Totally Depressing Post on My Own Bitching Accord

Things We Say:

Aly, are you still mad at me?--my biological father
No, I'm not mad.  Quite frankly, I'm just getting annoyed.--Me (see Blurb My Brain Topic #2)

So then the bartender smacked my butt and I was like "I have to get out of here, my girlfriend will kill me!"--Boyfriend
Um, I don't care, as long as you aren't getting her number, or making out with her, or bringing her home.--Me (obviously not as jealous as he had expected I would be)

Just so you know, if Chris gets deployed, you WILL be living with me.--Maria

How's it feel to be a senior in college?--Me
Well, not bad, I mean most of my friends have already graduated, but I have facebook and stuff to keep in touch with them.--Emily
And, you have Skype to talk to people even if they are halfway around the world! --Me

I'm going next door to get a soda. I'll be right back.--Me
Why are you getting a soda?--Father
Um, because I want one?--Me (why else would I get one?)

Blurb My Brain:

Ok, I tried not to fail you.  I gave you some funny quotes.  But now I have to rant.

TOPIC#1
It's been three and almost a half months since I have seen my boyfriend.  And it's been hard.  I miss him like crazy, and the tinyest things make me cry.  I am doing really well, I think, but sometimes I just want to be locked in my room.  Or sometimes I SHOULD be locked in my room and I just don't know it.  I get in these crazy bitchy moods and honestly the best thing that I can do is to just go to sleep.  If for some reason I can't curl into the fetal position and sleep, I can get bitchy.  It isn't meant to be personal.  It isn't meant to make you feel bad. I just tend to get in these moods where I hate everything.  And today was not necessarily one of those days.

In fact, comparatively, my day today was PHENOMENAL (fanta-stick, even)! I got coffee with my best friend, skyped with two more best friends, and got home to some sweet messages from the boyfriend.  But lately, I don't know I just have been in this "EVERYTHING SUCKS ASSSSSS" mood.

So I guess, maybe, this is an apology.  Or maybe it's just a "Please understand if I tell you I hate everything in my life."  Or maybe it's a "sorry if I tell you I hate everything in my life."

But what makes it worse is when you are bitchy back at me.  Because then I have to do some mental evaluation, and the ego in me will not allow for personal error, and I tend to explode.  Think of it like a...nevermind, I was going to use a programming metaphor, but I assume you readers are too cool for my nerdiness (but if not, and you are a nerd, its like a infinite loop of "s/he is just rude, don't they know what I'm going through, etc).  Hm. After explaining it in nerd terms, I guess non-nerds could understand it as well. BAH! EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!

Thank you to all of the people who have been here to help me as well, because I tend to go a little bit psycho... Thank you for talking some logic into my clouded head.

I really need the next three months to be over. STAT. I need some serious cuddle time. 

TOPIC #2
OH! AND WHILE I'M AT IT.... my biological father (gave up his rights 10 years ago, blah blah blah) contacted me AGAIN this weekend.  And seriously, I really hope you are reading this somehow/where, dude.  He asked if I was mad at him.  This is the fourth or fifth time he's officially contacted me... I'm still convinced the other times that the "step-sister" contacted me it was really just him finding a loophole in the legal system or something.  And every time he does.... it's the same feeling... annoyance, rolling of the eyes, wondering why the hell he'd contact me again, etc.  And it's always the same thing... "let me in your life, I miss you and your brother, blah blah blah, your mother tore you away from me, it's all her fault, blah blah blah." And every time I tell him, "I don't care, I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone" and he ALWAYS gives me the stories about how it "REALLY" was. No dude. Saw the papers, have the memories, you are lying, leave me the fuck alone. So the next time he messages me, I have a GREAT idea... I'm gonna reply "DAMN MCDONALD'S CHEESEBURGERS ARE AWESOME!" and hope maybe then he'll get the point (I am not that witty, [I am more the vengeful, prove his stories wrong kind of wrathful redhead type (in fact, on further thinking, I think if he asks me one more time, I'm going to post the whole conversation on the blog to show you how ridiculous he is when he is trying so hard to win me back) as we tend to be] so that reply was courtesy of my amazing boyfriend.).

Ok. THERE. BLURB. EVERYTHING SUCKS AND PEOPLE ARE STUPID.