EXTREME BLURBAGE

Things We Say:

Kyle's my Wannabe Fat Buddy--Tyrieke (sorry for the spelling, if you ever read this)
No I am not! What would I possibly gain from being that?--Kyle
Weight--Me

So this is Stacy Kodani, the new Me up in Environmental--Me to the IT guys in my building
Oh. You're a male--Chris, IT guy
Yes. In fact I am.--Stacy
That explains the "he needs the rights to....." in your requests--Chris
"This is why I am glad I did not date an IT guy... they are socially awkward at times"--Me in my head

For you to say you had too much to drink last night, means you had WAY too much to drink last night.--My mom

I work at Taco Bell and today I jumped out of the drive thru window to chase a five dollar bill for a customer. MLIA--My friend Emily in a My Life Is Average submission.

I'm not sure if it's a fair trade for the PMS, but watching your boobs jiggle while teeth brushing is a pretty awesome part of being a girl.--Carolin
  
The guy next to me in this lecture just fell asleep... I am currently amusing the entire row of people by changing all the contacts in his phone. Can't wait til he gets calls from Dirk Diggler, Ricky Bobby, & Obama--Carolin
Put your number in there as something like R2D2 and call him later and just beep and whistle--Me 

Asked Arianna if she knew any German. She said yes. I said, "well what do you know? Nein?" She said ten. LMAO!!!--Lindsay, talking about her 3 year old daughter
 
I had an awesome 3 day weekend. 3 days with no alarm clocks : ) Didn't quite make it to the pride festival, I woke up kinda late then i got distracted by a super cute dude. So that kinda took up a lot of my time. Was gonna go see Green Lantern but the dude distraction continued throughout the weekend. I've got no complaints.--My cousin Jeremy. :) 

Stole this from Timothy Wilson - Wise Man say "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...try to fool me three times and I'ma punch you right in yo face."--Shannon who stole it from Timothy M. Wilson apparently


I would have been so angry if he would have decided he wanted a turkey dinner for father's day on Sunday.  He told me on Friday, so I had some time to prepare, but he would have been one unhappy father.--Lady in the ID card office.

Lauren's Fathers Day card was cute, but sad... I love you daddy. Your my favorite dad. I don't want you to travel. I want you to stay home with me. Love Lauren.--Aunt Tara

Cleaned under her bed and realized that isn't not the dryer that eats socks--Talesha


So i guess even as a sophomore in high school when i was writing my novel, i knew i would be going to jersey, cause one of the character speaks with a jersey accent. WTH. lol--Me 
That's where STARS ARE BORN!--Talesha


Dear Rain. Fuck off.--Deadmau5 at 7:38
hey rain...thanks bro.--Deadmau5 at 9:30

Blurb My Brain:

Ok, so I do have to apologize.  I have been SLACKING in the whole keeping this shit updated department.  It isn't intentional.  Mainly, I don't have all that much interesting things that I hear because I've been spending QUITE a lot of time at home.  It's great, and my brother (well, both of them really) offers me plenty to say, but I feel like this would change the story to "Shit my dad says" but we all know how THAT went. But anyway, some explaining... I have been quite boring lately, with very few drunken nights, and most of my friends are no longer here or care to call me so I don't hang out.  And after Saturday (keep in mind today is Tuesday, nearly Wednesday) when I got so completely smashed I was sick until today (I think I was sick on Friday, but there's not really any way to tell) I am forseeing LESS drunken nights. Because the not eating for three days thing SUCKED!

But anywho, I wasn't blurbing because I can't eat.  You don't care about that.  I am here to blurb off a little idea found on "Temerity Jane's" blog. Sorry TJ.  But she mentions a few things that she is annoyed by but doesn't care enough to do anything about it kinda way.  (The links are chronologically backwards, bite me.) I feel like this all the time, guys.  Like there are certain things that really annoy the crap out of me.

The first is blinkers.  I wasn't meaning to say anything about this, but while I'm getting annoyed I'm going to talk about it.  I am FULLY confident that ALL major car companies could save themselves money and increase the chances of NOT going bankrupt again if they just DON'T put blinkers in cars anymore.  Especially in Europe.  1: People NEVER seem to use them.  I was always taught "changing directions, lanes, or even thinking about doing those two, put on your blinker."  I may annoy people, because I put on my blinker 1/4 of a mile away from when I'm turning, but YOU KNOW I AM TURNING! AND! AND! If I'm passing you, the blinker will let you know you should get over enough (I only say this because somehow German drivers think riding the center line is a mandatory thing.  I see it ALL. THE. TIME.) 2: (you thought I forgot, didn't you) People who somehow DO remember that they are there, NEVER TURN THEM OFF.  It's like they are relaxed by the click click click click click click click click click click click click click click (yes I did type that out) of the FRICKEN BLINKER! Like I said in point 1, I do it early, generally 5-7 clicks before I turn (not km or miles).  These people though, will put their blinker on to merge on the highway and then drive 5 miles down the road with it still FRICKEN BLINKING! So I never know if they are trying to get in the next lane, pass the dude in their lanes, or GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Drives me insane. Pun not intended.

SO: the OTHER thing that ANNOYS ME is when people tell you "oh, you'll change your mind." This is where Temerity Jane comes in play.  In her case it was about having a second kid.  Based on the trauma she seems to have went through, she does not want another kid, and I can understand that.  I don't want ANY right now.  (This will lead into point three) But one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I AM DONE WITH DRINKING, and I WILL NEVER DRINK THAT MUCH AGAIN and they tell me "oh I have said that before" or "oh, you say that now!" or "oh you'll change your mind one day."  NO! I got alcohol-poisoning drunk a couple years ago and I swore I would never get that bad again.  To this day, I have not gotten that bad.  This weekend was safe, but I still had too much and ended up doing stupid things and being bed-ridden for several days (maybe Linkin Park was a bad idea, 3 hours after I had eventually woken up.) and that was when I decided NEVER AGAIN. So NO. No I will not be doing it again, and no I will not be changing my mind, and JUST because I'm barely 21 does NOT mean I will be changing my mind.

Point three on things that annoy me, is related to the baby having thing.  The other week I went into the lady doctor's office and one of the conversations went something like this:
"So, how long before your husband gets back?"--Doc
"Boyfriend. And I see him in like 3 months, and then he's gone for another 6 and then I don't know what from there"--Me
"Oh. Sorry. So.... in about 3 months, you'll be seeing me more regularly"--Doc, implying that I'm going to get pregnant on my boyfriend's midtour
"uhhh, no?!"--Me, mortified, with my legs in the air.
"Oh that's right, you're moving. Plus you're young, you don't want to be having any kids right now"--Doc
Yeah. So, in case you didn't catch that, the ARMY doctor thinks that just because your man comes home on midtour you have to get pregnant. FURIOUS.

Then today while waiting for the elevator, a guy from the other wing saw me telling a little four year old girl to go back to her mommy down the hall. Then in the elevator, the conversation went like this:
"Oh, I thought that she was your kid"--Guy
"Nooooo, no kids for me"--Me
"Not yet anyway, right?"--Guy
"Not for a long while"--Me
"But isn't your husband gone?"--Guy
"Boyfriend, and yes. But we don't want any kids for a while"--Me
"Hm. I guess you are rather young yet"--Guy

WHY IS THIS ASSUMED?! How come I can't be 21 and not want kids? Why can't I NOT get pregnant on his midtour? WHAT IF I WERE ACTUALLY A GOOD CATHOLIC AND DIDN"T HAVE PREMARITAL SEX?! GAHHHH! I mean really people.  HOW DARE YOU ASSUME! I know it is the "typical" thing to do, but my boyfriend and I have decided we don't want that. How is this so hard to grasp. In the unfortunate event that we do end up with child, sure, I'll be happy. But I really don't want one now. So let me be a single, happily childless YOUNG 21 year old.

I think I just set a record. Longest Blurb Ever.