being said, I think I'm hot or something. LOL.  I'm not saying it to brag, or anything, but I have the occasional event occur where I am stared at, or hooted at, or something of that kind.  Most recently, I was told by two separate individuals that they were disappointed that I was not single.  One said that he knows how much I love my boyfriend, and that is why he respects me and doesn't hit on me.  Apparently the day I'm single he calls dibs on the first date. LOL.  The second male actually ventured so far as to say he would ACTUALLY quit smoking to have a date with me.  THIS my dear anonymous internet friends/readers, made me laugh out loud.  I mean, first of all, that's not original.  I have an ex who DID quit for me... later went back to smoking after we broke up, but whatever.... so its not some monumental thing to me anymore.  Also, just because you quit smoking, does not mean that the effects of smoking which have permanently damaged your body suddenly disappear.  Sure, the yellow fingertips disappear, and teeth eventually whiten, but the lung cancer never goes away.  I don't want to date and eventually marry anyone who is like 40 times more likely to have lung cancer! Plus, if I get three offers in the same week, I'm pretty sure you're gonna have to try harder than giving up smoking to win me over.


Although, Boyfriend just gave me 50€ and told me to dance on the bar. LOL.  


Regardless, I am SUPER DUPER AMAZINGLY happy that I am dating Boyfriend.  NO chances for anyone else. At all. In fact today, he made me laugh out loud simply by saying L O V E you. something about the capitalization and the added space made me feel like I was special, his SCHATZ if you will.  So, sorry to disappoint, but I have to decline your gawking at my booty shorts, your random whistles from the street, and of course the "if you were single" conversations.  I will still accept free drinks with no strings attached.


ALSO WHILE I AM EXPLAINING HOW I WOULD NEVER BE WITH SOMEONE BESIDES BOYFRIEND (loud noises): I can't believe that rumors are starting about me and my best friend.  I mean, what's funny is that while Boyfriend was here we used to do everything together (meaning me, BF and boyfriend).  Why should I stop hanging out with my best friend because the boyfriend leaves? AND, the boyfriend told me to make sure the best friend leaves the house occasionally.  AND, the best friend is boyfriend's troop? Come on people.  I have better things to be doing, such as moving, and packing, and working, and trying not to overtrain, and trying to find a fricken salad.....


Also, I hate E. Coli.  Never had it, but it has wiped out my diet, and I dislike that.  I feel like a tub of lard. One that gets hit on too often. lol.


Enough blurbing. I swears.

Featured Randoms:

Saw this on Cordi's page, and it made me miss George Carlin.  Like A LOT.  In light of the recent tons of scandals, this is definitely worth a watch. :)

Oh Bar Talk....

Things We Say:

"You know, your boob keeps accidentally brushing against my arm"--Mullet
"Oh... sorry, but you're tall and its loud with all this bad singing I'm trying to speak in your ear and it just kind of happens...."--Me
"You are giving my arm an erection"--Mullet

"So how do you know Mullet?"--Guy trying to pick me up.
"well about a year ago, I would go to the bar like every weekend, and we would hang out with Watson, cause he had a crush on me and would buy me drinks.  Mullet was Watson's roommate"--Me
"Oh dear god, it was Watson"--Guy, laughing

"I hate inconsiderate Turkish people man.... I swear I just want to be a hitman and go around and kill all the Turks that are dumbass assholes, and then my country would be even richer and smarter!"--Maria, german friend
"You hear what she's saying?"--Me to Josh
"SHUT UP IT'S IN MY BLOOD!"--Maria
[Walks into a pole from laughing so hard]--Josh


Finally getting some sleep, then at 12:00 meeting with Sam to go to Rock am Ring.--Eve, 14 hours ago.
Guess who's sleeping... aint me...--Eve, 7 hours ago
Ready to go, just waiting for Sam--Eve, 7 hours ago 
Rock am Ring with joshy!! Let's rock the hell out, bitches!--Sam, 5 hours ago
Decided not to go to Rock Am Ring...painting my nails instead--Eve, 4 hours ago

if i would have known that your a selfish and unfair person i would have never count you as a friend.--Eve, 3 hours ago 
Enjoying my new found lack of tolerance for people. If you have attitude (in a bad way that is), dont know how to approach people respectfully, or you think you're never in the wrong: carry on! I'm not gonna sit here and take your crap anymore. On a brighter note: can't wait to see my Cali friends soon :)--Sam, 3 Hours ago
At least i dont have to lie about my life and make up a hole new story to get to a concert....--Eve, 2 hours ago  

Girl you are not from california look at your passport its italian and you never lived in the states...--Eve, an hour ago.


facebook fights often crack me up. Sucks to be you guys, but it makes me laugh.--Me, just now.

Crossing a metal pedestrian bridge in the middle of an electrical storm...smh--Greg

I just fist bumped with a random 7 year old.. And he followed it up with the explosion!! How awesome is that!!!--Jeff

Shh-knuckle-dipshit--Mom ordering dessert
Schnuckledippche?--Me, laughing hysterically. Mom always has the best German pronunciations. 

All of these people running from the cicadas reminds me of a lame, land version of JAWS.--Michelle

I plan on getting slightly intoxicated tonight--Stephanie
I know how this works. I look forward to amusing facebook posts regarding losing your shoes and your dignity.--her friend Roberticus? wait that alone should have gotten on my quotes

Roberticus Von FrankenHammer.

To a kitten evil bubble wrap must DIE!!!! Take that bubble wrap....--Aunt Tara


Got jumped by cicadas!--nehemiah

Blurb My Brain:

So.....I am super duper excited!!!! I am going to see Linkin Park in 14 days! :D I can finally stop jumping around in my room and jump around at the concert.  Speaking of jumping around, let me talk about Karaoke.  I think it is the devil.  I hate the concept of getting up on stage to just sing and hope that there's a person out there that will "discover you" or whatever.  Also, karaoke is generally good for making fun of people like the biker dude mouthing along to the 19 year old covering Alanis Morsette. . . Or making fun of me.

Wait...I thought you hate karaoke, Alyssa? says you, the 17 readers of my blog. I do. I really really do.  I have a voice that makes ears bleed.  Equate my singing to that of a harpy.  BUT... you get a few free drinks (I got FOUR that night... and I was wearing what I wore to work. lol) and almost anything starts to sound like a good idea. So this dude who wants to talk to me and make me his next ex-girlfriend (cue Bowling for Soup) convinces me that we should do Karaoke.  Drunk me says sure! So he made the mistake of letting ME do the choosing.  I'm flipping through the book.  It's got some good new songs in there.  I choose "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance. You know, cause its like my anthem and all....

I am super drunk, and have super no clue what is going to happen, I just remember this: I was flailing like a fish out of water... but they have more dancing skills while gasping for air and trying not to die and all.  My philosophy was this: If I'm gonna make a fool out of myself and be up there making everyone's ears bleed, I might as well put on a show.  So that's what I did.

I fucking hate Karaoke.

Then the next night, I went out again, and someone asked how I was doing... and I was like "I'm still alive." To which he replied "and kicking? like last night?" Yeah. I hate Karaoke.