Lake Monsters

Well yesterday was my cousin's wedding. Cuzzo was always my favorite cousin, as he was two years older, more shy and didn't fight for attention. You can't compete for attention when your other cousin water skis in a banana suit.

But my fondest memory of Cuzzo was right after my great grandma died. He and I spent the night at my great grandpa's house and stayed up talking much later than other kids in the house. I remember he and I playing Chess. We both were talking about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I think he said he wanted to be an engineer. I don't know what I thought I wanted to do, but I am sure it isn't what I am doing now.

So his wedding was something I was greatly looking forward to. It was a gorgeous ceremony, and her dress was fantastically gorgeous.

Today was the gift opening party, and was nice. However, it has been several years since I frequented the lake. So I don't know anyone.

I was discussing this with my mom. I don't know what happened, but somehow I stopped being as outgoing. I don't know if it was my freshman year or what, but I am just not as social. It doesn't help that there were about 75 people up there.

So put me in a place where there are 75 new people and it's like being surrounded by monsters. The people are really nice, but horribly unpredictable. I don't know who is whose cousin, or if I will ever see them again. I don't know if I will even remember them in two weeks.

So, it was quite an interesting day.

Self

You know, sometimes you just want to be left alone but you know you shouldn't be. Your mind is too active, too dark, too angry.

Your plans didn't work out, your goals were not met. You did things you swore you'd never do. Some of them were the best decisions of your life. But even the best decisions can change who you are and what you thought you wanted to be.

Looking back, I wouldn't make any choices differently, except maybe quit my job and move to Japan to be with my husband sooner.

Maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much damn time with computers.

Now I am $40k in debt and no idea who I wanna be when I grow up.

My Hopeful Heart Melted

So I was visiting my great grandpa in the hospital and noticed something that nearly made me cry. My grandpa was wearing his wedding ring. My great grandma has been dead for 11 years. For 11 years that man continued to wear his ring as a constant reminder of the wife he pledged to love for eternity.

I know lots of men who do not wear their rings. But my husband is not one. I can only hope that should I pass, my husband would love me just as much where his great grand child could see the eternal love he has for me.

I saw that ring, and my hopeful heart melted.

Letter to My Town

Dear Town I live in,
You need a small vacation to Wisconsin for a lesson in Summer. Today in Wisconsin it was 90*, and slightly humid. I had nearly forgotten we had Global Warming while living there, since the other week it was 40* and rainy. That is not the definition of summer. Heat is one of the key ingredients of summer. Other areas have temps of over 100*.

But the most important thing you can learn from Wisconsin regarding Summer is that the sun shone. Yes. You can do that. After all the clouds, I had forgotten the sun had even existed.

The ONLY thing that you can do correctly regarding Summer is that you don't have Mosquitos. For that, you get one bonus point. Wisconsin's state bird is the mosquito, or so my grandfather says.

Please learn your shit. This summer has been a sad excuse of a season.
Love,
Alyssa

Some people's children

I had a couple flights today since I flew out to Wisconsin. On my first flight, a woman stands behind me and asked the flight attendant in a snooty manner if the two seats were together. The flight attendant said that the seats were together, across the aisle. Apparently it was not close enough for this woman. "I WILL NOT FLY DELTA EVER AGAIN!!!" she screamed.

Seriously lady, you are like 40 years old. Throwing a temper tantrum because your seats together weren't together enough?

She was under the impression that just because she was traveling with a small child (which I never saw) that she got adjacent seats? Lady?! You're on a fucking airplane. All you gotta do is make sure your kid doesn't run off the plane until the cabin doors close. It not like "Red Eye" occurs ever.

Some people's children.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Hey there Internet.
I am thinking I am going to revamp the blog here. As you may have noticed, I have pretty much left out Things We Say for a while. Part of the reason is that I just don't get out and here things anymore because I didn't have friends and didn't go to bars.

Well. Since I am leaving my few friends here, and am going to go off to house wife it up, I thought I would convert the blog to a newlywed blog, telling the trials and tribulations of moving across the globe and adjusting to living with a new spouse.

I will still periodically add things I hear which are ridiculous. But probably not for a while. Lol.

House wifing

Blurb my brain:
Since the dawn of wife-ing, more properly spelled as wifing, women have been learning how to properly cook and clean and launder. After all, we women should never leave the kitchen unless it be to follow the husband to the bedroom. (kidding)

But as of late, I had been reflecting on my knowledge of cooking, and decided while I am content with my cooking habits, I should probably expand my knowledge to more than frozen pizzas, Mac and Cheese, chicken breasts, and pork chops.

So since I didn't leave for Wisconsin like I thought I was supposed to on Saturday, I began my apprenticeship with my mother. I drew up a list of my favorite meals when I am home and pestered her for the recipes.

I now have a book full of recipes, and am SUPER excited to start being a housewife for David in two weeks.

Fake Flying Fork

Blurb my brain:
Greetings from the same damn place I was last night. Funny story.

I get to the airport at 1210, because my flight left for Minneapolis at 130. I stand in the line of 20 people, and they get to me and I do the self check in desk. I enter my itinerary number and they tell me that they can't find me. So the agent comes over, grabs my ID and tries to look me up. "you're not booked on this flight" BUT MY HUSBAND BOOKED ME FOR TODAY, the 23rd! Sorry. Just a second I am gonna log in and see what i can find.

*meanwhile* I am texting David saying "wtf is going on with this, dear" AND I am calling Expedia.

*suddenly* "LMFAO babe you don't fly out til the 26th. You dont leave til Tuesday."

#embarassed

So I called my mom to pick me up again. Whatever. Lol. Luckily the only one who will likely see me again is the agent. Maybe he won't remember me in 3 days.

I tell my Twinsie this story, and she proceeds to call me a dork.

Except Twinsie's phone autocowrecks EVERYTHING. So the message came out "oh! Sweetheart! You're a fork but I love you. Yes. Fork."

So I thought I was goig to be a flying fork. I was just a fake.

Friends

Blurb My Brain:
Internet, my husband and I may not agree on some things. But there is one we are definitely in agreement on: friends and family are everything.

I won't get into the aspect of family, as that I'd say is self explanatory.

However, I personally value friendship just as equally as family. In many ways, my friends are the family I never had. I have sisters and brothers and mothers who are not blood. But I will do just about everything for them.

We loaned a friend a substantial amount of money, to pay her deposit on a place she has been needing for months. I of course cleared it with David first, and set a payment plan with her, but I had no problem helping her. She thanked me profusely, and told me she has to help me in the future to pay me back. Honestly, I told her, she's already done so much for me.

The best part is, they don't see what all they have done. It's not their fault, they just haven't seen the me before them.

To genuinely say you have people who will take care of you, and simply because you're part of the pack...words can't describe. I am not sad I am leaving my town. I am sad I am leaving them behind.

Another life lesson learned.

Perpetual exhaustion

Blurb my brain:
I know I said I was tired before. You would think since I stopped taking my painkiller I would have cut this exhaustion crap.

Bonus of being so tired is that your brain is too lazy to be thinking. I have a lot on my mind lately, so this is definitely an added trait.

But I wish I could stop yawning.

And have a nacho burrito from taco bell. Mmmmmm.

Hump day

Blurb my brain:
So all day I thought it was Thursday. Nothing messes up your entire last week of work like it being Wednesday. I was all excited to wear jeans. And have it be my last day. And not really care about callers.

It's my senioritis of work. Workingitis. I just don't want to work.

And my computer at work feels the same way. It rebooted for over an hour today. So I guess I cant complain that i got paid for 8 hours of work when I only worked 7. Still. Between that and my health, David was right...I should have quit last week.

Being a teenager

Blurb my brain:
Well after I posted the last one, I got seen by an awesome doctor. He asked if I wanted to skip work and he wrote me a pass for a day of work release. After all, you can't talk if you can't talk. Then as the nurse was getting the prescription written, my ear infection got significantly worse and I felt as though someone were stabbing my ear drum. She got me the drops to help kill the pain temporarily and I left the hospital.

Then I went to Walgreens to fill my prescription bc they were open at 1130. There was a woman at the pharmacy who had a pretty severe sunburn. The pharmacist was helping her choose the right kind of aloe and gives her a bottle of the green stuff. This dumb woman then proceeds to ask about other stupid questions about sunburns.

Meanwhile my ear is exploding. Or it sure felt like it. I start moaning, the pharmacist sees I am in pain, and shoos the idiot away. He begins filling my drugs and I remember Walgreens doesn't take my insurance. Well whatever, I am going to just eat the $30 and take the drugs. He fills them super fast, and I practically pop them in the store.

That was the last of the pain, but not the end of the story. This particular drug I am on for pain, it is an opiate.

Strange dreams.

But more than that, I am tired ALL THE TIME. I have slept about 14 hours a day since taking these things. I feel like a teenager again. All I want to do is sleep! The worst part is, i wake up with a headache because all I do is sleep.

Tomorrow I go back to work, and just hope that I can stay awake the whole time.

Fuck you rain

Blurb my brain:
So the other day it was like 40* and pouring rain in my town. Conveniently it was the day after my movers came and took my rain jacket. I went out on my lunch break and went to get something to eat. As I stepped outside, the torrential rain combined with the gust of wind and landed a fat rain drop into my ear. I tried to shake it out but I guess I didn't get it. I am currently sitting with 8 other families in the emergency room. I have the ear infection.

To be fair, I havent had an ear infection since we first got to Germany, 4 years ago. At least I know the warning signs and decided to get to the ER before the pain is unbearable.

All this would be fine and dandy, except I also don't have a voice.

Wednesday (same day as the rain drop incident) I started having a sore throat. By the end of my shift, I sounded like I had been smoking for 20 years. The next morning my voice was gone but I still trudged into work. They had plenty of busy work for me, so I spent 6 hours off the phones. The next day I regained my voice by about half, and I worked the whole day on the phones. By the end of my shift on Friday I felt as though I could never speak again. Then today I woke up and didn't have a voice in any way shape or form. Hard to call in without a voice. But I got to work and the boss sent me home. I went home, slept, got some lunch, saw Madagascar 3, and then went back to sleep.

Cue the ear pain and the decision to go to the Emergency Room.

David says I need to buy a new immune system.

So I am chilling here, face mask (bc of the coughing) which I have deemed the human cone of shame and all. Yay.

Awake is the hard part

I am in bed. You're near. Legs intertwined. Noses brushing. Warm air on our lips. Hearts pounding. Calmness washes over me. My muscles relax. We may just be laying here but the feeling of comfort is unshakeable.

For a brief instant, oceans disappeared. Time jumped. And I only had you.

I daydream all the time, often recreating events and rewriting history. But I have never experienced such a dream while half way between conscious and unconscious. Why does that feel more real than when I am awake?

At the same time, however, the realization that it isn't reality is crushing. The realization it isn't true brings the oceans back into place. Have you felt the force of an ocean dropping into place? Have you felt the hands of time grind backwards?

I miss my husband.

Whine and Dine

Blurb my brain:
You know the hardest part of being a military whatever? Doing every day chores while your partner is gone.

Seriously, I made the bed and nearly started crying because "if David were here, I would have had this bed made in 10 minutes instead of 30."

Related: if David were here, he could help me decide what to throw out before the move.

Related: if David were here, I could make him do the dishes with me.

Related: if David were here, he could pick me up from the bar. (ok so this isn't a chore)

In all seriousness though, he has been on my mind all week. I am finally sick of living on my own. I want to feel married again. :/ I want someone to drink the bottle of wine with me. I want someone to cook dinner for besides myself.