Alcohol and Dating.

Things We Say:

*Saying a bunch of things in German*--German girls I was with
I know what you are saying!--Me
But you don't understand that you are doing a Jaegerbomb?--Alina

You know, you should be happy you weren't pregnant while taking your finals--Girl to girl who miscarried

This is really sad... I have lost all ability to drink beer.  It seems like my body knows that liquor is out there, and that it gets you drunk quicker, so it gets the beer and is like "Whatever. drink something manly"--Me on a rant

So my friend-(Guy in bar)
YOU LOOK LIKE PEE WEE HERMAN!--Me
Yeah so anyway...my friend wanted-(Guy)
HE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE PEEWEE!--Me
anywho.....(Guy)
I MEAN, DOES YOUR FRIEND LOOK LIKE PEEWEE TOO?--Me
nah, forget it.  You aren't nice to me, so you aren't gonna be nice to him.--Guy
Well, next time, tell your friend to get the cajones to actually approach us.--Me
*grabs friend and throws him at the bench to sit with us*--guy
Yeah, sorry dude, I'm taken.--Me

Eat your boobies--My dad
This was because I had peaches on my plate and they looked like boobies. lol. I thought it was funny.

Blurb My Brain:

Alright, time for another rant.  This is about the story above with Peewee.  Maybe I was drunk and that's why he looked like PeeWee. There was a Jason Mraz at the bar last night as well. lol.  Anyway.... I'm going to use this opportunity to rant about the do's and don'ts of dating and bar hitting.
1: if you get forced in the situation, make the most of it.  Don't just sit there, waiting for us to talk to you.  Taken girls are going to be the only ones that talk to you.  Seriously.  If you can't approach us to talk about the weather, or our earrings or dress or glasses or something, then what makes you think we are going to want to have a relationship (or just sex if that is what you are looking for) with you?  You may be shy, but it doesn't take much to break the ice.
2: Generally we put up the important questions first. Tattoos, scars, job, previous locations you lived in, etc.  This is your time to shine.  If you have a tattoo, don't just bust it out, tell us where it is and if we'd like to see it.  If it is in a naughty place, you may want to avoid it until you are a little more into the convo.  Oh, and if you have an outline, it better take up a big chunk of your back or something.  The guy last night had a dragon tattoo (which was a +) outline the size of my hand (which is about 7 inches tall at most, and therefore a -).  If you are gonna get a tattoo, get the color as well if it isn't a huge design.  My tat took 3.5 hours for outline and color.  If I can sit through that, then any man should be able to. Just saying. 
3: But the really good stuff to know is the job thing.  Not all women are gold diggers, but there is a good chance we want to know we aren't going to have to pick you up cause your bike (not motorcycle) broke down. In fact, trade in the bike for a motorcycle, and learn how to ride it.  But knowing a job is not a chance to know how much money you make (because unless you are a billionaire [and you probably don't have to read this whole stuff] money doesn't make too much of a difference).
4: Don't brag to us about getting plastered on some tropical island somewhere.  A: We'd probably like to be on that island. B: We don't care that you can't handle your alcohol. Some of us can barely hold ours, without having to potentially baby you.  lol.

JUST FOR THE RECORD: I am not bashing Nameless, just telling others his mistakes, so that they can learn from them as well.  I did tell him all the things he could improve on. Hope he didn't cry himself to sleep. lol.