Fat, Sexy, and Funny

Things we say:

Choosing a girl friend is like buying a used car if the oil doesn't smell right there's probably something wrong with it.--Matt
Why are you dating smelly girls in the first place? Lol--Me
so you have been using this used car for a couple months now, and you just now noticed? maybe you have bad oil haha--His friend Riley
And you know some oils do permanent damage to the cars engine.... It's always better to prepare accurately before putting in your oil--Me
Oh let's clarify that the oil in my car is just fine, I was just trying to help others out haha--Matt   

If you could go to a concert for free but you'd have to work either as a bouncer, or as a potty watcher, which would you choose?--The morning radio show.

back to reality, and I'm already annoyed. My phone just auto-corrected "haha" to "hahaha" -- um, yea it was funny, but let's keep our pants on.--Carolin
  
remember bro, stay out of handcuffs! to increase your chances, you must try not to be hispanic or african american--Greg's friend Cody
technically I'm Jamaican-American. Thank god for loopholes.--Greg

Who runs for public office with a name like Weiner? Unless his first name is O S C A R what a tool--Cousin Mike

Let me count the ways in which I love Shenanigans; 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24...I think that's it. Wait no! 25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42...I've run out of fingers but, I'm sure you can think of even more reasons.--the afternoon radio show.

"I'm Special :D"--Boyfriend
"Special ed"--Me 
"Now if only I could make a smily with a helmet."--Boyfriend
" (:D "--me
"That's a toupe"--Boyfriend
"Flip your head, the D is the helmet"--Me. 
"now he just has a wierd formed skull."--Boyfriend
"that's special ed for you"--Me 

karaoke is the most embarrassing way to learn all the song lyrics you've been singing for years are very very wrong.--Toby
  
Drama llamas are officially out of my life.--Steph
  
"You must play the trumpet, cause you're making me horny and stuff" gotta love movie night at the station :)--Jeff
  
Dear Boy, I like where this is going, a lot :D--Michelle

Blurb My Brain:
Ok, so I'm conceited and I like to talk about myself.  Big surprise there.  But me being conceited probably has a little to do with the low self esteem that I had in high school, that ended up turning into this giant ego.  After all, if I don't love me, who will?  That being said, I think I'm hot or something. LOL.  I'm not saying it to brag, or anything, but I have the occasional event occur where I am stared at, or hooted at, or something of that kind.  Most recently, I was told by two separate individuals that they were disappointed that I was not single.  One said that he knows how much I love my boyfriend, and that is why he respects me and doesn't hit on me.  Apparently the day I'm single he calls dibs on the first date. LOL.  The second male actually ventured so far as to say he would ACTUALLY quit smoking to have a date with me.  THIS my dear anonymous internet friends/readers, made me laugh out loud.  I mean, first of all, that's not original.  I have an ex who DID quit for me... later went back to smoking after we broke up, but whatever.... so its not some monumental thing to me anymore.  Also, just because you quit smoking, does not mean that the effects of smoking which have permanently damaged your body suddenly disappear.  Sure, the yellow fingertips disappear, and teeth eventually whiten, but the lung cancer never goes away.  I don't want to date and eventually marry anyone who is like 40 times more likely to have lung cancer! Plus, if I get three offers in the same week, I'm pretty sure you're gonna have to try harder than giving up smoking to win me over.


Although, Boyfriend just gave me 50€ and told me to dance on the bar. LOL.  


Regardless, I am SUPER DUPER AMAZINGLY happy that I am dating Boyfriend.  NO chances for anyone else. At all. In fact today, he made me laugh out loud simply by saying L O V E you. something about the capitalization and the added space made me feel like I was special, his SCHATZ if you will.  So, sorry to disappoint, but I have to decline your gawking at my booty shorts, your random whistles from the street, and of course the "if you were single" conversations.  I will still accept free drinks with no strings attached.


ALSO WHILE I AM EXPLAINING HOW I WOULD NEVER BE WITH SOMEONE BESIDES BOYFRIEND (loud noises): I can't believe that rumors are starting about me and my best friend.  I mean, what's funny is that while Boyfriend was here we used to do everything together (meaning me, BF and boyfriend).  Why should I stop hanging out with my best friend because the boyfriend leaves? AND, the boyfriend told me to make sure the best friend leaves the house occasionally.  AND, the best friend is boyfriend's troop? Come on people.  I have better things to be doing, such as moving, and packing, and working, and trying not to overtrain, and trying to find a fricken salad.....


Also, I hate E. Coli.  Never had it, but it has wiped out my diet, and I dislike that.  I feel like a tub of lard. One that gets hit on too often. lol.


Enough blurbing. I swears.

Featured Randoms:

Saw this on Cordi's page, and it made me miss George Carlin.  Like A LOT.  In light of the recent tons of scandals, this is definitely worth a watch. :)