Oh Bar Talk....

Things We Say:

"You know, your boob keeps accidentally brushing against my arm"--Mullet
"Oh... sorry, but you're tall and its loud with all this bad singing I'm trying to speak in your ear and it just kind of happens...."--Me
"You are giving my arm an erection"--Mullet

"So how do you know Mullet?"--Guy trying to pick me up.
"well about a year ago, I would go to the bar like every weekend, and we would hang out with Watson, cause he had a crush on me and would buy me drinks.  Mullet was Watson's roommate"--Me
"Oh dear god, it was Watson"--Guy, laughing

"I hate inconsiderate Turkish people man.... I swear I just want to be a hitman and go around and kill all the Turks that are dumbass assholes, and then my country would be even richer and smarter!"--Maria, german friend
"You hear what she's saying?"--Me to Josh
"SHUT UP IT'S IN MY BLOOD!"--Maria
[Walks into a pole from laughing so hard]--Josh


Finally getting some sleep, then at 12:00 meeting with Sam to go to Rock am Ring.--Eve, 14 hours ago.
Guess who's sleeping... aint me...--Eve, 7 hours ago
Ready to go, just waiting for Sam--Eve, 7 hours ago 
Rock am Ring with joshy!! Let's rock the hell out, bitches!--Sam, 5 hours ago
Decided not to go to Rock Am Ring...painting my nails instead--Eve, 4 hours ago

if i would have known that your a selfish and unfair person i would have never count you as a friend.--Eve, 3 hours ago 
Enjoying my new found lack of tolerance for people. If you have attitude (in a bad way that is), dont know how to approach people respectfully, or you think you're never in the wrong: carry on! I'm not gonna sit here and take your crap anymore. On a brighter note: can't wait to see my Cali friends soon :)--Sam, 3 Hours ago
At least i dont have to lie about my life and make up a hole new story to get to a concert....--Eve, 2 hours ago  

Girl you are not from california look at your passport its italian and you never lived in the states...--Eve, an hour ago.


facebook fights often crack me up. Sucks to be you guys, but it makes me laugh.--Me, just now.

Crossing a metal pedestrian bridge in the middle of an electrical storm...smh--Greg

I just fist bumped with a random 7 year old.. And he followed it up with the explosion!! How awesome is that!!!--Jeff

Shh-knuckle-dipshit--Mom ordering dessert
Schnuckledippche?--Me, laughing hysterically. Mom always has the best German pronunciations. 

All of these people running from the cicadas reminds me of a lame, land version of JAWS.--Michelle

I plan on getting slightly intoxicated tonight--Stephanie
I know how this works. I look forward to amusing facebook posts regarding losing your shoes and your dignity.--her friend Roberticus? wait that alone should have gotten on my quotes

Roberticus Von FrankenHammer.

To a kitten evil bubble wrap must DIE!!!! Take that bubble wrap....--Aunt Tara


Got jumped by cicadas!--nehemiah

Blurb My Brain:

So.....I am super duper excited!!!! I am going to see Linkin Park in 14 days! :D I can finally stop jumping around in my room and jump around at the concert.  Speaking of jumping around, let me talk about Karaoke.  I think it is the devil.  I hate the concept of getting up on stage to just sing and hope that there's a person out there that will "discover you" or whatever.  Also, karaoke is generally good for making fun of people like the biker dude mouthing along to the 19 year old covering Alanis Morsette. . . Or making fun of me.

Wait...I thought you hate karaoke, Alyssa? says you, the 17 readers of my blog. I do. I really really do.  I have a voice that makes ears bleed.  Equate my singing to that of a harpy.  BUT... you get a few free drinks (I got FOUR that night... and I was wearing what I wore to work. lol) and almost anything starts to sound like a good idea. So this dude who wants to talk to me and make me his next ex-girlfriend (cue Bowling for Soup) convinces me that we should do Karaoke.  Drunk me says sure! So he made the mistake of letting ME do the choosing.  I'm flipping through the book.  It's got some good new songs in there.  I choose "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance. You know, cause its like my anthem and all....

I am super drunk, and have super no clue what is going to happen, I just remember this: I was flailing like a fish out of water... but they have more dancing skills while gasping for air and trying not to die and all.  My philosophy was this: If I'm gonna make a fool out of myself and be up there making everyone's ears bleed, I might as well put on a show.  So that's what I did.

I fucking hate Karaoke.

Then the next night, I went out again, and someone asked how I was doing... and I was like "I'm still alive." To which he replied "and kicking? like last night?" Yeah. I hate Karaoke.