Women: Venus Fly Traps

Things We Say:

It takes two to tango. 
I like to laugh at women who think that other women seduced their man, and that's why they went astray.  This no doubt happens.  But seriously, come on.  It takes two to tango.  He has the option to say no at any time.  Especially when you are at home waiting for him.  You are more welcome to leave, than get mad/even at the other woman.  

Some women are venus fly traps: they seem like man eating plants, but then they blossom into a beautiful flower. --Me
I meant this as a compliment... but it didn't come out as such. lol.

I am actually glad she's pregnant.  so her vagina can rip as her baby claws its way out, and she won't sleep for years, and she wont lose her baby fat that she had before she was pregnant. It's the worst thing I could thing of to curse her with.--Me
Nothing against pregnancy, since I know it is a beautiful thing, and eventually I hope to be pregnant, but this girl--and I use that term lightly--is a evil witch, and cheats on her husband all the time, so I had to think of a suitable punishment for her.  I'm a terrible person. 


I want glasses!--Ashley
Stare at your computer screen 18 hours a day, 5 days a week.--Me
Yep, I am gaining 2 more eyes tomorrow. YAY! not. I can't believe my eyes went from 20/20 to 2050 and 20/80 in two years. Stupid work and school telling me to look at computer screens. :(

Ok so this is how a customers conversation went today: Guy 1: Dude guess who texted me? Guy 2: Kaitlyn, Carol, Samantha, or Lindsey? Guy 1: None of those hoes, but it was Sarah and she said shes taking a test right now to see if shes prego Guy 2: Jeeze again? Didnt you just have to pay for an abortion for the past 3 girls you have been with? Guy 1: Yes.. Sex is getting expensive.--Victoria's status

Blurb My Brain:

My venus fly trap's flower finally bloomed today. I was very ecstatic.  I think it is kind of ironic, that the venus fly trap flowers. They are such scary looking plants, but the second the flower blooms, I swear I nearly cried.  It was such a gorgeous moment.  To think that this plant survived, when I didn't water it for nearly a month,   left it out in the cold, didn't give it sunlight, and gave it german tap water, is amazing.  I would like my damn plant more if it killed the fruit flies like I originally wanted it to, but whatever. See below for my purty flower.

Featured Randoms:

 I don't know if you know about the French Naked Women music video, but there was a spoof done for Guitar Hero 5, and I literally had to turn it off because I was afraid of laughing too hard.  Watch it. Now. :)