Awake is the hard part

I am in bed. You're near. Legs intertwined. Noses brushing. Warm air on our lips. Hearts pounding. Calmness washes over me. My muscles relax. We may just be laying here but the feeling of comfort is unshakeable.

For a brief instant, oceans disappeared. Time jumped. And I only had you.

I daydream all the time, often recreating events and rewriting history. But I have never experienced such a dream while half way between conscious and unconscious. Why does that feel more real than when I am awake?

At the same time, however, the realization that it isn't reality is crushing. The realization it isn't true brings the oceans back into place. Have you felt the force of an ocean dropping into place? Have you felt the hands of time grind backwards?

I miss my husband.